As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Pioneer Adventure with Ginger Simpson

Hello and welcome to The Author Roast and Toast! We are pleased to bring back the amazing Ginger Simpson! And she is here to promote her upcoming book


And today’s setting is a camp site back in the days of the Wild, Wild West, where the deer and the antelope play. We have prepared a shin dig, and invite you to join us for an exciting day on the pioneer trails!

Behind the scenes, the hostesses prepare for another author roast, fighting like wild cougars amongst themselves. With barely enough room to move for one, let alone three, Sharon elbows Mary out of the way, blinking wildly as she glues on her false eyelashes.

“If you’d quit primping in front of the mirror, maybe the rest of us could get in there. Come on, quit admiring your boob job. You’ve studied them from every angle. Do tell, dearie. How does one lug around all that silicone without toppling over?”

With a derisive snort, Mary thrusts out her fake jugs, her hand on her ample hip. Just as she is about to spout out something quite nasty, her sage green gingham dress rips down the center, exposing her fake knockers.

Open mouth and stunned mute, Sharon and Lyn stare. So shocked is Lyn, her eyes pop wide open, causing her blinding purple contact lenses to fly out, falling into one of her gigantic lace-up Granny boots. Mary, momentarily forgetting about her dilemma, gapes at the size of Lyn’s feet. “Wow, who knew they cut patent leather that big. Did you have to pay extra, sweetie?”

Lyn, hissing, manages to locate her lenses. And after cleaning them and popping them back into her eyeballs, she scowls at Mary for insulting her feet. But when they see Sharon, her petite, willowy frame bent over in an attempt to glue on her false eyelashes, they break into fits of giggles. Tongues clucking caddishly, they whisper, “If she didn’t buy her dress two sizes two small, maybe her bubble butt wouldn’t resemble a side of beef!”

Sharon, finally getting the glue to stick, hurls on them, fire in her eyes. “Something funny?”

“Nothing,” they choke back the tears. But when Oliver bangs on the door, telling them it’s show time, they pull themselves together like the professionals they are.

Zing! A bullet hisses through the camp, followed by another just as Sharon, Lyn and Mary step out of the covered wagon. Sharon’s cheeks turn a fiery shade of crimson, matching her pretty prairie dress with petite white flowers and ribbons. She turns to Mary, who is clutching the paisley rag scarf at her throat to cover the rip in her green gingham dress. Lyn has taken cover behind the chuck wagon, but her flashy purple pioneer skirt and big feet give her away.

The buffalo graze, undeterred under open blue skies.
But the horses are antsy, neighing and clomping their hooves in the dirt, sensing danger.
Oliver, dressed in a denim shirt and chaps, cowboy hat tipped over one eye, has shotgun at the ready. Satisfied nothing’s coming, he continues to cook over the blazing stones and rocks the women folk have gathered.
The hostesses set up a table for the celebration, the scent of salt pork and beans singeing the air. He is also roasting weenies, marshmallows and s’mores, along with buttery biscuits. The scent of strong , chicory coffee permeates the campsite.

But suddenly, the air changes. Cuddles and Junior, their little bandanas rustling in the brisk mountain breeze, begin racing in circles

And then they see it, a group of riders approaching in a cloud of dust.

“Injuns!” Mary screeches. “We’re gonna all get scalped!”

“I betcha it’s the Duke,” Sharon assures them. “Marion will come to the rescue.”

“Fools!” Lyn hisses. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s the Riders of the Purple Sage!”

But just as they are about to take cover in the chuck wagon, Ginger Simpson appears on the chestnut stallion in the lead. Whooping it up, she waves with one of her fringed gauntlet gloved hands and grins. Leaping off her horse, she looks sassy and sporty in her rose-colored split riding skirt, Nel riding blouse, rhinestone-trimmed cowgirl hat and strappy snake-skin boots.

Come and sit a spell, rustle up some grub and join us for the Pioneer Adventure.


Caught between the world of red and white, how will Grace Cummings choose?
A normal morning turns to disaster when a small war party attacks Grace Cummings’family and slaughters everyone but her.

She returns to the Lakota camp filled with hatred, anger and fear, but through the help of another white woman in camp, learns the Lakota way. Broken treaties, dead buffalo, and the white man's foray of gold in the sacred hills give the people reason to defend themselves. When white soldiers invade the camp and presume to rescue Grace, she must decide where her heart lies.

Papa scraped the last speck of egg from his plate and set it aside. “I s’pect Kev and me’ll find gold any day now. People are discoverin’ it all around us. When we make our strike, we can find some land and build a real house. It’s sure to happen soon… afore summer is past and the weather turns cold. In fact, Sassy, you and yer ma might want to start gatherin’ fair-sized stones and rocks for our fireplace.”

He pointed to the lean-to, still in progress. “In the meantime, Kev and I will finish our temporary shelter, so we can spread out a bit.”

No more climbing in and out of a wagon to sleep. Grace clapped. “Oh, Papa, that sounds so good.”
She sobered and flashed the look that always won him over…the half-pout, wistful gaze. “When we finally settle in our real house, it will be near a town, won’t it? Otherwise, how do you expect me to be courted out here in the middle of nowhere?”

“I’m not so sure I want you to be cour...” He jerked around and looked over his shoulder. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Kevin asked.

“I hear it, Papa,” Grace chimed in. “Sounds like yelling.”

Her father stood and scanned the horizon. He pointed. “Look. There!”

A group of riders emerged from a dust cloud in the distance. The yelling grew louder as they came closer.
The furrows in her father’s brow frightened Grace. “What is it, Papa?”

He darted for the wagon. “It’s Injuns! Hurry! You two women get inside and keep low. Kevin, get yer rifle!”
Grace’s heartbeat quickened and fear clutched her chest, making it hard to breathe. She’d heard about savages, but never saw one up close. She didn’t want to.

Her mother stood frozen in place. Grace grabbed her hand and pulled. “C’mon, Mama, we’d better do as Papa says.”

They ran around to the back of the wagon, and her mother boosted her up and over the closed tailgate. Grace dove inside, her mind filled with horrible thoughts. Would she get scalped or worse…were they all going to die?

All the while, piercing yells sliced the air while thundering hooves pounded the ground. Realizing her mother hadn’t followed, Grace rose up on her knees and peeked outside.

A pack of whooping Indians rode round and round the wagon, their voices creating a din of eerie screams while bullets exploded. The hair on Grace’s arms stood on end. She covered her ears, crouched against the sidewall and prayed the savages would go away.

Question: Where would you hide if riders were coming for you?
Ginger will grant one lucky winner a prize. Good luck!

Ginger lives in Tennessee with her husband Kelly, and they're alone, at last. Out of thirteen years of marriage, they've lived with relatives or vice versa for about ten of those years, and this time, they moved into a place so small, there isn't even room to hang a vacancy sign. She says overnight guests are welcome, but there's a two day limit.

An author of mainly historical novels, Ginger has dabbled in other genres but migrates back to her comfort zone because those are the characters who are in her head, clamoring 24/7 for their stories to be told. White Heart, Lakota Spirit, the sequel to her debut novel, Prairie Peace, is re-releasing from MoonGypsy
press next month, but in a much improved format. A benefit to continued writing is "learning" and she's applied her lessons to strengthen this story of a woman kidnapped by marauding Indians. Retired, Ginger has tons of time to write, but her grandson, Spencer, loves spending time with his "Nee Nee," and he's the most important guy in her life...right next to Kelly.

White Heart, Lakota Spirit
Coming Soon from Moon Gypsy Press

For Ginger’s other books:



  1. Howdy, Ginger! Welcome to your pioneer party. Saddle up and have Oliver grab you a plate of grub. We're expecting it to get wild and wooly at the campsite today. Rumor has it some of the old gang might show up like theDuke and the James Gang.

  2. Lyn rushes over to hug her fellow hostess.

    Hi Sharon, all joking apart, sweetie, you look beautiful. And Ginger, wow, she sure steals the show!

    Welcome Ginger, Oliver's been working so hard, do you like the cake he backed for you. I'm looking forward to this party, just hope we ain't gonna have any trouble from those outlaws, I've packed my pistol in my suspender, just in case!

  3. Lyn, dear, Sharon hugs her back. What a becoming shade of purple, and hat's off for packin' a piece just in case. I agree. Ginger is one sassy looking cowgirl. I especially love the hat and gloves. Sharon snickers to Lyn. Where's Mae West with her...ah...you kno

  4. Oliver, that is some cake you baked over the open stones. What a man!

  5. *Sigh* You're so right about that, Sharon, I drool just looking - the cake's quite good too! LOL

  6. Mary walks up to the two hostess's, her change of clothing is a lovely blue gingham with tiny white flowers decorating the flattering dress. I keep telling you two they are real, yes big, but real! Sharpm singing Yipie Oh,Ki yay at the top of her shrill voice. She switches to Home, Home, on the Range, where the deer and the antelope play! He cackling voice grates on Lyn, who shoves a piece of barbecue pork into her
    mouth. Thanks Lyn Mary snickers. She can eat all she wants, but she already has enough rolls to open a bakery.
    Mary sashays away to greet more guests as they ride up. Looking good she snickers.

  7. That was Sharon singing, excuse me for laughing so hard I misspelled her name. Mary twirls in her beautiful dress. She won't admit the others look good.

  8. Lyn runs up to Mary as fast as her little feet can carry her, nearly tripping over her lovely purple skirt in the process. She flings her arms around her fellow hostess (well as far around her as she can reach) Hello, Mary dear. You look gorgeous, nearly as good as Sharon and me! She chortles heartily at her own joke.

  9. Don't let her fool ya, folks. Those jugs Mary Ricksen is carting around are fake as the day is long. Hee hee. Lyn, dear, excuse me, but are you still trying to convince people you have tiny feet? Hmmm. Sharon opens her mouth and sings a chorus of Ride 'em Cowbow as she saunters off for more grub!

  10. Poor deluded thing. She comments to Lyn as Sharon leaves. She graba Lyn's hand and forces her to see that the duo is real. She's just jealous because she has a pirates treasure, you know a sunken chest.
    And you can't sing either Mary mutters.
    Lyn your feet look fine honest, Mary smile and looks up. Poor Lyn it's terrible to get oars when you buy a pair of shoes. But she does have a nice figure. Oh well I'm gonna check out that cowboy, when Ginger comes to the podium, I'll be back. Mary plans to keep an open eye out for Sharon, she's just looking sneaky.

  11. Lyn picks up her skirts and leaps onto her horse, standing nearby. Poor Mary, her eyesight's getting worse, Those aren't my feet she was looking at - I was standing on a log!
    Ginger's disappeard, where's she gone, I hope she's all right. I'm going to gallop up to that ridge and see if she's anywhere around.

  12. I saw it!! Sharon I swear, she went to put her boats into the stirrup and her feet shrunk down to normal!Maybe she has control of the size of her feet? Anyways, Mary waves Lyn on as she goes to the ridge to look for Ginger.
    Sharon, stop yodeling and help us find Ginger. She might be, gulp, kidnapped?

  13. Bad news, the pack of wild riders got her! Come on, Lynnie, get your gun, Mary, tuck in your hooters and snare a horse and let's ride off and find er. Oliver has the wild horses at the ready. Yeeee Haaa!

  14. Howdy Ladies, I had a hard night...too much sasparilla, I suppose. I'm excited to get this party going, and I know from being here before, you know how to throw a great one. I've posted an invite to my friends and I' hope they start drifting in pretty soon. I have an appointment with a snake oil salesman this afternoon about this nagging ague, so I'll be stopping back in. In the meantime, enjoy Oliver, keep you heads low from flying arrows and bullets, and stay in one piece. :)

  15. What a cute way to begin the blog! I laughed so hard. Good job ladies. And Ginger, you know I'm your biggest fan. This story sounds very intriguing!!! I need to get my copy very soon!

    As for the question of the day - where would I hide if riders were coming for me? Depends...are the riders good looking and sexy? heehe


  16. You saved Ginger Lyn? Fantastic!
    So let's get rockin! I love this place. I love a good Western. Can you tell me a bit about your book that no one knows.

  17. Sharon, you saved Ginger? Who saved her?
    Hi Phyllis, isn't a Western just the best thing ever?
    Ginger so glad you're here safe!

  18. Howdy, Pardner,
    I'm pulling up a saddle and relaxing round the campfire...hope there ain't no dadgum snakes crawlin about...or Injuns...don't wanna lose my scalp...riders coming to the rescue...yehaw...who wants to hide??....On the serious side, can't wait to read Ginger's next book...congrats and ladies, what a great way to introduce your guest....Tabs

  19. Ginger, whew! That was a close one. But for the moment, we're all dodging bullets and arrows. So let's grab some of that drink Ginger rustled from the Rough Riders and get this party rollin'. Hey, Phyllis! The book sounds great, huh. And I love your answer. Have some grub and a drink. Oliver, get a plate for our guests.

  20. Phew! I'm glad we were able to rescue Ginger - dunno why, but those varmints who were tryin' to kidnap her took one look at us gals galloping up the ridge an' took off as if the posse from hell were after 'em!

    Welcom Phyllis and Tabitha, set down an' let yer saddles cool a spell! Have some vittles and freshly brewed coffee!

    That book of Ginger's really sounds something eh' An Oliver's rigged up a magic lantern in the waggon so you can watch a little preview!

  21. Tabitha, I love that name. Watch out for outlaws, there are a lot in this neck of the woods.
    Sharon walks by with two hunks on each arm. She sticks her tongue at Mary and Lyn.
    Lyn mutters something under her breath about, mumble, mumble, Easy...
    Mary laughs out loud.
    In the distance clouds of dust indicate a lot of riders approaching the camp. Look lively ladies, Mary yells, and the three hostess's go into action. Circle the wagons Lyn yells. What wagons dingaling, this is a camp party.

  22. Hi Tabatha, no kidding. Sure hope those snakes don't start crawlin' too close to the fire. Hmmm. But we gotta keep an eye out for the injuns and the outlaws. You any good at dodging bullets and arrows?
    Hey, they can probably zing right off Mary's chest of arms, right, Lyn? Wicked wink.

  23. Howdy Phyl and Tab....glad you could come and join the party. Oh, and Sharon, Do please tell Oliver that the video he's showing is the wrong one. I'm not sure if I mentioned...this book is a re-released version, in a much better format and writing style...and although I love the video Julie D'Arcy created years back, I have a new one that features the new cover.


  24. Oops, sorry about that Ginger. We'll get right on it. Before those riders kick up some dust, tell us why you decided to do a rewrite?

  25. When you first start writing, there is so much you think you know that you really don't. And there is vast difference between telling a story and SHOWING it to the reader. This was my second book, and a continuation of Prairie Peace. I was fortunate enough to re-release that one, too, incorporating all the things I've learned that have helped me to improve as an author. The stories are the same, but there is much more SHOWING than TELLING, and I think the stories are presented in a much more professional writing style than I possessed back in the day. As much as we hate the editorial process, I've always walked away knowing more than when I began, and each book shows the growth. I love this story, and I'm so thankful to be able to bring it to a wider audience in a much improved version.

  26. Ginger, you look so snazzy in your rhinestone hat and dudette outfit! And Oliver, you always look great, but that Stetson suits you.
    Wonderful interview, as always, ladies. And loved the excerpt, Ginger! Best of luck with it.
    Hm, I believe I'd hide in the saddle of the fastest horse!
    Happy trails!

  27. Hi Ginger, Sharon, Lyn, and Mary! You did a great job with this.

    Wonderful excerpt, Ginger.

    "So what happened next?" I keep asking.And where would I hide? If I could find a tree with low branches, I'd shimmy up until the heathens left.

  28. Welcome to the pioneer campsite, Cate and Laurie. Both good answers! Sit a spell and take a load off before the next group of riders gets us. Oliver has some strong coffee and some pork and beans, pray tell, and some biscuits and cake. Laurie, my invite by pony express got to you? A surly outlaw told me it was returned with no forwarding address. LOL Never mind, you made it!

  29. Ginger, I couldn't agree more. We learn with every single blog or page we write, and if we hear only the negative with an editor, we can't call ourselves good writers. It's a continuous learning process, I think. Each day we get better than the day before.

  30. Oliver strides towards the wagon,a reel of tape under his arm.

    "Shucks you just cain't get the help these days," he mutters under his breath, fancy givin' me the wrong tape to set up, sorry Ginger.! A few minutes later he reappears.

    "It's Okay now, I got the right one running this time!"

  31. Hi Cate, Hi Laurean, nice to see you both. Sorry Ginger, it was me who gave Oliver the wrong tape. (Sig) Sharon lets him work with us every week and he still makes me all a dither. Ooops, don't tell him!

    Well we're getting some good answers to the question here, let's hope we don't have to put 'em into practice!

  32. Amazing Ginger. It gives me hope that I can do that someday.
    Okay, here's the story. There are a gang of thieves, rustlers, and rabble-rousers fast approaching the campsite! Quick grab your guns and take a position behind something. Quick ladies! Head this way, we don't want to be found by them. They could attack up and do horrible things to us! OH NO! They blindsided us look out ladies. Mary screams as Lyn and Sharon are grabbed by two big, hunky, rough, men. AAAAHHHHH they have Ginger, Cate, Laurean, Phyllis, they got everyone but us Junior. Thanks for leading me to this great cover. Don't whine I see they have Cuddles too! They've covered his horn. He's Helpless! gosh I wish those two would let me teach them how to do some spells!
    What are we gonna do? It's up to us to save them. Oh No!!!!

  33. Mary spies Oliver. What do you mean you were in the wagon changing tapes? You have to help me figure out how to get them back!
    Sharon is a strong woman, she will probably enjoy being held by a strong rustler in his arms. But poor Lyn, she will be so upset!

  34. The big burly outlaw grabs Ginger and lassos her and ties her to a tree trunk, grinning the whole while. Oh, Ginger starts moaning...but wait...is she smiling?

  35. Look out Mary, Sharon screams, her wails echoing across the land. The ugly one just caught sight of your hooters. Here he comes, ready or not.

  36. Ginger, pitching and clawing, frees herself and knocks the rider off his horse. She pulls the ruffians's rifle from the scabbard at the edge of his saddle and attempts to rescue Lyn and Mary, but they beg her to move along. They seem rather content in those big, hunky arms, at least for women who have supposedly been kidnapped.

    Ginger's so confused, she pushes her hat down firmly on her head and rides off toward the horizon to her appointed snake-oil salesman meeting. She'll be back though. She's shaking her head, thinking Mary arranged this whole fake attack thing. Cate and Phyllis don't look very unhappy with the situation either. Keep the campfire burning.

  37. But wait, Lyn whips off her lace-up boot and slugs him. He's out like a light and down for the count. To add one for good measure, she kicks him in the gut with her other boat of a boot and paddles off, firing her pistol.
    Wow,, what a crew of outlaws!

  38. Sharon, tied to the tree is in a lip lock with her captor. Cate, Ginger, drooling is not lady like. Lyn, this was your chance, wasn't he cute? I handpicked these guys. Whooops, the truth is out Ginger was right. I guess she and Lyn are not interested like the rest of the captured women are. Mary binds her big boobs, changes into a jeans, boots, a huge poncho, and a sombrero, and walks the camp to see if anyone is unhappy.
    Smiles and kisses for the gift guys ladies. But do be careful. Although this was staged, we have word that the James Gang is headed this way. All they want is our valuables so trouble is yet on the horizon!
    Mary sits and sips a sarsaparilla, shakes her head and laughs out loud. Oliver winks and laughs too!

  39. I wonder if Ginger would have stuck around if she'd seen how good looking her fake attacker is. Well when she gets back with her tonic from the local carpetbagger we'll ask why.

  40. Sharon blinks so fast and hard she loses her false eyelashes. Did you say the James Gang is a comin'? I want Jessie! Grabs the sarsaparilla from Mary and slugs some back. Hey, did we ever figure out what this is the last time Ginger was here? I'm feeling kinda dizzy...plunk!

  41. Quick get help Sharon is down. Mary passes out next to her. Someone has drugged them. What's going on!!

  42. Tee hee, no-one noticed me put those knock out drops in the sarsparilla Mary and Sharon just had. That'll teach'em, make sure they get the best lookin' dude's and land me with the big ugly one - and I swear he hadn't shaved in a week!

    Lyn sniggers and walks up to the best looking of the bunch.

    "C'mon handsome, let me show you around. You hungry?"

    She gazes behind. "Hmmm - could that be the James gang, or is it just a dust storm? Well don't ya worry none, I gotta gun an' I'll protect yuh!"

  43. Sharon shoots up like the living dead. Did someone say my man Jessie's a comin round the mountain? When Mary starts to stir, Sharon knocks her out cold with the butt of her pearl-handle gun.

  44. She cold cocked me! I'll get her. Lyn you better hold me back. She gave you the ugly guy not me. Why'd you drug me and now I have a knot on my head like a golfball.

    Mary is waiting, hoping, if the James Gang shows. All hell will break loose and Jessie hates skinny women. Good luck with that willowy tramp. Hit me in the head. Mary kicks Sharon on her bubble butt and she bounces a few times before landing. Didn't we see that in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Cool!
    Mary runs as fast as she can in her boots and jeans. Heck she heads toward the dust in the distance yelling Jessie!!

  45. She's just jealous of my big boobs. They are just D, they aren't G!

  46. *Grin" Sorry, Mary, I thought you and Sharon were in it together. Never mind, you proably needed the sleep, carrying all that weight around!

  47. Lyn and Sharon cackle. See Mary run, jugs jiggling. The outlaws hoot and whistle, thinking it's their lucky day at the saddle. They get sight of this woman with D knockers on her chest and a duplicate set on her forehead. They come at the camp in utter chaos. Lyn and Sharon grab the rifles and call for Ginger and the gang. These are some burly outlaws. Holy heck, look at their gleaming eyes!

  48. You put the bumps on my forehead. Sharon,I never knew you were so rough. Man knocked out with a gun butt. She probably could have used her own butt, naw that woulda killed me. I'm not used to such violence.
    Hey, Here they come. It's the James Gang! Man they are good looking. I want that one!

  49. Wow Ginger,
    Talk about coming on the scene with guns blazing.

    Fake boobs? Mary I am shocked at suck vanity and trickery. I thought youw ere an all natural kind of gal


  50. They aren't fake. I'm too old for fake boobies. These things wouldn't be hanging so low, if they weren't real.
    I'm all natural, honest!! No even fake eyelashes. At least I don't have to pack my bra like some people do. Ahem.

  51. Hi Margaret

    welcome to Ginger's celebration. Don't take any notice of the James Gang - they're mostly harmless! LOL

    Yes we were a bit shocked about Mary, but she swears everything she has is her own. Well, I they ARE bought an' paid for, anyway! *Grin*!

  52. Guns are blazing, rifles kicking back, the cacophony is unbelievable!
    Help!!! It's crazy here! I'm afraid to lift my head. HEELLPP! We're under attack! The screams, the smoke, the awful sounds, AAAHHHH!

  53. Oh the humanities. They're real! Mary takes Lyn and shoves her face into her boobs... Lyn, shocked realizes they are real. Hmmm. Bout time. Jealousy is such a bad emotion. It's not my fault if you are flat chested!! Lay off the boobs bigfoot and BB.

  54. FIRE! Run for your lives. Sharon's butt is on fire. She backed too close and without the beeps of a backup, she caught her dress on fire! Lyn throws a pail of water at her. Hits her in the face, but does nothing for the fire. Mary pushes Sharon into a water trough to save her. Watch, she'll blame me somehow. Why didn't you stamp it out with your feet Lyn?

  55. You're a riot, Ginger! LOLOL I loved the way you began that blog. You can always get me to laugh.

    BTW, I'd like to see you riding that stallion then leaping off. LOL, I'll be there with the crew to pick up the pieces.

    Luv ya, gal.

  56. "What?" These little things? They couldn't stamp on an ant! (Not that I'd want them to!)
    An' just for the record, sweetie, I ain't jealous, in fact I rather like my slim, hourglass figure, I really wouldn't WANT to be top heavy, like some people.

    Sharon, I think you'd better get in the wagon and change that dress - there's a rather large hole in it, and it's showing your 'erm - ur- bubblebutt, dear.

  57. No but they could stamp out forest fires and maybe the whole ant colony.

    What now you are slim, please you're both plump and you know it.

    But that tear in Sharon's dress is rather comic. I never saw red and blue polka dot drawers that large and thick. Holy Cow!!
    Look out it's no, it can't be!!

  58. Hey Ginger,

    Great post! Loved it


  59. Liar liar pants on fire! My dress is no more on fire than my butt is bubblish! Just because Mary has fake hooters and Lyn is flat as a wash board is no reason to pick on poor little me and my willowy figure. Lay off. Sharon smiles at Margaret and Jannine. Cheers! Join us for a dish of Oliver's grub and some fun. Oh, but first....let me at my man Jessie James!

  60. Hi Kayden

    Welcome to the chaos -er I mean delightful sophistication - that is the Author Roast and Toast. Help yourself to virtual goodies and get Oliver to pour you some coffee - or we have something stronger if you prefer.

    Glad you enjoyed the post!

  61. I'm back from my appointment with the "snake oil salesman." OMG...I almost didn't come back. the man was gorgeous, I kid you not. He had the bluest eyes I've ever seen...almost transparent, dark hair, and if I wasn't already having irregular heart beats, he would have given them to me. But... I got new meds, an ultra sound of my heart, and fell in love...all in one appointment. So, thanks for keeping the campfire burning for me while I was gone, and welcome to those who dropped by while I was out and about.

  62. Tut tut, it's sad how jealousy takes some people I am far from flat, or fat, everyone knows I have a slim but curvy figure. Can I help it that the other two are not as blessed? It's unfortunate that one is top heavy and the other has a figure like an hourglass too - only with her, all the sand's on the bottom!

    Lyn laughs raucously, drawing admiring glances from the horses and mules hobbled nearby - they think she's one of them!

  63. Yes, Kayden, and Oliver's virtual martini bar and saloon has just opened! I'll have a Jessie James Special with two olives, if you please. Then look out, let me at 'em!

  64. Ginger, come and sit down by the campfire, I'd suggest you take your pick of the hunky outlaws that seem to have joined us - Sharon's gone runnin' after Jess James, he's fleeing for his life! *evil grin*

    As I was sayin' I'd have lined you up with one of the outlaws, but it sounds like you've already had your fix of romantic encounters. Wow, that snakeoil salesman sounds hot! He must be good, you're looking absolutely gree-aat, Ginger, I'm so glad you're feeling bette.

  65. Hi Jannine, sorry I didn't see you there by the chuckwaggon. I hope Oliver's made sure you have plenty to eat and drink. Sit down and enjoy the party.

    I see Sharon's back, she's obviously given up chasing Jesse. Oooh wait, there are two figures racing over the prairie, Jesse, hotly pursued by Mary. Poor guy!

  66. Ginger, leave it to a snake oil salesman to have the charm of one. Wow, he sounds hot! But all kidding aside, it sounds as though all worked out. So we are enjoying the celebration and keeping the outlaws at bay. What's that annoying cackle? It's just hyena Lyn rebbing up to scare off the night riders. No worries, she's harmless...

  67. Really Lyn. Did you see what you wrote? LOL Feeling Bette! Haa. Someone's been dipping into the chuck wagon spirits again, dearie! Your tongue's all twisted.

  68. That's the least of her worries. Obviousy her foggles, I mean glasses, are not strong enough to see her real body. You'd think the size 44 dress would tell her something.

    Sharon, it may take a while for you to feel the pain, with all that blubber to go through.

    Excuse me, the men can't keep their eyes off my hooters. Jealousy is so unbecoming girls.

  69. Better - Better! Sorry Ginger, I meant better!

    Ooh that Sharon, Miss Perfection - not! Notices every little slip!

    Me dipping into the spirits? As if! *hic*

  70. "Oh dear *hic* it must be all the excitement, d'you know I thought I saw the Duke riding down that hill over there!"

    Lyn points into the distance, gives another hiccup, then her slim form crumples softly to the ground.

  71. ... her tiny feet poking out from beneath the flowing, purple skirt.

  72. Is it the Duke? Quick Sharon shove her under the table. We don't want anyone to think we are lushes.
    And, no, it couldn't be, she's married?

  73. Marion! Sharon trusts herself at the Duke, stomping on Lyn and shoving Mary aside. It's the Duke, my hero!

  74. When the injuns come i'm hiding in a prarie dog hole.

  75. Lyn stretches and yawns. Ooh, do I have a headache! What a night! I think there's defnitely somethng about that Sarsparilla!

    Are we safe? Where's the Duke, Where's Sharon. Where's Olier? Oh there he is, tidying up the camp and getting some more chow on the go. What a guy! Pity nothing will tear him from Sharon's employ or I'd have him like a shot. Mind you, she has muttered about an auction in the past...

    What's that rather strong horsey aroma - uuugh it's Mary. Mary dear, I think you'd better get in the waggon and get changed,you're covered in dried horse muck and looks like we have another visitor.

    Oh, hello Jenn, welcome, oh look Oliver's just bringing you a fresh mug of coffee.

    Yep, bet the injuns won't think of looking down a prairie dog hole for you - as long as the prairie dogs don't mind, LOL!

  76. Thank you oliver, I do adore a good cup of campfire coffee. Lyn the praire dogs won't mind and if they do I'm bigger than um, I'll just shove them out and they can deal with the injuns

  77. Aw, poor li'l prairie dogs, LOL!

    Well it's looking pretty peaceful now, so I reckon you won't have to put it to the test, Jen!

  78. Sharon waves to Jen and motions for Oliver for a good cup of morning coffee. She blows a kiss to the Duke as he leaves, winking at Lyn and Mary as they openly gape. Good answer, Jen! More coffee?

  79. Sharon's nose begins to tingle and she starts sneezing. Mary, you stepped in it all right. Whew, go jump in the lake or something. Lyn, any sign of Ginger? Go make tracks with your big feet. Just watch where you step and don't follow Mary .....

  80. Sorry to leave you high and dry with all those hunky outlaws, but I decided to cozy up to the snakeoil salesman...I just couldn't resist. Actually, the odds worked against me...first I slept in too late, secondly I had to go to the "snakeoil guy" and third, I lost my internet connection. I'm not a fan of Comcast right now. They should change their "on demand" logo to "on occasion." Anyhow...I'm back on today, and I truly want to thank you wonderful ladies of Author Roast & Toast for all the hard work and time you put into making things so much fun. I think author's should be toasting you three for being so great. I love your blog and you can expect to see an accounting on my own blog in a few days..when I get my heart back in sync. New meds start Monday, so I'm taking it easy till then. Someone better pee on the campfire...it's still sizzling and the smoke just might draw some Indians down to investigate. Maybe someone with a big foot can stomp it out. *rofl*

    Love you gals!

  81. Ginger, as always, we stand in awe of you and your writing. Even with all your road blocks, you still managed to have us hanging onto our saddles and bucking with laughter. You are a delight and we love having you any time, any where! Oliver, you heard Ms. Ginger, get on it with your...ah... shall we say hose!

  82. I echo everything Sharon has said, Ginger, and hope your snake oil salesman will be able to sort you out (the heart problems I mean, of course, LOL) And ain't these newfangled computer things just the darndest pain in the butt when they go wrong!)

    It's been a real pleasure to 'roast and toast' you, and learn more about your books - and thank you for the nice compliments (we're blushing now, but grinning as well.)


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