Mary teeters on high platform sandals. The multi-layered skirt twirls about her hips accented by the embroidered white peasant blouse highlighting her rounded shoulders.
“I’m gonna kill myself in these,” she groans. “How’d I ever let you talk me into wearing these?”'
“You look absolutely terrific!” Lyn spins around, the ruffled red skirt flaring. She lets her black blouse slide just a few inches lower. “We’re going to a fiesta in the hottest salsa club in town and we need to look sexy!”
“I love salsa,” Patsy twitches her slit thigh-revealing skirt. “Especially on chips!”
“It isn’t that kind of salsa,” Mac laughs as she adjusts the satin sash tied around her slim waist. She adjusts the camisole-style blouse. “It’s a place where they dance to the beat of what is called ‘salsa.’”
“Andale! Andale!” Mary waves her hands. “Yeehaaa, this is going to be so terrific!”
“I’ve never been to a fiesta or a salsa club before.” Lyn motions the ladies to follow as she steps through the doorway and into the cantina.
A smiling attendant takes Nibby’s leash. “No pets allowed.” Hampy, Foster and Cuddles disappear into the crowd as Nibby strains to join them.
“This looks just like Casa Bonita in Denver,” Patsy gasps. “I love that place. I wonder if they have cliff divers here?”
“I don’t think anyone would be foolish enough to cliff dive in here,” Mac says. “Might end up with a really flat head since there aren’t any pools to land in.”
Mary’s lips form a pout. “Crapola! I thought it would be really cool.”
Hips gyrating to the music, a handsome Hispanic male wiggles his way across the floor to the women. Black curly hair brushes the collar of his silk shirt. White teeth flash beneath a pencil thin mustache. Dark eyes of liquid chocolate skim each woman, a sparkle of appreciation lingering in the warm depths.
“Hola, bonita senoras!” He offers an arm bent at the elbow. “Which of you maravilloso senoras will honor me with a dance!”
Mary shoves Mac forward. “Take her! Take her! She knows what she’s doing.”
Mac stumbles backwards, eyes wide with surprise. “I’m…I’m…” she stutters.
“Carlos,” Tiffany materializes from the throng. She is a vision in a black torso-hugging sheath with a flaring skirt. “Leave them be! Give them a chance to catch their breaths and have a few mojitos before you steal them away for el romance.”
Patsy tosses her head, dark hair whipping. “I’d love to dance, Carlos!” She strolls to the drink bar and tosses back several shots of tequila, the muscles of her arms bulging with power. “Now, I’m ready.”
“Will you look at that?” Lyn whispers staring at Carlos. “He’s eating it up!”
“I think it’s the hot Latin blood or something,” Mac mutters. “I’ve heard that somewhere.”
Among the throng of dancers, Patsy and Carlos are bumping and grinding to the heady beat of the music.
Mary’s eyes practically bug out! “They certainly look like they’re having fun!”
“You should try it,” Tiffany’s black fan swirls the air. “Nothing like it. All that heat and the drumming, really energizes the old libido.”
Lyn dabs her forehead with a handkerchief. “I think my libido is about as charged as it needs to be.”
Mary grabs a Corona. “Here,” she shoves the bottle at Mac. “Drink this!”
Patsy races through the crowd, grabs Mac around the waist and squeezes. “Whatever it is Mac, I’ll get it out of you!”
“No! No!” Mac cries. “I’m not choking that way! The salsa’s just too spicy hot!”
Carlos saunters up. “You are all spicy hot! I’m spicy hot,” he smirks, licking his full red lips. “Who wants to dance?”
“I think the ladies want to refresh themselves.” Tiffany waves them towards a reserved table. “Make yourself comfortable my friends. The night has just begun!”
Welcome to your Roast Tiffany and before the festivities start, let's hear an excerpt from 'the Accidental Cougar'
“Sopes,” Wil said. “King Taco has the best ones around here. Think of a pancake. It’s like a thick pancake made out of cornmeal, topped with any kind of meat you want—Carne asada, cabeza, carnitas, lengua—”
“Hang on, you lost me. What is cabeza and lengua?”
“Cabeza is…” Wil paused, thinking. “It’s not brains; it’s more like the muscles of the cow’s head.”
Nicole stared at him, her stomach beginning to turn. “And lengua?” she asked, although she was sure she didn’t want to know.
“Tongue.”
“The only tongue I want in my mouth, Wil, is yours, okay? What about chicken? Do they have chicken?”
Wil chuckled. “Of course they do, silly. So you have meat and refried beans, topped with shredded cabbage,cotija cheese and salsa. Damn, I’m starving.” He pulled into a parking space as soon as a van pulled out of it.
Nicole groaned. “No salsa, please.”
Wil came around and helped her out of the car. “Don’t worry, they have salsa for amateurs.”
Tiffany N. York lives in southern California with her spirited son, diva Chihuahua, three to five cats (depending on the day), and two very noisy parakeets. She writes fiction to escape reality. You can visit her website at tiffanynyorkauthor.com
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Tiffany N. York lives in southern California with her spirited son, diva Chihuahua, three to five cats (depending on the day), and two very noisy parakeets. She writes fiction to escape reality. You can visit her website at tiffanynyorkauthor.com
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***GIVEAWAY***
To win a copy of Tiffany's book, all you have to do is just leave a comment and your e-mail address.
Contest ends on Sunday and everyone who comments is eligible.
Welcome to your Roast Tiffany, and congratulations on the release of 'Accidental Cougar'. From the excerpt it looks like a sizzling good read!
ReplyDeleteHola Senoras! Como estas! Wonderful party! Love the concept of the novel, Tiffany, and what a great place to have a party. Love to dance and this seems like the perfect place.
ReplyDeleteHiya chickies and congrats Tiffany. Love the excerpt. Accidental Tourist sounds like a fun ride. What a great idea for a party! I'm still laughing. (Remind me sometime to tell you about an experience I had with chiles rellenos in a little place in Playa Bonita Mexico.)
ReplyDeleteForget about a cup of coffee this morning. Who wants to start this day off with a mojito instead?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for roasting me today! I just hope I don't get a little sloppy. I can't really hold my liquor.
Mac's had one too many already.(Elbows her) It's The Accidental Cougar...Accidental Tourist is that (ahem) bestselling book they made into a movie.
Good day sister hostesses, or should I say 'Buenos Diaz' (I theenk that's right) What a great day for a party and don't we all look good in our salsa gear, especially Tiffany.
ReplyDelete*Hick* LOL caught that did you, Tiffany? Sheesh I think I need a catscan!
ReplyDeleteor perhaps a strong black coffee, LOL!
ReplyDeleteLOL That too. Phew. I just raced back to everywhere I promoted today's party. Apparently I'm only stupid here. ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's the tequila.
I thought we were saving the tequila shots until later, Mac! You didn't drink the worm, did you? They say you hallucinate after you drink the worm!
ReplyDeleteCarlos has been showing me some salsa moves. Here, let me show you: (Proceeds to step backward and in the process, steps on Lyn's toes.)
"Pardon me, sorry."
Takes two steps forward and turns, smacking into Mac.
Sigh. Perhaps I should practice some more.
*Links her arm with Tiffany's* I'll practice with you. We don't want Patsy hogging Carlos.
ReplyDeleteSalsa for amateurs. Haw, haw! Love it! Quite fancying a dance with spicy hot Carlos, too! Good luck, Tiffany! Love the title! :) xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Sheryl! Show us some of your moves--they're sure to be better than mine!
ReplyDelete(tilts head looking at Carlos' murderously tight pants) "Umm, Patsy, I don't think Carlos is wearing any underwear. What do you think?"
*winks at Sheryl* That Carlos is a spicy flash of heat isn't he? Welcome to the party.
ReplyDeleteOh my, Patsy, he's not wearing any drawers!
ReplyDeleteI can see...well he's a keeper.
I wish he had a buddy! These shoes are just killing me, how can you dance in them, I can barely walk! I think I'd better check on Nibbie.Wait she's under the table with Mac, he musta snuck her there. She's licking legs as people walk by, look at that woman she has no clue. No Nibs don't eat the shoes!
Hi Sheryl, how nice to see you here!
ReplyDeletehmm, did I see Carlos wink at you just now?
Yikes Tiffany, I couldn't touch tequila, the thought of swallowing the worm gives me the shudders.
Worm, your supposed to swallow the worm! Yikes!!
ReplyDelete*she tosses back another shot of tequila - the eyes cross*
ReplyDeleteHola - Again! Nice to see the group. You guys can have Carlos for awhile. I need to cool down. *she fans her breast...er...face* Way too much heat in this place!
Hey Patsy, I'll take him, I can't dance, but...
ReplyDeleteLOL Tiffany, I just realised you stepped on my feet. Don't worry, I have to pad my shoes with newspaper because the other hostesses always force me to wear shoes ten sizes too big for me!
ReplyDeleteTime to put those size fifteens to work, Lyn. *snickers and pulls her toward the dance floor where Mary wiggles to the Latin beat, leading a conga line*
ReplyDeleteDenial ain't just a river in Egypt Lyn, those clothoppers are pretty, but gigantic. I have to hold the girls whilst I conga. I don't care. It's all me! No plastic, no surgery, although a lift couldn't hurt. Can't go braless or there'd be a lot of bouncing.
ReplyDeleteGreat roast! Way too much fun. Thanks for the giggles, ladies. Best of luck to you, Tiffany!
ReplyDelete~Donna
Tiff becomes completely uninhibited after a few mojitos and a shot of tequila. She can't resist the immediate rush of lust that has overtaken her while admiring Carlos and his deep penetrating dark eyes, dark complexion and rather obvious other attribute. She rushes across the floor, cuts in front of 3 other admiring women, grabs Carlos's hand and hauls him out to the floor. Only then does she realize she has had too much to drink and really can't Salsa...
ReplyDeleteLet's get Tiffany back, before she gets into trouble. Girls, are we ready! Lyn you stomp anyone who tries to stop us. Mac, you head them off at the door, Patsy well, you have the muscles. Me, I will cushion her if she falls. Oh wait, she went willingly??? Carlos come back with Tiffany! This is her party after all!!!
ReplyDeleteWait, is it Carlos making off with Tiff or is she the one dragging him?
ReplyDeleteReluctantly, Tiff returns to her party after much coercion and a promise from Carlos that he will be waiting for her afterwards at his place.
ReplyDeleteLet's start that conga line again, pass the mead, oh wait, is it mead, or moyotos, whatever you call those things, I'm feelin' tipsy. Mary falls into the punchbowl and Mac and Lyn pull her out before she drowns. Patsy, well she's still looking for the underwear...
ReplyDeleteThis looks like way too much fun. Today is my birthday so I'm joining this party!! Thanks for the laughs, ladies:):)
ReplyDeleteAll right, now I'm ready to do some shots to numb the pain of my throbbing feet. And stomach--I think I ate too many beans. (Whoops, sorry girls)
ReplyDeleteWho's ready to pound some shots down with me? Mary? No, wait, you've had enough, I think. You're looking a little sticky.
Christine!!!!!! It's your birthday! Happy Birthday! Christine will do shots with me--one for every year (I hope you're not over 20)!
ReplyDeleteAllow me to introduce you to Carlos. He starts looking even better after 5 shots...
Tiff's ideal man!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday. I can't help it, this drink si soo gud. I tink I need to sit, Mary passes out and Lyn almost chokes as she snorts her drink up her nose. Need some help here, gotta put her in a chair.
ReplyDeleteMary moans,no problem leave me here, I' fine.
Shew I don't know if I'm drinking mead or tequilla (and it takes a lot for me to confuse the taste of mead, I can tell you.
ReplyDeleteBill - Bill I think you're starting to look even better than Carlos, come here dear man, let's chat. Hi Donna,glad you could come to Tiffany's partym Hi Christine, Happy Birthday to yoooo, happy birfday to yooo, happy birfday, happy *hic8 day, happy birthday to you!
*throws back another shot and glances around at Mary, Patsy and Tiffany passed out at a table, then grabs a platter of fried ice cream and takes a chair*
ReplyDeleteBunch of lightweights. Well, who's going to help me eat this? I don't want to end up with brain freeze.
Ice cream? Mary picks herself up, puts the girls back in place. And grabs a spoon! Let me at it!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the brain freeze will sober me up?
Ice cream? Did someone mention icecream? MMMMMM love the stuff!
ReplyDeleteLyn- glad I'm starting to look better than Carlos to one of you ladies! I think you're hot so how about we head over to my place for dessert ;)
ReplyDeleteTiff is passed out for awhile and won't miss us for a few hours! Carlos disappeared with Mac in the back room too so we have time!
Tiffany bolts upright as soon as the mariachis start playing right next to her ear.
ReplyDelete"Did somebody say ice cream?"
(rubs head because it's pounding now.)
Mac, pass the hot fudge sauce, Patsy, no spinach, but I'll take the whipped cream and Lyn no one puts mead on ice cream...
ReplyDeleteTiff, no Carlos on the ice cream either!
Bill, here's yours, Lyn is an innocent, she will only lead you on!
So here, have some ice cream...
Story of my life! Got cherries and whipped cream for the ice cream?
ReplyDeleteTiff- wipe the corner of your mouth...sheesh :)
OH OH - Lyn's been partaking a little too much of the mojitos or Dos Equis or maybe even the Corona! Me, I'm steady on my feet *she totters and falls to the ground, jumping immediately to her feet*
ReplyDeleteOoops! High place in the floor. Mary, where's this Bill guy. Carlos deserted me for Mac!
He had hoped to convince one of you charming ladies to go to Vegas for the weekend. But, I couldn't compete with Carlos so I headed off by myself. Maybe I'll have better luck there. Ya'll have fun and keep Tiff out of mischief!
ReplyDeleteOh Bill, Bill dont't go - don't you know a lady has to take a little time and not appear tyoo forward, let me just finish this ice cream *slurp* I've thunk, I mean thought! I've never seen Las Vegas!
ReplyDeleteLost your chance girls, he left with a blonde...Story of my life.
ReplyDeleteCarlos has too many ladies after him, any others left?? :0(
When I'm back in town again Lyn I'll definitely look you up! You look like the shy introspective type that I'd love to get to know. Watching Tiff and the others fall all over themselves at Carlos's self promotion is a little much for us " boy next door" types.
ReplyDeleteOh, Lyn, you got a hit.
ReplyDeleteBoy next door could work, he's be close anyway.
Carlos, well he can't help it.
Me I'm sticking with Nibbie. Come on Nibbler, let's untie you and go home for the night. No dogs allowed. Yet a unicorn and a faery got in. Not to mention a Hampster. Geez, poor dog.
Time to nap off the mojitos!
Aw poor Nibbie, she's just too big to sneak in, that's the trouble.
ReplyDeleteBill you can look me up any time, I'm a 'girl next door' type myself, as long as you like dogs and horses I reckon we'd get on like a house on fire, and I'm sure you could help me overcome my shyness! :)
Well, it's nearing the witching hour over here, so I'll find somewhere quiet to take a nap. Tiffany, you've been a fantastic guest - carry on partying as long as you like, we'll keep the party going over the weekend as long as we have visitors!
You ladies and gent have been wonderful! And Carlos was especially, er, accomodating. Even though my feet, tummy, and head hurt now from all the dancing, food, and drink (burp), it will certainly be a day to remember!
ReplyDeleteGracias!
The mojitos are great in Vegas but alas my new found love Lyn isn't here! At least I don't have Carlos flaunting himself...
ReplyDeleteOkay, bring on the ice cream, Baileys and coffee. I want to hear what REALLY happened in the back room. As a matter of fact, now I know how the accident happened to the cougar!
ReplyDeleteHi Rolynn, thanks so much for stopping by, Baileys and coffee for you coming up!
ReplyDeleteBill *blows kiss* you will always find me at the Roast - often snoozing in a corner with my little Unicorn.
ReplyDeleteWe;re glad we were able to be part of your release day Tiffany, thanks for introducing us to the fun and frolics of a hot Salsa club and we wish you
ReplyDeletemany, many sales of 'The Reluctant Cougar'
Whoops I'm doing it now! I meant 'Accidental Cougar'!
ReplyDeleteLooking mighty fine there ladies!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary, welcome to Tiffany's party. Do help yourself to refreshments!
ReplyDeleteWaves to Rolynn and Mary. This cougar feels like a wet pussycat this morning, but I've brought us all a huge pot of Menudo--the greatest cure for a hangover. It's a traditional Mexican soup made with beef stomach, hominy, and lottsa onions and chili peppers.
ReplyDeleteBut boy, does it make you sweat. Whew! Where's Carlos to fan me?
Carlos, left with Patsy. Wonder if he'll come back. Patsy, you devil you. Lyn, bill is looking for you. Mac, guess we'll have to go through the weekend alone. Any mojitos left?
ReplyDeleteI'll just take Nibbie and go for a long walk, after I remove these shoes anyhow. Wonder why the Jessie never showed? Oh, well, win some, lose some. At least I got a good book to read, good luck Tiff! Sell a ton!
LOL! I love the line about the tongue! Who couldn't fall in love with a book like this? Best of luck Tiffany but I'm betting you're not going to need it. ESPECIALLY with this sassy bunch of senoritas helping you out! :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Maeve. Great that you could pop in and join the fun.
ReplyDeleteBefore I leave to go after the delectable Bill I'll have a slurp of - oh wait - beef stomach, perhaps I'll give the menudo a miss after all!:) Have fun ladies, don't worry, Mary, Jesse might show up yet.
*Whisper* Humour her Tiffany, she fancies Jesse James, even though he's been dead over a hundred years!
Lyn- you are an innocent...lol. Jesse as in Jesse James is a biker with tats all over him. I'm still in Vegas checking out a lady playing the piano. Kinda has that reserved librarian look. Can't compete with you though.
ReplyDeleteTiff- guess I missed something...after we hauled you back from trying to drag poor unsuspecting Carlos off you passed out! While you were out Carlos was with both Patsy and Mac in the back room. Being a gentleman I didn't inquire about what might have transpired.
When you finally woke up, looking somewhat worse for wear, Carlos was off flaunting himself with with some other hotties. Lyn and I did notice you smiling and grinning a few times with your head on the table. Perhaps you were dreaming about Carlos? Dreams can sometimes be better than reality :)
Kisses to Lyn!
Duh, you mean The Duke rides around with a biker? Who'd've thought it? (Jesse usually turns up at the Roast with The Duke - as in John Wayne!)
ReplyDeleteAw you say the sweetest things, dear heart, so I'll excuse you checking out the lady playing the piano, I'm sure it's all in the line of duty!
You're right - Tiffany did have a lovely smile on her face, as you say dreams are good - it's what keeps us writers writing!
Lyn blushes furiously, looks around to make sure no-one's watching and blows a big kiss back at Bill.
ReplyDeleteHi, Maeve--thanks for stopping by! Would you like a shot of tequila?
ReplyDeleteMy hangover's all gone, so I'm ready to paaar-ty! Ariba, andole, brrrrrrriiiiccaaa! I figured out a new way of doing shots..."Carlos, come here and lie down."
Pours salt on Carlos' rock-hard washboard abs, licks off salt, pounds the shot, sucks on a piece of lime for dear life.
Mary, if you swallow the worm I can almost guarantee you'll see Jesse! You may even see two of them.
Chip, anyone?
I'm late (as usual) but AY CARUMBA what a party! Thanks for the invitation ladies! You book sounds like my childhood, Tiffany. It was normal to be served menudo, beef tongue, chicken feet (this one grossed me out) and any number of Mexican dishes when I stayed with my aunt who married an Hispanic railroad worker. I never ate cow brains or muscles, but my gramma did make an egg dish with pig brains when we butchered our first hog. Bleh! :)
ReplyDeleteWow! You ladies really know how to throw a party. I'm gettin' tipsy just reading the comments.
ReplyDeleteTiffany, good luck with your novel, it looks like a delightful read, and it's definitely going on my TBR list. Hic! (Excuse me.)
So glad you could make it, Calisa and Evelyn! Ah yes, the food...My neighbor just had me try a taco with beef brains. It was difficult to get past the idea of it. And the texture. Quite chewy.
ReplyDelete"Evelyn, can you play the maracas? Here, catch!" (Throws her 2 maracas) It's okay if you can't keep a beat. I don't think it much matters with them.
Hey, where did that parrot come from? Are those naughty words I hear him saying in Spanish?
Hi Calissa and Evelyn, glad you're enjoying Tiffany's party.
ReplyDeleteTiffany - I think you need to share your hangover cure. If you can recover looking like that - Aye, aye, aye, the hostesses want it bad! :)
Now that it's Sunday I'm sober again. A huge thank you to the wonderful hostesses who threw me this crazy Mexican fiesta--Patsy, Mac, Lyn, and Mary--You ladies rock!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks to everyone who visited and helped me celebrate. Your support means everything!
Adios amigas and amigos (Bill and Carlos)!
I love that title - The Accidental Cougar. The food and beer presentations are equally engaging. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteHi Howard, thanks so much for stopping by - you're right, that's a great title, isn't it!
ReplyDeleteHola Howard! You made it. Good to see you here. We still have leftovers--at a Mexican fiesta, you never run out of food or drink.
ReplyDelete