Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else

Do you have something to celebrate? Whether it's a Birthday, New Release, or something else - Book your Celebration Roasting Bash now ! BUT FIRST PLEASE READ OLIVER'S RULES !

P
lease Note:
We don't do reviews or interviews. just virtual parties to promote your book!

As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.

This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.
Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.
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Friday, May 16, 2014

The Ten Dollar Haircut

My husband, Mr. Snark, has a mustache and beard. For a few weeks a year following his annual shave and haircut, the man is stylin'. We're talking Tom Selleck with fuzzier eyebrows--very sexy.

The rest of the time, Mr. Snark works as an extra for the Geico Cavemen...


 
So that special Sunday rolled around and it was time for the big event--Mr. Snark's Annual Haircut. After breakfast, we strapped Miss Bear into the back seat of the minivan and headed out.

Now, our town has any number of hair-cutting places, but there's also an old-fashioned barber shop that still has the red and white pole out front to let people know that they double as a dentist. For the low price of just $24.99 one can have their hair cut and a tooth extracted. 

Let's call this barber shop "Connors" for the sake of discussion.*

At Connors, a normal haircut for men runs about ten bucks. And they only accept cash. It's the cheapest haircut around for miles in every direction. 

I say it's cheap with authority. How do I know?  A few years ago, my parents moved to Arkansas because California was too expensive. However, Grandpa Snark still comes back to California to get his hair cut at Connors. 

"You can't get a haircut this cheap in Arkansas," says Grandpa Snark. "Especially when you need dental work too."

Back to our story--

Mr. Snark forgot to stop at an ATM on the way over, so he parked in a spot and turned to Mrs. Snark. "Do you have any cash?"

Mrs. Snark thought about it a second and said. "There's the emergency ten in my glove box."

After she forked over the moola, Mr. Snark frowned. "I still need a tip."

Riiight. Mrs. Snark upended her purse and examined the contents. "I have three dollars, three cents plus this breath mint."

Mrs. Snark brightened. "Oh, and a coupon for two dollars off!"

Mr. Snark accepted the coupon as if it bore cooties. "I don't know if I feel right about using a coupon for a ten dollar haircut."

"Grandpa Snark would."  

Mr. Snark went inside. Mrs. Snark and Miss Bear waited inside the vehicle with the windows up and the doors locked, because Connors is not the sort of environment where one takes an impressionable two-year-old.

Fifteen minutes later, Mr. Snark returned, hair buzzed, looking very dapper once again. He also looked rather worried.

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Snark asked.

"Have they opened a rub-n-tug in the back? Because the girl cutting my hair had on a slutty red top and I could easily imagine the words 'Me love you long time' coming from her mouth."

Mrs. Snark's eyes widened. "My goodness, it's a good thing I didn't give you an extra dollar!"

Mr. Snark forked over a crumpled bit of paper. "She also laughed at my coupon."


*Name has been changed to protect me from a libel lawsuit.

7 comments:

  1. Great post, Melissa. My hubby has a beard too - he usually visits the hairdresser about once a year - needed or not! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lyn,
      Mr. Snark's beard is more often overgrown than neat. :D

      Delete
  2. LOL..... LOL.... Too funny, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is hilarious! My husband (who's an every six-weeker) will hold off if we're going to Florida so he can go to the place that uses hot towels and, just incidentally, has a lady barber. He hasn't mentioned any slutty tops. Maybe I should ask.

    ReplyDelete
  4. lol Lizz. Hilarious piece of American reality, Missy. I wish my sarge was cheap enough to visit Connors. Unfortunately, he's even cheaper. He bought a clipper set and has absolutely no issue with my buzzing his head with the same machine that clips the dog's ass. :-/

    ReplyDelete

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