Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else

Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else - Book your Celebration Roasting Bash now ! BUT FIRST PLEASE READ OLIVER'S RULES !

P
lease Note:
We don't do reviews or interviews. just virtual parties to promote your book!

As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.
***********************************************************

AUTHOR ROAST AND TOAST

AUTHOR ROAST AND TOAST
authorroast@btinternet.com

Friday, February 12, 2016

Peggy Jaeger's Valentine's Party for - 3 Wishes - A Candy Hearts Romance


Oliver, dressed in a custom tailored dark chocolate tuxedo helps the hostesses out of the limousine. Lyn, Mary, Debby, and LaVerne are all wearing elegant evening gowns in various shades of brown. LaVerne's deep chocolate silk dress swirls around her ankles as a crisp February breeze raises goosebumps over her pale skin. Mary adjusts her caramel colored  bodice in an attempt to keep "the girls" in place. 

Lyn, wearing a gorgeous chocolate evening gown with a shawl and sweetheart ruched chiffon gives her the stink eye. "Honestly Mary, if you wouldn't choose such low-cut gowns, you wouldn't have to spend the entire evening adjusting the neckline."

Lilly snorts. "Mary would have to adjust her neckline to keep that bosom from popping out if she were wearing a turtle neck."

Debby snickers and pats her mile high bouffant hair. "Yes, Mary. Perhaps you should have tried a dress similar to this gorgeous Grecian number I'm wearing." Debby twirls around on the side walk outside
Caramelle de Chloe, an elegant candy shop in Manhattan in her flowing golden brown dress. "It's cut high in the front and low in the back."

"At least I followed Peggy Jaeger's request on dress color," Mary smirks. "Lilly's gown isn't a single shade of chocolate."

Lilly swishes her ample bottom and turns her back on Mary, displaying the lovely lines of a cream colored satin chiffon gown. "It's a shade of white chocolate." 

Oliver shakes his handsome head and ushers the ladies inside the elegant candy shop. Once again, he has worked his magic, turning the lovely store into a chocolate themed Valentine's event. The shop is decorated in valentine day streamers with hearts and flowers everywhere. The waiters are all just as hunky as Oliver but, they are decked out in cupid attire complete with wings. Oliver of course, would not be caught dead in wings, but he can appreciate the idea of women enjoying half-naked, winged men. He eyes the female servers dressed in white fairy garb with wings.


The hostesses ooh and awe as Peggy steps forward with the guest of honor, her heroine from her Candy Hearts Romance, 3 Wishes, Chloe San Valentino. 

"Everything is perfect," Peggy says. "Even the chocolate tiered birthday cake for Chloe."

Chloe smiles. "This is my favorite time of year because my birthday falls on Valentine's Day. And this is a perfect place to celebrate. I hope you love my shop."

"Everything smells heavenly," Lilly grumbles and then pouts.


"So why the long face?" Debby asks.


"It smells like chocolate, and I love chocolate."


 
LaVerne and Mary exchange quizzical frowns.


 "And?" they ask in unison.

"I developed an allergy to chocolate twenty years ago. If I eat it, I'll break out in a rash," Lilly groans, sounding pitiful.

Lyn pats her back and smiles. "And don't you think Oliver knows that?"


Lilly perks up, and Lyn adds. "He requested several white chocolate treats just for you. He said you could eat white chocolate."


"I can!" Lilly says with a smile.


"Oh crap," LaVerne moans. "I heard the drinks were mostly chocolate confections and liquors. You know how cranky Lilly gets when there's no alcohol or coffee at a party.


Debby sighs, "Well I see several guests sipping coffees and expressos, so we should be safe from Lilly's crankiness."

Mary smiles. "Really, girls. Oliver knows that too. I'm sure there's something alcoholic here that doesn't have chocolate in it."

"But of course!" Lyn smiles. "And I hear the Peppermint Patties are to die for, and unlike the store bought candy, the drink doesn't contain chocolate."


With a wide smile on her happy face, Peggy shares her favorite Peppermint Patty recipe.

Peppermint Patty

Ingredients:

Brewed, fresh, strong coffee - cooled
½ cup white chocolate pieces
½ cup WHOLE milk
1 shot ( 1 oz) Peppermint Schnapps
whipped cream
crushed peppermint candy pieces

1.Brew coffee and cool for 30 minutes.


2.Melt white chocolate over a double boiler, stir until smooth ( do not burn!)  Once smooth and glossy, stir in liquor and milk.


3.Pour a mug half way with the coffee and then the white chocolate mixture over that.   


4.Top with the whipped cream and pieces of the crushed peppermint candies





And for chocolate lovers, there's the Martini di Cioccolato


1.  Melt ½ the chocolate pieces and put the melted coco into a piping bag with a # 1 or 2 tip ( very small hole). Drizzle and swirl the inside of a martini glass with the melted coco and let it chill for 15 minutes.



2.  Mix all the liquid ingredients. Put to the side.



3.  Once the melted chocolate pieces are cooled, turn the glass upside down and swirl it into the remaining coco pieces to form a chocolate ledge on the rim of the glass


4.  Pour the mixed liquid almost to the top. Serve.


"Hand me a Peppermint Patty!" Lilly says to Oliver.

LaVerne smiles. "I want a chocolate martini."



Just give me chocolate," Debby adds as she looks around at all the lovely chocolate covered confections. Almost everything is chocolate or covered in chocolate from candies and cookies, to a phenomenal chocolate cheesecake birthday cake with 30 candles!




And scattered about every table are Chloe’s favorite candy: Valentine Sweethearts with romantic little sayings.

Oliver passes out drinks to Peggy and the hostesses, as in celebration of Chloe’s birthday, Peggy is giving away an e-copy of 3 Wishes to one lucky party goer.


(This week's introductory skit written and illustrated by Lilly Gayle)




Title: 3 Wishes
Author: Peggy Jaeger
Publisher: The Wild Rose press
Line: Champagne

Blurb:
Valentine’s Day is chocolatier Chloe San Valentino’s favorite day of the year.

Not only is it the busiest day in her candy shop, Caramelle de Chloe, but it’s also her birthday. Chloe’s got a birthday wish list for the perfect man she pulls out every year: he’d fall in love with her in a heartbeat, he’d be someone who cares about people, and he’d have one blue eye and one green eye, just like her. So far, Chloe’s fantasy man hasn’t materialized, despite the matchmaking efforts of her big, close-knit Italian family. But this year for her big 3-0 birthday, she just might get her three wishes.

Excerpt:

            At about five minutes of ten I was almost ready to turn the Closed sign on the door when it opened. I heard Janie’s breath hitch and turned from where I was sweeping up. Staying open late is always a risk, with the thought thieves will invade at the end of the day.

            If the guy standing at the door glancing around the shop was a thief, then Dio mio, I wanted to be robbed.

            About six foot, his hair was the color of a deer’s pelt, with autumnal golds and browns shot together in a glorious patchwork that grazed the collar of his jacket and curled a little at the ends. He wore a faded brown bomber jacket over a shirt I couldn’t see, but he had shoulders almost as wide as my doorway. A pair of well-worn jeans covered his mile long legs, and the fabric on the stress points at his knees was practically white.

            “We’re about to close,” I heard myself say. “Can I help you?”

            It was at that moment he looked over at me.

            His face could have been sculpted by Da Vinci or Michelangelo. A broad, smooth, forehead housed naturally arched eyebrows I knew some of my gay guy friends would have paid a fortune to have on their own faces. His cheeks were carved from marble, high, smooth and deep. And his mouth, mother-of-God, his mouth. Full, thick beautiful lips sat perfectly over a chin with a dent you could shove a button into and have it stay put.

            “Sorry,” he said, those fabulous lips pulling up a little shyly at the corners. “I got stuck at work and couldn’t get here until now. I’ll be quick. Promise.”

            So here’s the thing: the guy was gorgeous. But even if he’d looked like a frog with raw antipasto smothering his face, I would have dropped to my knees when he opened his mouth. Warm honey, a shot of raw whiskey, and a little hot puff of smoke wafted from his mouth like a fine and rare brandy being decanted.

Author Bio:

Peggy Jaeger is a contemporary romance author who writes about strong women, the families who support them, and the men who can't live without them. 

Her current titles, available now, include SKATER'S WALTZ and THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, and FIRST IMPRESSIONS books 1 through 3 in her 6-book The MacQuire Women Series, published by The Wild Rose Press.

Peggy holds a master's degree in Nursing Administration and first found publication with several articles she authored on Alzheimer's Disease during her time running an Alzheimer's in-patient care unit during the 1990s. 

A lifelong and avid romance reader and writer, she is a member of RWA and her local New Hampshire RWA Chapter.







Buy links:

The Wild Rose Press:  http://www.wildrosepublishing.com/maincatalog_v151/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=195&products_id=6627



***GIVEAWAY***
To win an e-copy of Peggy's book, all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
(We reserve the right to waive the prize in any week when there are not enough contestants for a draw to be deemed fair and unbiased)

Monday, February 1, 2016

Friday, January 29, 2016

We're CelebratingThe Montana Dreams Series by Cait Jarrod


"I hope the sidekicks will behave, I wonder if they'll be allowed into the petting zoo," Lyn mutters as they all pile out of the SUV.

"Well as long as TT,  Nibbie and Jazzy are kept on their leashes, and Debbie keeps Tigger snug in her purse, Trina said it would be OK.," Lilly says, eyeing the cute little kittie peeking out from under Debbie's arm.  "It's Cuddles that's likely to be a problem, I hope he doesn't cause any trouble."

"He'd better not," Lyn mutters, "I've given him a good talking to and told him to be on his best behaviour or he'll be grounded for a month."

Hopper
"Isn't this a lovely place though," Lilly says, changing the subject, as they walk around gazing at the various animals in their roomy enclosures, with parents and children wandering around and mingling with the friendly creatures. "I love the Montana countryside.  It's absolutely 'Divine.'" The hostesses groan at her pun,  and Mary stops suddenly, to stroke a donkey, causing the three other hostesses to cannon into her and they all end up in a heap on the ground.  They start giggling, and haul each other up.  Lilly brushes the dust off her ample posterior and Mary delicately flicks at her voluptuous bosom.

"Good job you weren't wearing one of your usual low cut tops," La Verne remarks, "we'd have had to hose off your chest area."

"Could have been worse," Debby mutters, "we could have been in with the animals and fallen in a pile of doo-doo."  She shrieks as a cheeky black alpaca stretches his head over the fence and nibbles at her bouffant hair.  The hostesses dissolve into giggles again, while Debby tuts and pats her hair back into place.  "Does it really look like I have a bale of hay on my head?" she pouts "Don't answer that," she orders, as La Verne opens her mouth to speak.

"Oh look," Mary shrieks, as they turn a corner.  There leaning over the corral fence facing them,where the ponies are, alongside a beautiful black stallion, stand three very attractive women, three amazingly hunky men - and
Cait. "Just feast your eyes on that man candy."

Thor
"Sorry, they're all spoken for," Lyn says, with a wave, while she casts an envious glance at the horse,  "but I guess they may have some friends somewhere around."  They walk towards the group, past tables laden with  pasta and shrimp,  assorted Italian dishes, and bread and rolls, tapioca pudding with fruit compote, and Boston Cream Pie , Oliver grins, as he sets out glasses of  Atomic Apple - a fireball and apple schnapps, as well as wine to go with their meal.







"Congratulations on these wonderful books," Lilly says, after Cait has introduced them to Trina, Autumn and Cadence, and they try not to drool when meeting Matt, Travis and Bradley. "Let's get this party started and learn more about the Montana Dreams Series!


(today's introductory skit by Hywela Lyn)



DIVINE blurb:
PURCHASE
Matt Carson and Trina Lovett befriend each other during turbulent times at a young age. Over the years, their friendship strengthens building a strong, unbreakable bond. At least that is what they believe. Life choices put an ocean between them, and the depth of their bond is tested.
Under the stress of being apart, heart-wrenching events leave them plagued with
doubt. Danger forces them to make irrefutable decisions about what they want from life.


EXCERPT
“What time  do you leave for Aruba tomorrow?”

Desire begged her to grab him and ask questions later.
 “At dawn, before the crows caw.”

 “Is Milton still getting after you for sleeping in?”

 “He did this morning. Dad doesn’t understand today was the last time I could possibly sleep late. Vacationing with my family is non-stop activities from dawn to well past dusk. My brother Bradley and I won’t get a chance to do what we want, like sunbathe or shop. As soon as I return, I don’t even
have time to unpack before I head to Dartmouth.”

 His gaze lowered to her mouth.
She stilled. The moment they’d avoided arrived. She wanted to kiss him more than she wanted anything.

 Their lips touched. The fire banking low in her belly came alive. She pressed her breasts into his chest, her nipples hardening to pleasured peaks. Their tongues mingled, slow and steady, as they appreciated and savored each other.

 “You taste so good.” He drew in a sharp breath and smoothed the hair away from her face.

She shifted to get closer. While she’d arrived pantyless, hoping for intimacy, their kiss caught her by surprise. She didn’t want it to stop. Quite the opposite, she wanted more. She craved to feel his naked body, to feel him buried deep inside, to feel him throbbing when he claimed her. Her body begged, pleaded, and pulsated. “I want you so much it hurts.”

 Pressing his forehead to hers, he released a long drawn out sigh. “I want the same.” He whispered, yet his voice cracked. “But…”

 She inhaled his intoxicating cologne that set him apart from every other man she’d met. Damn, would he throw water on their heated bodies?
“Is this the wrong thing to do?”

 She touched her lips to his neck, sucked in another Matt-fortified-scent. “I don’t know.”
The moon cast shadows over the bridge and him. How will she live without seeing him every day? How will she survive not hearing his voice? How will she deal with not knowing if he’s alive or not?
Right then, the truth to her apprehension came to life. The thing she feared the most. Not wanting to lose their precious relationship wasn’t a lie, yet she held a deeper fear she’d rather keep tucked away. If she made love to Matt, if they closed the last little bit of distance between them, she would lose her soul and never recover. If Matt’s journey ended the same as so many others before him, she didn’t know how she would manage. Military families possessed an amazing strength. Courage she didn’t have.


PURCHASE



 DESTINY

With the exception of one dear friend who treats her like a daughter, Autumn Wilcox keeps her heart closed off to others. Now this friend struggles with her last breaths and makes a request—for Autumn to find the elusive rainbow that will reveal her destiny. She doesn’t have faith in such tales, but for her friend, she agrees and seeks a pilot to take her to Bluebird Valley, Montana.

After the death of his parents and his brother’s war injury, Travis Carson withdraws and his heart
goes numb. He dives into work until his brother settles in Montana because of Travis’ insistence to carry out their parents’ dream of living in the mountains.

 He quits his search and rescue job to purse his vision of opening a scenic tour
business in Montana. So, when friends ask him on his last day of the job to give a woman a ride to the Big Sky Country state, he agrees. Simple, easily done, but the swirl of energy radiating off her has him agreeing and doing things out of his norm. He can no longer push away his feelings to protect his heart. He wants more.


  DESIRE

PURCHASE
Cadence Duvall had a heartbreaking secret. If discovered, she feared the man she wanted would disown her. Before the truth comes out and he could, she pushes him away. To her, it was better to have him wanting her than hating her. Almost two years later, her heart still hurts and the guilt remains. Hoping a visit with her best friend would soothe her inner turmoil, she heads to Bluebird Valley, Montana.

 When Cadence breaks Bradley Lovett’s heart, he moves to Florida to live the life of a carefree bachelor and to forget what he once had. This type of life works until he receives an urgent phone call from his kid sister, begging him to help her best friend. Cadence.

Good friends torn apart by circumstance, and just bad luck, find themselves living under the same roof. Now Cadence faces her secret and the man who taught her the true meaning of desire while Bradley hangs onto his heart.








Cait Jarrod author bio:

Someone’s always to blame…
In my case, I bestow the blame for my love of books and writing on my mother, knowing she would love it. A year after she died from cancer, I picked up her favorite pastime as a way to be close to her and found a niche I didn’t know I possessed much less loved.
The stories I made up in my head as a child, never left, and now that my childhood muse has grown
into an adult version, I feel blessed to offer entertainment. Recently, my writing has changed from full-length romantic suspense to romance novellas. My passion has allowed me to become multi-published and to achieve award-winning status, and become an Amazon Best Seller.

My hope: you’ll pick up one of my books, lose yourself in the story, laugh, possibly cry—a good one—and smile.





***GIVEAWAY***
To win a copy of Cait 's book, all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
(We reserve the right to waive the prize in any week when there are not enough contestants for a draw to be deemed fair and unbiased)

Friday, January 22, 2016

A romantic party for 'A Touch Of Passion', Boxed set of twelve stories




The rays of the setting sun are reflected in the clear water as the small sailboat carrying the hostesses glides to a halt next to the dock. Oliver, at the helm, quickly jumps out and secures the boat.

“Is there anything more romantic than a passion party by the river?” Lyn asks, rising and extending her hand to Oliver.
“Hang on,” yells Debby, as the boat rocks crazily.
Mary holds on tight. “You’d think with those big feet of hers, she'd have better balance.”
Lilly giggles. "Don’t worry Mary, If you fall in those great bosoms of yours will keep you afloat."
“Yeah, but if you go in, your backside will sink you,” LaVerne adds.
“Oh, stop squabbling and get out of the boat,” Lyn says. “Look at what a beautiful setting our twelve authors have  created for their love stories.”
Cloth-draped tables-for-two line the riverbank, with candles gently flickering in their glass holders. Along the riverbank, torchlight illuminates couples in each other’s arms, dancing to the soft sounds of a violin, while the sweet smell of roses fills the air.
Debby pats her poofed up hair. “Do I look all right? Perhaps my true love is waiting for me here."
Mary rolls her eyes. “All I can say is, with that hair, you’d better stay away from those torches.”
“I’ve never danced on  a shoreline before, have any of you?” Lilly asks.
“Yes, once,” LaVerne replies. "I stepped on a mound of fire ants."
Lyn laughs. “What a way to kill a mood.”

"Let’s go see what delights are laid out on those food tables,”Mary says.
Lilly smiles. “I'll bet we'll find champagne and chocolate. There isn’t a better combination.”

“Don't forget a handsome man,” Debby adds, as once again she pats her hair.
As the hostesses step from the dock onto the sand, the twelve authors: Traci, Uvi, Mimi, Elizabeth, Tamara, Regina, B. J., Laura, Suzanne, Cynthia, Lisa and Donna, come to greet them.
“Welcome,” Traci says. You’re just in time. The fondue pots are hot and we’re about to eat.”
Lyn lowers her voice and whispers to Laverne, “What’s a fondue?"
“I think you boil food in it,” Laverne whispers back.
Lilly elbows Laverne. “You don’'t boil food in a fondue pot. You dip food in it.”
“What kind of food? Debby asks.

Mary sighs. “Romantic food. Now come on.”
The hostesses hurry over to the table where crusty bread is laid out next to a pot bubbling with creamy cheese. A tray of steak and mushrooms in a Chantarelle sauce sits next to trout amandine.
Strawberries, bananas, and an array of fruit surround a pot of hot chocolate, and champagne flows from a fountain.

The hostesses fill their glasses and hold them up.

"Here's to our authors and their stories of love and passion."
(Today's skit wwritten by Debby Grahl)




Book Description:
Lose yourself in a touch of passion. Whether it’s the beauty in a song or the magic of a kiss, the agony of heartbreak or the hunger of yearning, explore ecstasy and desire in these captivating full-length novels. Written by twelve bestselling, multiple award-winning, USA Today and NY Times authors, this collection has it all: Historical Romance, Contemporary Romance, New Adult Romance, Romantic Suspense, Victorian Romance, Western and Literary Fiction. These sensual tales of love will leave you with a smile on your lips and music in your heart.

The Music of Us by Uvi Poznansky (Bestselling Author)
Lenny goes as far back as the moment he met Natasha during WWII, when he was a soldier and she—a star. Natasha was a riddle to him then, and with all the changes she has gone through, she still is. 

Love Me Tender by Mimi Barbour (NY Times and USA Today Bestselling Author)
How could Anne return to Texas knowing that her son would be meeting a father who didn't know he existed? And how could she go back to face the only man she'd ever truly loved?

Just in Case by Elizabeth Marx (Bestselling Author)
Revell’s been pining for her all these years. Scarlett’s never thought she was good enough for him. What if the love you thought would always be yours turns out to be forbidden? 

That Unforgettable Kiss by Tamara Ferguson (Top-10 Bestselling Author, Romance Reviews Readers' Choice Award Winner-New Adult)
Since Kate Callahan will be running the family construction business someday, she doesn’t have time for love. Until fate steps in by way of an unforgettable kiss from architectural intern Michael Murphy.

Concealed in My Heart by Regina Puckett (Bestselling Author, Readers' Favorite Book Award Winner)
Charity Fields is married to her childhood sweetheart and has the job of her dreams—until a terrible lie and a heartbreaking betrayal turns her life upside down.

The Belle and the Officer by B. J. Robinson (Top-100 Bestselling Author)
Historical romance. A Mississippi plantation. A southern belle. A Union officer. Alice Caldwell is young and in love in when the raging war disrupts her world and destroys her plans to become engaged. Her beau marches off to fight.

Seduction by Laura Taylor (Bestselling Author, 6-Time Romantic Times Award Winner, RWA RITA Finalist, and 2-Time MAGGIE Award Winner)
“A lovely translator, once betrayed under the worst possible circumstances, is seduced into love by a brilliant government consultant.” (Romantic Times Book Reviews)
Perfect for Him by Suzanne Jenkins (Bestselling Author)
As they danced, Jason whispered words of love to Harley, while her oncologist’s terrifying diagnosis kept ricocheting in her skull. To ensure he’d be okay after she was gone, Harley would take matters of love into her own hands.
Nellie by Cynthia Woolf (Bestselling Author)
Saloon owner Blake Malone is a bachelor and likes it that way. Nellie Wallace, a widow, needs a husband but never expected a man like him. Can Nellie and Blake make a marriage out of mutual need, without love being involved?

Jack Who? by Lisa Gillis (Bestselling Author)
The mission, that fateful day? Pick herself up, dust the ex off, and get dirty with someone else. However, Marissa Duplei finds that sexy, inked-up, metal musician Jack Storm is no ordinary revenge fling.

Ambrosia by the Sea by Traci Hall (USA Today Bestselling Author)
After a bitter betrayal by her late husband, self-taught chef Celia Langdon moved to the sea, where dive shop owner Dax Smith dared her to heal from the heart.

The Single Daddy Club by Donna Fasano (USA Today Bestselling Author)
Ex-military man Derrick is solitary and satisfied—until Timmy’s dropped into his lap and Derrick must become a daddy. Fate has denied Anna a family of her own, but she has plenty of love to give, if only someone would notice.

Perfect for Him by Suzanne Jenkins (Bestselling Author)
As they danced, Jason whispered words of love to Harley, while her oncologist’s terrifying diagnosis kept ricocheting in her skull. To ensure he’d be okay after she was gone, Harley would take matters of love into her own hands. 




***GIVEAWAY***
To win a copy of   this collection, all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
(We reserve the right to waive the prize in any week when there are not enough contestants for a draw to be deemed fair and unbiased)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE OUR GUEST? DO YOU WANT TO PROMOTE YOUR NEW RELEASE OR EVEN AN OLDER ONE?IF YOU FANCY BEING GUEST OF HONOUR AT ONE OF OUR PARTIES JUST EMAIL US AT THE ADDRESS in 'OLIVER'S RULES'!(PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A 'G' RATED BLOG SO NOTHING HIGHER THAN THIS RATING, PLEASE.)