As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Hollywood Gala for Linda

Hello and welcome to the Author Roast and Toast. Today’s featured celebrity is Linda Poitevin, and we are celebrating her book, A Fairy Tale for Gwyn in magnificent Hollywood style. We’ve pulled out the red carpet for her in the grand ballroom of the Ritz overlooking Hollywood Boulevard. With a breathtaking backdrop of sloping hills and the ocean, we invite you into a magical party where fairy tales still come true.

The hostesses saunter out, their faces in perfect symmetry from their recent Botox treatment. With one
eyebrow cocked, all appear to be in the constant state of astonishment. Wearing frozen Barbie doll expressions, each hostess enters the grand ballroom on the arm of her handsome escort.

In a teal georgette beaded halter gown that hugs her like a second skin, Sharon looks absolutely breathtaking. As Mary undulates toward them in a shimmering turquoise slip dress that shows off every inch of her fake hooters, heads turn indeed. A hush falls over the room as Lyn sashays through the door, looking very chick in a violet snake-skin dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, earning her a few whistles.

“Air kisses, dahlings,” Sharon greets her fellow hostesses. “You girls look most elegant tonight, despite the Mr. Spock raised eyebrow. Think anyone will notice?”

In the room of mirrored walls, the hostesses turn as one, each eyebrow cocked upward in a most curious expression. They try to laugh but the pain brings tears to their eyes. Mary is the first to speak. “Well, maybe if we didn’t ask for the maximum amount of Botox allowed in one human forehead.”

“Yeah,” Sharon winces. “We were trying to look oh so Hollywood, and look where it got us. Not even able to smile.”

“Ah well,” Lyn stomps her foot to the music. “Tomorrow’s another day. Oh, look! Is that the Donald?”

The grand ballroom of The Ritz reflects opulence and refinement. Frosted French doors invite guests to the gala. Gold-winged angels grace the center of each glass table, and white tapered candles flicker in the dark.
From the elegant spiral staircase to the Baccarat crystal chandelier, the ballroom glitters amidst tranquil twinkle lights. Oliver, dressed in formal black tie, fusses with the appetizers and finger food he’s prepared, all natural and organic. On a huge white marble table, he arranges Lobster Bruschetta, stuffed mushrooms, figs and dates, warm oysters on the half shell with spicy Ponzu, lemon and chicken spring rolls dipped in plum sauce,
watermelon and cantaloupe slices, platters of strawberries with hazelnut dip, turkey meatballs, goat cheese puffs, tuna and potato tapas, grapefruit and orange Waldorf salad, artichoke tapenade on crostini. There is also heaping platters of artisan cheeses and breads and baked brie. The aroma is heavenly and the candelabras on either side of the table enhance the artwork of each appetizer. Champagne cascades from a gorgeous Greek fountain, and for those who favor a non-alcoholic beverage, there is lemon and raspberry spritzer. On a pedestal table in the corner is the cake, an elegant strawberry mousse cake decorated with white chocolate and fresh berries.

With a jaunty deliverance of Sinatra, the red-jacketed piano player jazzes it up as the bell of the ball arrives. And on the arm of her escort, Linda waltzes in, looking drop-dead gorgeous in a floor-length black silk one shoulder gown. With her her head held high, she prances in, her long diamond earrings glittering under the lights. She waves to her adoring fans, and Oliver greets her with a bouquet of red roses.

Junior and Cuddles scatter confetti from the balcony. Welcome to the party!

For a chance to win a pdf of Linda’s book, A Fairy Tale for Gwyn, please answer the following question:

Who would you like to dance with at a Hollywood gala?

Blurb and excerpt:

Gwyn Jacobs doesn’t believe in fairy tales.

Ever since her ex-husband walked out four years ago, abandoning her with their three-year-old
daughter and four-month-old twins, Gwyn has had to be mother, father, and bread-winner all rolled into one. Her own scarred heart and failed marriage aside, she refuses to open up her children’s lives to the possibility of another heartbreak, so she has an unbending policy of no dating and no unattached men in her home...

Until her very own fairy tale falls into her lap, and the hero won’t take no for an answer!


“I think you should,” he said.

Gwyn reached for the handrail and gripped it until the ache in her knuckles remained her only link to reality. She thought she should, too, but decided to make sure they
were thinking about the same thing. “Should what?”

“Know why else I’m leaving.”

She gulped for air. She absolutely didn’t want to know, she told herself, because it was for the best, and reasons didn’t matter. They couldn’t matter. But when she
tried to deny him, she managed only a thread of a whisper, a single word. “Why?”

Strong, heated fingers closed over hers, slid against them, twined with them. “Because if I don’t leave now, I won’t leave at all.” Gareth’s thumb stroked her wrist, playing
havoc with her pulse. “Because, besides missing my plane and breaking my contract, I’d still be here in the morning when your kids woke up, and you’d hate both of us if that happened. And because I respect you, and them, too much to do that to you.”

Gwyn squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on his words rather than his touch.

Respect…kids…she felt certain the words should have some importance, but she couldn’t seem to get past the warm, pulsing ache spreading through her body.

Gareth’s voice swore in her ear. He’d moved closer. Close enough that his scent filled her senses to overflowing, and his hair brushed her cheek when she moved her head,

“You’re not helping,” he muttered.

Her eyes fluttered open. “Wh-what?”

“I said, you’re not helping,” he grated.

With a shock, Gwyn realized that he hadn’t been the one to move, and that her own feet had somehow shuffled forward, bringing her to teeter on the edge of her stair,
her free hand resting against his shoulder for balance. Her face flamed. She dropped her hand and stepped back. “I’m sorry.”

Gareth’s clenched jaw made his smile look somewhat tight. “Don’t be. I’m just a bit rusty at this honorable thing. Which brings us to the next discussion.”

Gwyn would have liked to retreat a few more steps before she tried to discuss anything with him, but he still held her hand captive. And with his thumb continuing to travel
its hypnotic path over her wrist, she couldn’t muster the will to pull away. She cleared her throat. “What discussion would that be?”

“The one where we decide what we do now. You see, much as I’m enjoying Goldfish soup and doing chicken pox dot-to-dots, I’m afraid those pursuits still fall under the
heading of friendship.” He lifted her hand in his, turned it over in his grasp, and traced a finger across her palm. “I meant what I said about wanting more than that
from you, Gwyn, and I don’t know how long honor will hold out.”

Nothing on earth could have persuaded her to meet his gaze at that moment.

Gareth lifted his other hand to push a strand of hair away from her face. “Come away with me.”

Except maybe that.

Writer, reader, mom, wife, sister, friend, Homeschooler, organic gardener, collector of way too many pets, pursuer of dreams...

I live just outside Canada's capital, Ottawa, with my husband, three daughters, a dog, two cats, a rabbit, and a Bearded Dragon lizard. When I'm not involved in the above, I also can and freeze our family’s winter fruit and vegetable supply, knit, (basically), crochet (better), and start way more projects than I ever finish (fortunately that doesn’t hold true of my books!). I love spending time with my family, having coffee with friends, walking by the river and watching thunderstorms…in about that order.

A Fairy Tale for Gwyn

Available at The Wild Rose Press


  1. Who would I want to dance with at a Hollywood gala? Hmmmmm - so many choices, so little time . . . Okay, let's go with Bruce Willis. Congratulations on the release and my hope for many sales. The blurb was great.

  2. Hi Patsy, welcome to Linda's party. Your place is ready and waiting, and Oliver will be pleased to escort you (and Bruce) to your seats. :)

  3. Air kisses, Patsy. You look ma ve lous, dah ling. Hello, Lyn, dear. However are we going to eat when we can't open our mouths? Sharon eyes the tantalyzing food, her lips tightly perched from the overdose of botox... Oliver, bring me some champagne with a straw...better yet...a shot of whiskey from the bar to deaden this pain. Lyn, will you join me dear?

  4. I waltz up to my three hostesses (well, stagger really, because I am SO not used to high heels!) and, in true French-Canadian style - I am from Quebec, after all - I air-kiss each of them twice, once on each cheek. "Ladies, this is ten thousand times better than I could ever have dreamed. Thank you so much! You're all absolute wizards at arranging these galas...I am SO impressed!" I step back to admire the glittering array of people, decorations, and food...and to surreptitiously eye the rather odd expressions each of my hostesses is wearing. They all look rather astonished by something. I glance down at my off-the-shoulder gown to make sure it hasn't fallen off something else. Nope. I'm safe. I glance back at the three ladies and decide it must be a Hollywood thing. :)

  5. Sharon rushes out to Linda, gushing, her mouth beginning to loosen just a tad from the embellishments. She returns the kisses on the given cheeks. Linda, welcome to your party. And thank you so much. We do our best, but keeping up with Hollywood in a world where no one ages is a bit...painful. Can Oliver get you a drink or a scrumptious appetizer? This is your evening to party! Oh, be still my heart. Is that the Donald coming for a dance with you? Wink wink

  6. Lyn hugs her sister hostess, Sharon and embraces Linda warmly before she is whisked off by Donald. (Lyn hasn't quite mastered the art of botox kisses yet! :)

    Sharon, drinking through a straw is such an inspiration, sweetie, thank you Oliver champagne for me please,and could you make it two straws?

  7. Lyn, dear, Sharon tries to wiggle her mouth free from the pressure. You do realize if we keep drinking, we'll be drunk before Mary even arrives. And dare we tell our guest Linda that we all ran out and had botox for her Hollywood gala to try and snag a few rich ones? Sharon feels her eyebrow dip an inch or so. Oops. Oliver, a refill please...

  8. I stagger back to the group a few minutes later, certain 'the Donald' has broken at least three of my toes. Surely with all that money, the man could afford dancing lessons! Passing Oliver, I snatch a glass of champagne from his tray, down it, take another with a mutter of thanks, and then take shelter behind my three gorgeous hostesses. It's not likely the Donald will come my way again, having been sidetracked by a much younger (I glance down at myself) and bustier blonde, but my toes and I are not taking any chances. From my safe place, I peer out into the gathering throng. This is my first time in Hollywood and I don't want to miss a thing. "So," I say brightly, "Who's who out there and who do I get to meet?"

  9. Mary hides behind a parlor palm and adjusts her dress once more. Lyn picked out her dress and I'm only guessing she made sure it had her boobs hanging out more than she'd rather they did. They are just jealous, they keep teasing me that they are fake. Jealousy is a sad thing.
    Mary chuckles at Sharon, which is hard to do since Sharon suggested the botox. Why do I go along with this stuff, I'll never know. But it's good to note that Sharon's butt is hardly hidden by the lovely dress she wears. And that Lyn is wearing running shoes under her dress, she can't fit into any high heels that they currently make. Poor dear. Denial ain't just a rive in Egypt.
    Mary bolsters her courage and walks in. "Air kisses for everyone darlings!Sorry I just was helping the Vanderbilt's to find a table."

  10. Oh Linda come up her. Mary helps her to walk around the posterior of one of the hostess's in her way.
    Well we have the heirs to many fortunes here. The cream of the crop so to speak. Who would you like to meet?

  11. Oh Frenchie, oh I mean Paris. Could you come over here.
    "Hi Paris this is Linda. Could you take her and introduce her to all your wealthy friends? Donald keeps crushing the toes of her Jimmy something shoes. She is a bit overwhelmed."
    "Sure." Paris quips. "Come on honey, do you do jello shots? I just love them."
    Paris drags Linda off too meet the creme de la creme of the social set.

  12. Sharon, ignoring the snide remarks of the Mary Ricksen, snakes past her after blowing her an air kiss. Rushing up to Linda, she tosses her head back and laughs. Linda, you're a hoot, and you'll fit in with us just great. Sharon covers her mouth but a giggle bubbles forth. Look at the Donald out there, hopping about on his still throbbing foot. I love it!

  13. Oh Sharon dear, I am not being snide, just reminding you that my boobs and your butt are still problems. Ahem.
    Mary throws her arms around Sharon and hugs her tightly. "I love your butt Sharon," Mary cries!
    Wait, not love, I think it's so sexy.

  14. Mary's tight hugging of Sharon knocks her off balance. She falls into Lyn and Mary falls on her.
    Linda chuckles, lucky she wasn't close.
    Get off me Sharon tries to smack Mary. Okay I am. Mary rolls off of her, she rolls off of Lyn, who lays dazed on the floor. Three handsome, wealthy friends of Paris rush over to help the ladies up. Sharon clutches her hero in a bear hug and his face turns red.Then he kisses her, a long lingering kiss. Sharon WOW!

  15. Wow, Sharon grins...there really are stars in Hollywood...

  16. Lyn and Mary wish that they could open their mouths. But they are frozen and Mary is wondering if the botox is making things worse. Her eyebrow is up on her widows peak and one side of her mouth is up and one down, Help, nothing comes out but a squeak. Lyn's face shows the panic inside her. The botox is causing havoc with their faces. Sharon is still sucking face and they wonder if she has the same problem. What to do????

  17. Linda quick tell us about your book. Maybe it will help relax our faces.

  18. Linda blushes and tries to look like she is standing apart from the heap of hostesses being helped up from the floor. Paris keeps rambling on about his weekend in Monte Carlo, apparently oblivious to the crush of people struggling to right themselves. Linda fends off the jello shots her newly appointed escort keeps trying to push on her and discreetly offers a lost running shoe to Lyn, who is crawling around on the floor searching for it. Lyn snatches the shoe away, shoves her foot into it, and then returns to her statuesque upright glamor. "You didn't tell me I could wear running shoes!" Linda hisses. "That's so not fair!"

  19. Linda, your book sounds intriguing. Ladies, you put on quite a party. What fun!

  20. I was so engrossed in the party that I forgot to tell you who I'd like to dance with. It won't be my sweet hubby, as he's tone deaf and has two left feet. Not that I'm Ginger Rogers, you understand, but I'l like to dance with one of the pros from Dancing With The Stars. Hmmm, I think a tango or a Viennese waltz would be perfect.

  21. Linda pushes away yet another jello shooter and turns her back on Paris. Hollywood, she is finding, isn't much different from high school. She clears her throat. "My book," she says. "Yes. Well, it's a romantic comedy, actually. Kind of like Notting Hill, but the hero is the Hollywood star rather than the heroine -- " she breaks off as Paris wedges himself into the midst of the gathering. "Doesn't he ever go away?" she asks Mary in exasperation.

  22. A tall handsome hunk carries Lyn off in his arms, she's so light he hardly notices he's carrying her, he takes her to a secluded corner...

    And who's that with Mary? Ooh and who's that Prish has just introduuced Linda to?

  23. Linda turns to Caroline. "How lovely to meet you!" she gushes. "Thank you so much for coming!" In an aside, she mutters, "Whatever you do, DON'T dance with the Donald!"

  24. Mary look toward the doors where guests are coming and going. She spies him. All his good looks are no match for his gentlemanly manner.
    Mary grabs onto him and whispers her request.
    I'd love to be your escort, I see the guy you came with is drunk and crying in the corner. Take my hand beautiful, let's trip the light fantastic. Mary giggles and hugs him her hooters press against his manly chest, and she gets a little thrill. Thanks Gerard for being my date. Wait till the others see, they will be soooo jealous.
    Could you introduce Linda to your friend Josh Dumal? Sharon and Lyn will need to change escorts too. they seem to be more interested in each other than them. Who would you like to meet Lyn? Glad you found your sneaker. Sharon, are you being a snob or do you have a preference? Gerard Butler has brought a lot of his hollywood hunk friends. Oh, you just can't smile, yeah I get it. Who do you want?

  25. Caroline! Air kisses, dah ling. Yes, we are all trying to fit in with the rich and famous of Hollywood, you understand. I must drink more to deaden the pain from the overdose of botox. Oliver, keep 'em coming, love. Linda, I love the sound of your book, magical and fun. Ooops, you must chat with me later. I'm being swept away by yet another lover...I mean loverly young man. Hic...Sharon staggers a wee bit and giggles. Then she kicks off her shoes, her petite feet never touching the ground...

  26. Sharon floats oh so lightly past Mary and Gerard, smiling her botox smile even if it kills her. Mary, dear, some of us don't need to throw ourselves at the hot lookers, they swarm to us. Gerard's eyes seem to be drifting about the dance floor. I'd clutch him a bit tighter if I were you, dearie. Sharon giggles...but then again...I'm not you. Ta ta, da ling!

  27. Linda, are you having fun? Isn't this great, elbowing with the rich and famous of Hollywood? Ah, here come a few of Gerard's buds, lookers too. Let's play hard to get. It is sooo unlady like to act the fool like the Ricksen chick. She has no shame. Lyn, get up off the floor. Lyn? She passes out every week. We're trying to get her to enter a clinic for AA, but she's in denial. Hic cup... Me? Oh, I was already in every clinic in town. I prefer living it up in true Hollywood style. Wink

  28. Let me apologize for my fellow hostess's they are swallowing the jello shots your are refusing. Sharon sober up if you want to meet any of these famous hunks. Lyn, pick yourself off the floor. Oh my. A handsome hunk moves past Lyn's shoes looks at them and shakes his head. He gazes into her lovely eyes and the feet fly out of his mind as he picks her up, steps back with the weight, recovers and walks into the dark corner. By the way who was that guy.
    Gerard, Sharon should be talking less the botox,has that effect. Her lovely long hair almost touches the ground as she is carried away by her hunk. He sets her down and grabs her close for a sexy slow waltz. Whoo Whoo, Sharon, even your butt is not an issue. He loves big butts whoever he is. He keeps running his hand over yours and licking his lips. Who is that hunk too?
    Linda stands, eyes popping as she watches the two of them shamelessly hang onto the men that chose them.
    Wait a handsome, tall and sexy gentleman approaches. He looks at Linda, promising to be careful of her sore feet. Before we dance may I rub those feet, dancing afterwords? Linda, Oh Linda!??
    She is frozen in one place. Lips slightly parted she sighs her happiness. Prince charming is here.
    Who is he?

  29. Mary snickers, I heard the AA meetings you guys attend are no Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholics
    All. Is not the same thing. Besides you two only drink once a week right?
    Sharon is in a bad mood. she shoves Mary into a punch bowl and Mary recovers, only her boobs got wet. Mary gives Sharon a look and Sharon runs to hide behind Lyn. That'll do you no good missy! I'll get you my pretty. In the meantime
    Gerard kiss me. MMMMmmmmmmmmmm!

  30. Linda, happy release. What a lovely excerpt.

    The party looks great and your outfits are fabulous. I bet poor Oliver has trouble trouble keeping his eyes from oggling right and left. So who did he dance with?

  31. Of course we only drink once a week, sweetie. ('course we make the most of it then!)

    Oh look at Linda dancing the night away, how does she keep going so long, and she's so light on her feet!

    I'm going to rest a bit and have another glass of champers - er I mean a slice of watermelon, while I get engrossed in her book.

    Hey one thing I wanted to ask you Linda - Gwyn is a Welsh name. Is your heroine Welsh?

  32. Mary, forget it, dearie. Your lips cant feel his kisses with all that botox. And my face can't feel the iciness of the punch. That's the trouble with these Hollywood parties. Sharon waves to Mona, blowing her air kisses. No one feels a thing. No emotions. That's why we're all drunken fools. , dance with me.

  33. Don't be jaded by these people with money Sharon. They all pee like we do.
    Oh, who is that hot movie star you have on your arm?
    And Lyn your feet they, they shrunk.
    Sharon your butt is gone.
    And darn it so are me hooters. What is going on here!! Everyone is frozen but the three hostess's
    The room is getting dark and flashes of lightning fill the hall. There is magic here. Must be the Welsh stuff?
    Could it be a bad Welsh witch, if so Lyn this one is yours. Take over sweetie, I'll guard Linda.
    Mary screams as Sharon is picked up by a strong gust of wind, she's very light I guess. Mary grabs her hand and pulls her back. What's happening??????

  34. Linda rushes into the room, hair awry and cheeks pink. She stops briefly to put her high heels back on, winces, and then sashays over to join Sharon and Lyn, who are supporting one of the pillars near the center of the room. Sharon's unlifted eyebrow rises to join the other in silent query. Lyn hiccups and leans in to pluck a rose petal from Linda's hair. Both ladies grin wisely. Or at least, Linda assumes they're grinning...it's hard to tell with their faces all stretched that way. She feels her cheeks go even warmer. "It's not what you think," she tells them. "The guy I was dancing with? He owns the landscape firm that designed the grounds. He wanted to show me his rose garden." Sharon and Lyn exchange looks. Linda huffs. "No, really. We started talking and he found out I'm a gardener and -- " she breaks off, realizing that with these two, explanations are pointless. Time to change the subject. "Look, I hate to be rude, but I have to ask -- what the heck have you done to your faces? They're all...stiff." Lyn hiccups again, chokes, and glares at Sharon. "YOU explain," she says.

  35. Oh wait, it was just Linda coming back from, interlude, to be nice about it. Why is your lipstick smeared all over and where oh heavens why did you change dresses?
    This sleek number is stunning. but six inch heels???
    What's up with that?

  36. Linda glares at Mary. "I tore my dress on a rose bush and my escort very kindly had another brought over to the hotel for me. Now get your mind out of the gutter and remember I'm a happily married woman. And stop changing the subject. What's with the funny faces?"

  37. Great excerpt! I will pass on the dancing, and order a drink.

  38. Okay, well it was Sharon's idea. We went to get botox treatments and lip plumping done. We looked pretty good at first, then Lyn said more I have a line around on face you missed. Mary notices a line missed on one side of her forehead. Sharon just wants more of everything. So the doctor kept injecting the stuff. When we left we could barely talk and one eyebrow is now lifted very, very, high. My lips won't move when I speak. Is there a reversal treatment. I hate this!

  39. I opted out of the forehead Botox package deal, but my lips feel like those over-inflated inner tubes. I can't even sip through a straw, I'm using a portable fan that spritz water on my lips! On the plus side, Angelina Jolie's got nothing on me. Ow...spritz...spritz! Oh, hi Linda. I'll just use my wish-a-day spell, and make Colin Farrell available again. That bad boy always brought out my inner witch. I'd like to dance with him.

  40. Didn't you know Witchy Woman, this is virtual, every single man and woman here is available.
    Like back before anyone got married.
    So I think I see Colon, yes there he is. He has his eyes glued to your lips. Have fun girl!

  41. Witchy Woman, we were hoping you would grace us today and alas...here you are! All right, so the cat is out of the bag and Linda has a right to know. We wanted to look a bit younger than our age, gasp I know...not that we are old by any stretch of the imagination. Fear not. But the Ricksen chick dared me and Lyn to do it and well, once we started looking younger and more exotic, we got carried away. you know what they say about alcoholics? One drink isn't enough? Well we were like that at the botox clinic and kept asking for more. Now we are nearly paralyzed and can't enjoy life. So we drink and drink a lot, especially Lyn... She prefers a gallon of mead a day but will drink whatever's on tap, bless her soul...

  42. You may drink but I don't. What am I gonna do?

  43. Sharon waves at Traci, not sure how to show excitement when she can't smile or move her face muscles. Oliver, more house libations, please. Yes, we can do hooters...I mean shooters... Purple Hooters all around.

  44. Hi Traci!! Have a glass of white wine. I know that's your favorite.
    Sharon always blames me for everything. Whah, whah, whah.
    Ha, she tore her dress on a rose bush, like there are any rose bushes around here. LOL
    Linda a little kissin' when your temporarily single, why not?

  45. "Oh, my...and you did all this in my honor?" Linda reaches out and pulls everyone into a big group hug. "Aw, guys...you're too sweet for words! Um, careful, Mary, you're drooling over those lips of yours. Here," Linda grabs a fancy drink of some kind off a passing tray and fishes out a frozen strawberry. She pokes it into Mary's equally frozen mouth. "Suck on that...it's the best we can do for now. So how long does this stuff last, anyway?"

  46. Suddenly Linda spies her new gardening friend over Mary's shoulder. He gives her a wave and lifts an eyebrow (but not quite as high as Mary's). Linda clears her throat. "Um, will you excuse me for a while? Geoffrey offered to show me the water gardens after I changed...he designed them himself." She wags a finger at Mary. "Don't choke on the strawberry!"

  47. Oh, there he is! Colin may have his eyes locked on my lips, but my eyes are locked on his, "OWWWW!" Rubbing my side, Mary why'd you elbow me? I was going to say, my eyes were locked on his dreamy eyes. Well, no time like the present. I'll go ask him to dance. Wish me luck! Spritz...spritz!

  48. Linda, we have no idea how long this junk lasts. Or if it leaves us at all. We might...gulp...wind up looking worse than previous. Let's run out and dance the night away with those hotties just in case. Hey, Lyn, drag one by the shirt collar. Mary, oh you got the Gerard. Witchy Woman, who is that man you keep winking at? Mmmmm....t

  49. There is a line of twenty hot men standing over there, waiting on us!
    Who do you want to dance with everyone?
    Witchy Woman, no spells let's see if Colon picks you or Linda. LOL Mary elbows her again. Run, there goes Linda. This is not gonna be pretty. Mary gasps in shock!

  50. Lyn grabs hold of the nearest available man and draws him onto the floor.

    You know, she whispers conspiratorily, they say I drink a lot. I only drink once a week! *hic* I'm alllowed to have a little fun aren't I? 'Course I prefer mead really, being Welsh. It's the Celtic coming out in me *giggle*. Mead's OK. It's only honey and water you know. "wink*.

    She looks over her shoulder and Waves to Witchy woman and Traci, wondering who that fantastically handsome man with Linda is.

    Well as it says in the song, "keep on dancin'!"

  51. Mary, you always do such a good job with these. Very inventive. Love all your botoxed characters. I'd choose Hugh Jackman. He's hot AND he can dance.

  52. Well, you win some-you lose some. Linda does look great with Farrell, though. Oh, I'll just have to settle for Jake Gyllenhaal. Somebody has to make the sacrifice, might as well be me. (Linda, I have to say your hero Gareth sounds breathtaking.)

  53. It's a collaborative effort Kristin. But thanks for stopping by. Prefer to dance with anyone special?
    Witchy Woman dancing up a storm with Jake circles by the three hostess's flirting. She tosses a handful of sparkling magic dust and suddenly the room darkens and those snap light thingees are in everyone's hands. Linda turns up the music as the Bee Gees come up to the dias and start singing!

  54. Is Gareth here? I'd so love to see, I mean meet him!

  55. Sharon, enough alchohol in her to allow her to finally break out in a wide smile, grabs a hottie and shakes it loose. Whewwww hoooo...let's pretend we're dancing with the stars. Hey Linda, Lyn, Mary and Witchy Woman, let's boogie the night away. Where's Johnny? Oh, Johnny, you can run but you can't hide! Kiss me, you handsome fool!

  56. OMG, I want to dance with Gerard Butler. Oh, yum...
    Congrats on the boook!
    Kaylea Cross

  57. Hi Kaylea! Welcome to the party. Dance the night away. We are having so much fun.

  58. Holy smokes! It's Malcolm McDonald from Three Dog Night, young and hot again. Wow! Look at the stars of music waltzing in! It's no it can't be, Hold the phone!!!!
    It's the Rolling Stones!!!!
    Mick is so sexy and I have no idea why? He's so skinny. No it can't be Mary passes out in a swoon, no on catches her as she hit's the floor, the BEATLES walk in! WOW! Everyone is dancing like crazy. What a party Linda!!!

  59. Wow, now we're having flashbacks? Swoon...

  60. *Giggle* sure looks like it Sharon, ahem, I wonder where Mick's dragging our Mary too, not quite what one expects to see at the Ritz, but hey, our parties are not exactly known for being conventional, are they? *Grin*.

    Hmm, Linda's not back yet with her gardener hunk is she? Or is she - I can't quite see my contacts seem to have misted over!

  61. Help I don't want Mick, I want Malcolm he's so cute.
    Although I thank him for helping me up. You two just stepped over me and kept dancing. Thanks Mick really, it's Malcolm.... Ahh, I am so glad we go back to our young bodies when we have most of these roasts.
    Linda, OOOOOhHHHH Linda, I never woulda thought it! Look at her go!
    Is that one of the Bee Gee's she's with or who is it....? Sorry Gerard nice to dance with you. But Sharon she, oh never mind.

  62. Linda you have been great! What a fun roast and you are such a good sport. We loved having you. So let the party continue!!!

  63. Linda rejoins the group and collapses, panting against Sharon. Her hair is awry and she has lost both her high heels, but she is having way too much fun to care. She grabs the glass of champagne from Mary's hand and downs it in a single gulp, then hands it back. "Whew, thank you! I needed that." She tosses a kiss and a wave over her shoulder at her dance partner. "WHOOO is that?" Lyn demands, goggle-eyed. Lyn stands on tiptoe and tries to peer past Sharon, who shoulders her out of the way. Mary narrows her eyes and looks at Linda. "Is that who I think it is? Funny, but he looks just like I imagined Gareth would in your book." Linda takes the pins out of her hair and shakes the remaining 'do' loose with a sigh of pleasure. "Really?" she drawls. "Really," Mary replies, poking Linda in the shoulder. "Was he your inspiration? Truth!" "Maybe..." Linda looks coy, then grins and squeals like a school girl. "Yes, yes, all right! I admit it -- he was my inspiration." She sighs. "And he's even better than I imagined...if such a thing is possible." "Hmph," Mary mutters. "What happened to happily married?" Linda rolls her eyes. "I'm married, not dead," she retorts smugly. "A little fantasy is healthy for a relationship. Hey -- I just realized, your lips move again! And Sharon and Lyn, your eyebrows are almost even with each other! Way to go, ladies!!"

  64. Just as an aside, everyone, thank you so much for coming out to the party -- I really am having a fabulous time, and it's nice to meet some new people, Mona, Traci and Witchy Woman. And I'm glad you think my hero is hot, Witchy Woman...I'm rather in lust with him myself! Now...party on, dudettes!! :)

  65. Phew, there's certainly magic in the air Linda, I was beginning to thnk my lips would never get back to normal (and d'you know those other two are so jealous of my tiny feet they had them injected full of botox as well!)

    That Gareth is very, very hunky Linda. *Grin* I love the quote about being'married not dead' LOL! Well we won't say anything if you don't! I'm off to find my own hunk. This party's goin' ter rock all night!

  66. Lyn, it's the Mick all right. Look at Mary shake her hooters. And wow, Linda is really going wild with her gardner. Oops, Sharon leaps in the air as the late Andy Gibb takes her for a spin for Stayin' Alive!

  67. Group hug for Linda, girls. Isn't she fun? We must have her back again and again. She really knows how to party down and doesn't even care that we're ah...botoxless!! Oh dear, we look like the hags we are...

  68. Linda limps toward her hostesses, her shoes in hand. She yawns widely, too tired to cover her mouth. Reaching the little group, she shakes her head ruefully. "Sorry, gals, but I'm just not as young as I used to be. I'm going to have to call it a night." She smothers another yawn. "I had SUCH a good time...I wish I could stay the whole night. Thank you SOOOOO much for all you've done -- you were amazing hostesses, and so very entertaining." She gives each a hug goodbye. "You'll keep me on the guest list, right? I'm always up for a good party, and your parties are the BEST." Blowing kisses over her shoulder, Linda turns to leave. Then she pauses and stares at the ladies, all a little frayed around the edges now, and tips her head to the side. "You know, next time you can all save yourselves a lot of pain and expense...you look MUCH better with your very own faces!" :)

    And with that, ladies, I bid you good night...I truly had a fabulous time, and thank you all for your warmth and hospitality! Hugs to all!

  69. Lyn stretches, and rubs the sleep from her eyes. Cuddles is curled up by her little feet, snoring gently. The other two hostesses are also fast asleep, happy grins on their faces. Mary is using Junior as a pillow. Good job he's a big dog!

    We're so happy to have had you as our special guest, Linda, you were amazing, and so much fun. So glad you enjoyed your party. Don't forget to pop back and let us know who your winner is.

    Hmmm I see there's still plenty of food left, OLiver's stashed it all in the walk in 'fridge, to keep fresh. Breakfast anyone?

  70. Sharon opens her eyes, feeling a bit different. A headache from being hung over? All the pain. She stretches and yawns, her mouth forming a wide O. Then it hits her as she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She can move her lips and eyebrow, the botox spell removed! Lyn and Mary are back to normal too, wrinkles and all. Then she spots the puff of smoke as Witchy Woman disappears into the pre-dawn day. Her magical chuckles echo through the hills of Hollywood. Sharon blows kisses in her wake, relieved to be back to her own face, wrinkles and all. Now where are Mick and the boys. I do believe they're in the kitchen chatting with Oliver over breakfast.

    Come on, Linda. Let's wander in and finish this party right. Lyn and Mary, wake up girls. This is a breakfast not to be missed. Mary, no time to stuff your hooters back in your bra. Cuddles and Junior have...you guessed it. Bounce into the pool with a splash.
    Linda, you were such a delight to have. We loved your sense of humor and hope you will become a regular . Thank you so much. Group hug from the hostesses!

  71. Hugs back, everyone! I had a great time, and will definitely be back again to visit. I'll let you know the winner on Monday, too, so stay tuned! Have a fabulous weekend!!!


This is an interractive blog - please feel free to pop in and comment throughout the Roast as much as you like - and remember to leave your email address if you wish to be put in the draw to win this week's prize.