Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else

Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else - Book your Celebration Roasting Bash now ! BUT FIRST PLEASE READ OLIVER'S RULES !

P
lease Note:
We don't do reviews or interviews. just virtual parties to promote your book!

As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.
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Friday, March 21, 2014

JoAnne Myers throws the swankiest party in Town! Fun and a Giveaway at the Author Roast


The hostesses pile out of the limousine in their designer gowns
and stare up at the elegant mansion in Columbus, Ohio.

"Wow!" Lilly gushes. "I can't believe we've been invited to the governor's mansion for JoAnne's roast."

Mac whistles. "This is going to be such a blast. I hear the governor is an old family friend of JoAnne's. And he has nothing but nice things to say about her and her new release, Wicked Intentions."

AJ taps on her phone. "Wicked Intentions is actually a collection of paranormal short stories. The title alone sends a little shiver down my spine."

"Put that phone away," Melissa admonishes. "It doesn't go with your dress at all."

AJ hugs her phone before slipping it into an elegant, beaded handbag.

"I think this might be one of the fanciest shindigs we've ever hosted." Lyn looks down at her big feet and smiles. "I'm glad I wore my sparkly shoes."

Mary snickers. "I can't believe you found such elegant slippers in such a behemoth size."

"Speaking of behemoth," Lilly mumbles to AJ,
"Mary's 'girls' look about ready to spill over the top of that low-cut gown."

Mary proudly sticks out her chest. "Hey, I have Beyonce's upper body proportions and you have her lower portions, Lilly. I can't believe you found such a slimming dress for that big booty of yours."

"Be nice, ladies," Melissa says. "We're supposed to be on our best behavior tonight. JoAnne requested an elegant party and the governor has graciously offered the use of his mansion. So, let's get in there and get this party started!"

Once inside the mansion,  JoAnne Myers, the guest of honor rushes forward wearing an elegant blue gown with a pearl necklace and matching earrings. She kisses the hostesses on their cheeks and smiles. "Thank you all for hosting me and for allowing the governor to have the roast here. The Ball Room is elaborately
decorated in shades of blues, pinks, and lavenders and Guns and Roses will be singing all my favorite songs. Oh, and Kelly Clarkson, Harry Connick Jr., Belinda Carlisle and Tony Braxton are here too."

Lilly, AJ, Mac, Melissa, and Mary turn to Lyn with wide, questioning eyes. Lyn shrugs. "Hey, don't look at me. The governor is the one with the connections."


"I want him to host my next party," Melissa says as the hostesses follow JoAnne  into a large reception area. There, she mingles with her guests, often telling silly jokes before Criss Angel and David Blain entertain the crowd with  magic.

Then everyone sits down to eat a meal catered by Rachel Ray. The menu consists of exotic fruit, cheesy  potato soup, lemon pepper fish, grilled chicken in  mushrooms, filet mignon and porterhouse steaks. There is also several kinds of potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans, and broccoli with cheese.

And for dessert, there is German chocolate cake, cherry, apple, silk  chocolate, and coconut cream pies and cheesecake with or without fresh strawberries, Boston cream pie, and Tiramisu.


As people finish their meals, Oliver and a host of handsome bartenders monitor the two full  bars, mixing and serving pina coladas, margaritas, and strawberry daiquiris.

Then the Governor raises his glass in  a toast to JoAnne. Everyone claps and then Lyn raises her glass.

"Welcome to another fun-filled roast. Let the party begin!"

Author Bio:
I hail from the famous Hocking Hills region of southeastern Ohio. I have worked in the blue-collar industry most of my life. Besides having several novels under my belt, I also canvass paint.
When not busy with hobbies or working outside the home, I spend time with relatives, my dogs Jasmine and Scooter, and volunteer my time within the community. I am a member of the Hocking Hill's Arts and Craftsmen Association, The Hocking County Historical Society and Museum, and the Hocking Hills Regional Welcome Center. I believe in family values and following your dreams.
My books along with my original canvass artwork can be viewed and purchased here: http://www.booksandpaintingsbyjoanne.com
 Intentions

by JoAnne Myers

Blood Ties
Audra Roper has disturbing visions about her twin sister's disappearance, suspecting her brother-in-law Doug of Lisa's death.

Police officer Tyler Pettit tries to help, but when the law fails, Audra assumes Lisa's identity, plays amateur detective and discovers a bloody scene. All isn't what it seems as her life becomes a roller coaster of danger, heartbreak and intrigue.

Dark Visions
When Carrie Reynolds starts having nightmares on her twenty-sixth birthday, she believes her "dark visions" can solve the twenty-year disappearance of her father.

The Apartment
When young newlyweds Bill and Gayle move into their new apartment, their lives are plagued with sightings of evil ghosts that threaten their marriage and lives.

The Legend of Lake Manor
For psychic Cassandra Lopez, coming to haunted Lake Manor was like a mission. The Manor and its employees needed her help in ridding the home of specters, most trying to kill and one willing to stay for love's sake.

Summer Wind
When twenty-nine year-old Ginger Duncan discovers the old mansion Summer Wind, she is mysteriously drawn to it. Immediately the hauntings have a negative and profound effect on the family.

The Haunting of Barb Marie
Even as a child, Barb Marie saw dead people which terrified her parents. With no one to talk to about her gift/curse, Barb keeps the secret to herself. This takes an unhealthy toll on her childhood and two marriages. Who are these people that haunt her home now?

The Truth Behind the Lies-Laying the Norfolk Ghost to Rest
Solving the brutal murder of American born Ruthie Geil becomes a gauntlet of attacks and more murders for Federal Police Inspector Ian Christian. Between the victim's family, ex-lovers and ghostly occurrences on Norfolk Island, the killer is closer than anyone realizes.


Excerpt

Blood Ties

“Wake up, sleepy head,” said a cheerful Kyle Roper to his snoring sister Audra. Living next door with a key to her place, he often visited unannounced...like this morning.

Audra stirred in her canopy bed, then slowly opened one bloodshot eye. “Is it morning already?” she asked, releasing a Wild Turkey and Coca Cola scented yawn.

“Wooo...weee...” said Kyle as he waved the noxious fumes away from his face. “I’m glad you’re on vacation so you can sleep late. What time did you bad girls leave the bar?”

“One hour after closing,” she said rolling onto her back and pushing her long chocolate-colored hair from her mascara-streaked face. “I feel like crap.”

“Maybe sooo…but if you’re gonna take Mom to the hairdressers, ya got less then an hour to shower and make it on time.”
“Eight a.m. is too early to be getting a perm. What’s wrong with that sweet mom of ours?”
“She’s an early bird, unlike a pair of twins I know,” he said pulling back the covers to reveal his sister’s Asian inspired silk pajamas. “I gotta go. I’ll call ya later.” He then left the room as Audra reluctantly rose from her bed.

Immediately she felt a severe pain in her abdomen and cried out, alerting her brother just before he reached the front door. He raced to her side and found her kneeling on the floor, holding her stomach with both hands. “Audra, what’s wrong?” He lifted her petite body onto the bed. “Do you need an ambulance?”
Her face twisted in agony. Each word was a struggle to release. “Lisa! Lisa!” She sobbed, horrifying her big brother.

“What about Lisa?” He shook her to get a response.

“Lisa,” she whispered before fainting. Kyle was shaking with the realization his other sister needed help. He grabbed the nearby telephone from the side table and frantically dialed Lisa’s number.

On the third ring, his brother-in-law Doug Smalley answered. “Hello,” he said with a grumpy tone.

“Doug, I need to talk to Lisa,” Kyle said with urgency.

There was a moment of silence. “Do you know what time it is? She’s asleep. She didn’t get in till after four. She’s dead to the world.”

“Well then...tell her ta call me or Audra as soon as she gets up,” said Kyle. “Don’t forget, Doug.”

“When could I ever forget my in-laws?” The line went dead.

“Bastard!” said Kyle before returning the receiver to its base.

At that moment, Audra regained consciousness. “I need to call Lisa.”

“Don’t bother. I already did, and she’s asleep.”

“Your stomach feeling better? How’s your head?” he asked, sitting down on the bed next to her
.
“Can you get me two aspirins from the bathroom medicine cabinet?” Her older brother obliged. He returned shortly with the tablets and a glass of water. Audra swallowed the pills and liquid then said, “Something has happened. I can feel it. Like when we were kids and Lisa or me got hurt…”

“And one twin felt the other twin’s pain?” he said, finishing the explanation.

“Yes! It was just like that...but much worse.”

“Doug promised to tell Lisa I called.”

“So you didn’t talk directly to Lisa?”


“No, but you and I both know it’s not just alcohol Lisa is prob’ly on.”
Audra rebelled at her brother’s accusations against their sister. “So you believe Doug’s lies about Lisa using drugs?”

“Don’t forget I had a drug addiction once. I know the signs of a heroin addict. When Lisa calls you, make it clear to her that she needs to get help if she wants custody of the kids in the divorce.”
“If Lisa loses those kids, she’ll just die.”

“And that’s exactly why she must get help. I gotta go,” he said, kissing Audra on the cheek and leaving.
After hearing the front door shut, she remembered her previous obligation. “Oh crap! Mom!” She jumped off the bed and into the shower.

http://www.amazon.com/Wicked-Intentions-JoAnne-Myers-ebook/dp/B00GNRUF40/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1384531716&sr=1-1&keywords=wicked+intentions+myers



***GIVEAWAY***
To win a copy of JoAnne's book, all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
(We reserve the right to waive the prize in any week when there are not enough contestants for a draw to be deemed fair and unbiased)

38 comments:

  1. Good morning, Jo-Anne and welcome to your party.. You look gorgeous in that blue gown, it really suits you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Hywela, I always go all out for a Roast and Toast. Thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  2. Wow! I love all the entertainers here, JoAnne. You have great taste in music and I just love Harry Conick Jr. He is so good looking and has such a sexy voice. I just want to hold him and squeeze him and call him George. (Okay, so, if you're not as old as I am, you might not get that reference. But trust me. It's funny. lol!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love all music, as long as I can understand the lyrics. Thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  3. Good morning! Wow, that corn and chicken looks good. I've been craving summer foods.

    I'm briefly surfacing from my editing cave. Making the final galley read of The Mating Game today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Melissa, hope you enjoyed the Roast and Toast. I heard the Mating Game was a great read. thank you for commenting.

      Delete
    2. An authors favorite salute. May your edits be easy!!

      Delete
  4. Okay this is my idea of a shindig! *airkisses all around* Be back in a minute. I need a martini, Boston Cream Cake and Harry. But not in that order.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mackenzie, I am happy to see your are having a good time. Thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  5. Mac, get your paws off Harry. I called Dibs...um not AJ's Dibs, but hey, I'll take him too. lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greedy girl! I called both first.

      Delete
    2. Hi Gayle, dont get greedy girls, there are plenty of hunks for us all. Just drink up and party down. thank you Gayle for commenting.

      Delete
  6. You must forgive me, my first comment never showed. Nice Idea; pick a way to comment so it works...Hmm. Where's the guest? Did we lose another one, or maybe they will show later. It is a workday!! Who's in for finding Gerard Butler or Jessie and the Gang with me? They'd liven this party up for sure. Opp's almost had a wardrobe failure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont lose your panties at my party. I am the only one allowed to be naked. thank you for commenting Mary.

      Delete
    2. It's never the panties JoAnne, it's always the girls, they are much to big for the clothes they make me wear. You are the guest author, so you can be naked. We have invited some really hot hunks right???

      Delete
  7. So far I have loved all the comments. Keep them coming and have fun. Thank you all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hiya, JoAnne. You have to discern the fact from the baloney with this crew. (Pay particularly close attention to Mary. That girl carries a bag of blarney with her wherever she goes.)

      Delete
    2. You're not supposed to tell people. Geez talk about takin' all the fun outta stuff. I'm the black sheep, oh yeah, and it's much more funner!

      Delete
  8. Oh, I think I'm choking on a chicken bone. Mac, please let Harry come over here and give me mouth to mouth. lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL LIlly. You're like the author who cried wolf. I aint buying it and I AINT sending Harry over to do the Hynilickin' maneuver on you. :-)

      Delete
  9. *hic* So glad you invited Jesse and the gang, Mary! Glad someone remembered the mead too1 8HIC8
    You know it's probably a good job we have Jo-Anne to keep us in order and add some class to this party!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hywela, you ladies are a riot. I am happy you are have a grand time.

      Delete
  10. It's a rough job, but someone has to be the adult here, or at least in charge. The James Gang are as hot as ever, and those lies about killing people, were so the sheriffs could justify shooting them. They got away and are now immortal. Just like Gerard Butler is gonna be. When I'm done with him anyhow. How could they make another 300 movie without him, why it's just plain heresy!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'll send him Lilly, Mac is just bein' selfish. We know your needs. Mac, put that drink down, before you...uh oh...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm laughing so hard I coughed up the chicken bone. But Mary, be a doll and send Harry my way. Distract Mac with a drink so Harry can gently pat my back in case I loose my breath coughing. And if I happen to get light headed and lean into him for support, do NOT attempt to rescue me. lol!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I swear Lilly on the Sisterhood of the Hostess's of the AR&T. What happens on the roast stays on the roast. No wait, that's not true.Everyone knows this stuff now!! But, Harry and you alone, worth it I guess.:O)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lyn drank all the mead. Any champagne left? Anyone ever try sweet champagne? How sweet is it as opposed to dry?? Oliver??

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't like champagne very much - give me mead every time *hic*!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yeah, that mead isn't bad, Lyn, but I'll still take a martini first. I'll deal with you later, Mary. Sending my Harry over to Lilly. Ha!

    Oh, Harry, come sit by me, baby. Lilly is sweet but she has a habit of coughing up chicken bones. It's not pretty.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I forgot about that. But, why not share??? Harry, why are you wearing eye patches over both eyes??? Mary runs, as fast as possible, knowing how dangerous Mac can be when she drinks those Margaritas and you try to take her man!!! Help!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ladies, you are all invited to my next roast and toast.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'll show you coughed up chicken bones, Mac! But I think maybe it'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'm about partied out! Night all!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jo-Anne how come you still look so fresh and elegant? I'm all danced out so I'm going to sit in the corner and doze! (Avoiding Lilly's chicken bones. Now that isn't purty, Lilly!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hywela, I constantly primp throughout the party. You ladies are all the entertainment one would need. Thank you all.

      Delete
  21. Where am I? Too much mead, and I vaguely remember chicken bones??? Have a great weekend all!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I missed the whole party. Looks like it was fun too. Enjoyed the excerpt. Sounds like a great book.
    Sue B

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you Sue for your comment. I will also be roasted and toasted two more times. Hope you can make the other parties. Right now I must decide what four luck winners, yes ( 4) winners will receive a free print copy of my poetry collection, Poems About Life, Love, and Everything in Between. Thank you all.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi Sue - we always keep a welcome for you! :) Glad you enjoyed the excerpt!

    ReplyDelete

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AUTHOR ROAST AND TOAST

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