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lease Note:
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As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.
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Friday, March 14, 2014

I'm Too Frumpy For My Gym by Melissa Snark


I go to the gym three or four days a week because A) I want to stay fit, and B) the kid center provides Miss Bear and I with a much needed break from one another.

Most of the people at my gym are pretty normal, but then there's another group. Fashionistas who carry Coach purses onto the cardio floor, who wear coordinated athletic outfits by name brand designers. These ladies look like they showered, applied makeup, arranged their perfectly coifed hair before their workout.

As a rule, I prefer to mind my own business. I use the elliptical machine. I wear headphones. I obey the rules of exercise equipment and elevators--  Don't look left or right. Stare straight ahead. Don't look at or speak to your neighbor.

Imagine my astonishment when a hand tapped my elbow. Startled, I glanced over at the occupant of the other elliptical machine, a young Asian lady who appeared to be one of the aforementioned Fashion Fitness Warriors. She spoke to me, so I removed my head phones.

"Your hair is very frizzy," she said. "I am a hair stylist. I just wanted to let you know that your hair stylist can provide you with a conditioning treatment that will make your hair very smooth."

"Um, thanks," I said. Then, for unknown reasons, I felt compelled to explain. "I don't shower before I work out, so I wake up and put my very frizzy hair into a ponytail."

"Your hair stylist can help you," she said with the serious air of an oncologist referring a cancer patient to chemo.

Right. I don't have a hair stylist. I refrained from telling her that the only time I've even had my hair trimmed in the last four years was the prior November, and only then for my sister's wedding.

"You have very pretty hair. Pretty color," she said. I think at this point she felt compelled to do some damage control for my poor ego. "Is your color natural?"

"I have children," I said, which is really the same as saying, Duh. My natural color is gray.

"Call your hair stylist right away," she said.  "She can help with the frizz."

"Uh, thanks?"

With a bright smile of encouragement, she concluded her workout and went on her merry way, content in the knowledge that she had done her best to save her fellow frumpy human being.



 Originally posted on The Snarkology on March 4, 2013.



Melissa Snark is a paranormal and romance author with a particular interest in werewolf and Norse mythology. Her Loki's Wolves series combines elements of both in a contemporary fantasy setting. She lives in Northern California with her husband, three children and glaring of cats.

Talking about cats, Melissa is offering a copy of her story ' A Cat's Tale' to one lucky commenter (see below) It is also available at Amazon, HERE

Connect with Melissa:
Email:  melissasnark at gmail dot com
Twitter: @MelissaSnark
***GIVEAWAY***



To win a copy of Melissa's story 'A Cat's Tale

all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
(We reserve the right to waive the prize in any week when there are not enough contestants for a draw to be deemed fair and unbiased)

23 comments:

  1. Love it Melissa, I've met people like that too! (although not at the gym since I don't 'do' gyms) I've been trying to beat the frizz for years too *sigh* but I have to say in your photo, your hair looks lovely, not at all 'frizzy'!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks, Lyn! The actual incident happened to me a while ago but not much has changed. My hair is still frizzy (that's not actually me but close!) and my gym is still snobby. Anyway, the hair gal cracked me upl

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  2. Your posts always give me a good laugh, Melissa. Love the line that starts, "I have children," !!!

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  3. Love it, Melissa. Been there, done that. Typical the Glamor Girl didn't have a clue what you meant by "I have children." I snorted coffee through my nose.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mac. She was early 20s so she probably didn't have kids but you'd think a hair stylist would speak the code. ;-)

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  4. I usually get the ones at the stores that want to help you pick out the right item. Complete strangers. LOL. I could just picture that lady trying to help you with your hair.
    Sue B

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    Replies
    1. Sue,
      I guess my hair was so bad she felt inspired to help me? *G* For me the really funny part is that she clearly meant well. She wasn't being sarcastic.

      Delete
    2. Forgot to leave my email.
      katsrus(at)gmail(dot)com

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    3. Thanks Sue - no problem, you're such a faithful commenter here we know your addy anyway! :) Hope you're doing well. x

      Delete
  5. OMG! I love the humorous and um....snarky way you tell the tale, but really? I have just two words for people like that pushy hairstylist...."How Rude!"

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    1. Lilly,
      LOL I guess I have a thick skin. She amused me but I really wasn't offended. :D

      Delete
  6. Oh my gosh, Melissa... You had way more humor than I would have. Reminds me of the little Asian gal who cut my hair once. She made a point to tell me--rather loudly, so that the entire room full of customers and stylists heard her--that I needed to get my eyebrows waxed. I'm with Lilly--very rude!

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    Replies
    1. Joanne,
      OMG, I had that happen to me too at a nail salon! I actually allowed my eyebrows to be plucked and then almost died when I saw what she'd done. It took months for them to grow back! *G*

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  7. Melissa, you crack me up, great post! Your dry sense of humor makes a situation where I woulda said something stupid, into an experience we can all relate to. And I think your hair is just wonderful.My hair was always so straight, thin, and flat. Thank God I never had my eyebrows plucked!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Mary,
      Thanks so much! Oh man, this whole conversation reminds me of my grandmother. I probably shouldn't bring this up but she once waxed her eyebrows off and they never grew back! Growing up, I always remember my grandma as having penciled on eyebrows. She passed away last year and we miss her so much. She was such a character.

      Delete
    2. Aw bless her, she sounds it! What great memories you must have though.

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  8. I've run into the rabid waxers at hair salons also.After they finished, I looked very surprised-even when sleeping-for months. Thanks for the laughs!

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    Replies
    1. Ashantay,
      Thanks exactly how I felt after the encounter with the plucker. Like a naked parrot. *G* Thanks for dropping by!

      Delete
  9. It could always be worse. She could ask if you were pregnant when you weren't. Last time that happened to me I said that I just had a baby, which was a slight fib. My son was four years old at the time lol.

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    Replies
    1. OMG, that would have depressed me. I spend enough time on those darn elliptical machines as it is. *G*

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  10. LOL Jolie! (I can't believe how rude some people can be!)

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  11. Here you were keeping in shape and having your hair critiqued, at a gym no less! Thanks for the funny story. We've all encountered "helpful" strangers to where we have to bite our tongue so not to stoop to their rudeness. You handled things very well.

    ReplyDelete

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