Author Roast and Toast should happen to fall on a day custom designed to fit the personalities of four zany hostesses with mischief up their sleeves.
It’s Rib Tickling!
It’s Electric
And More Fun Than A Barrel full of Monkeys
It’s April Fool’s Day
And today we are down in the heart of Texas for a sizzling barbecue with Linda Yezak to celebrate
Give the Lady a Ride
So saddle up, settle down for some good ol’ boy fun and join us for an April Fool’s Day celebration!
Warm sunshine blazes through a canopy of pecan trees, reflecting on the duck pond in a kaleidoscope of sparkling gemstones. Spring is in the air. The Texas fields are alive with vividly budding bluebells and wild flowers. Love doves coo peacefully from a grove of willowy evergreens shading the picnic tables.
Happy as larks, the hostesses, donned in plaid shirts, denim overalls, snake skin boots and cowgirl hats, sing along to the song of the mockingbird. A bald eagle swoops overhead, its massive span of wings arched in a graceful bow across azure blue skies. The bulls kick up their hooves in the corral, tails swaying in the breeze.
Oliver, looking ruggedly handsome in jeans, Western shirt and Stetson sexily dipped over one eye, whistles as he grills baby back ribs in a charcoal pit, along with barbecued chicken, burgers and hot dogs. The grill spits with a sizzling aroma as it billows upward in a. mouth watering aroma of smoke.
The girls arrange heaping platters of potato salad, cole slaw, steaming pans of red beans and rice and buttery loaves of cornbread, in a tent.
Coolers of soda, sparkling water and sweet tea are on either side of the Italian cream cake. They set baskets of tortilla chips and Texas red sauce on picnic tables, along with bowls of freshly picked pecans and dried fruit.
“What a gorgeous day,” Sharon smiles, her eyes fixed on a flock of mockingbirds gathering together in the pecan trees. “Just because it’s April Fool’s Day is no reason to think the birds will attack as a joke, right?”
“Don’t be silly,” Lyn’s belly laugh echoes a croaking bull frog as it splashes into tduck pond. “You really must dish your bird fetish, sweetie. It’s getting to be a bigger problem than your bubble butt.”
“Yeah,” Mary chortles, unbuttoning a few hooks on her blouse to expose her ample cleavage. “When are y’all gonna can your Alfred Hitchcock phobia?”
“I dunno,” AJ peers upward, adjusting her hat to tame her birds nest of hair as the mockingbird glares at her. “She might be onto something.”
Lyn shrieks with laughter clean down to her size 12 clodhoppers. “It was just a movie, nothing to be such a scaredy cat about. Such a silly goose. Hey, y’all need something to get your mind off the birds. While we’re waiting for Linda to arrive, what’s say we try our luck at bull riding! Who’s in?”
The girls scream in unison, kicking up dust as they race to the pen. “All for one and one for all!”
Just as the ranch hands get the girls straddled on the bucking bulls, a red bellied woodpecker begins to wildly drill into the bark of the pecan tree, followed by the screech of a long horned owl. The mallard ducks squawk and splash in the water. Bulls, sensing danger a split second before a flock of black billed mockingbirds swoop down with a thundering flap of wings, buck back on hind legs, sending the Four Musketeers flying through the air. With a sonic boom that quakes the earth, the girls smack the ground.
The squabbling birds attack Sharon first, perching themselves on her butt as she lay sprawled prostrate. A mean bird with a shrill cry mistakes AJ’s hair for a nest and lands in it, pecking at her head. Lyn’s boots fly off, leaving her huge toes naked and bare. The birds thrash and peck at them, showing no mercy. More gather with all the commotion, snatching Mary’s hooters right from under her nose.
Suddenly, above all the screaming, gunfire explodes in the sky, followed by a stampede of horses comin’ ‘round the mountain. The birds take flight with a flap of wings. Leading the pack, dressed like Annie Oakley in red leather gauchos, crisp white blouse, matching snake skin boots and hat, Linda fires her pearl handled pistol into the air.
Yee haaaaaw!
The hostesses, pick themselves up by the boot strings, go running to greet their guest. More guests ride in on Linda’s heels. Could it be or is it an April Fool’s prank? The girls rub their eyes as none other than The Duke and The James Gang escort lovely Linda into the barbecue!
Who’s behind the masks? Answer for a chance to win a prize by Linda. Party on!
Back cover copy:
Patricia Talbert is a high-class social coordinator from New York.
Talon Carlson is a rugged bull rider from Texas.
He thinks she’s too polished.
She thinks he’s insane.
Opposites aren’t quick to attract when the lady who enters the cowboy’s world is on a mission to sell the ranch. But a box of letters changes her mission–letters of unshakable faith and a love deeper than anything she’s ever experienced.
Soon she finds his integrity appealing. Her spunk draws him in. He has the faith she craves; she may be the love he longs for. But faith and love aren’t achieved in a single weekend.
To buy time to explore the possibilities between them, she issues a challenge: “Teach me to ride bulls.”
Two-time ACFW Genesis finalist Linda Yezak resides in the state of Texas, where tall tales abound and exaggeration is an art form. Aside from being a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), she also belongs to Women Writing the West (WWW) and The Christian PEN. She lives in the heart of a forest with her husband, three cats, four ducks, and a pond full of fish.
ISBN: 9781935600190
http://lindayezak.com .
Welcome to your Barbeque Roast, Linda and congratulations on your book. 'Give The Lady A Ride' sounds like a wonderful read.
ReplyDeleteIt's April the 1st, so be prepared for all sorts of mischief and pranks - but most of all enjoy this special Barbeque celebration,
Tell ya what: I'm a good shot, but if y'all want me to get rid of those pesky birds, I'll have to go back for my shotgun!
ReplyDeleteThe meal looks great! I could sink my teeth into some of that for breakfast!
I wonder if Michael's gonna remember the chips and salsa or if JoAnn is bringing the potato salad.
Squeeee! Can't wait to get started!!!
Great food, great fellowship! Party on!
ReplyDeleteSheila, glad you stopped by! I imagine most folks are still hitting their coffee this morning. The fun will crank up as the day goes on.
ReplyDeleteWe'll turn this into a traditional Texas party with 42 tables set up for the old folks (like me) and mutton rides for the little britches. All we'll need is a band for tonight's dance under the stars!
Woo-hoo! What fun! I'm in for the Ride! Yay!
ReplyDeleteHugs and air kisses, Lyn sweetie. Cool bird feeders on your feet. Oh, those are your feet, Sharon swats at her rump. Me thinks we have a problem, HOUSTON!
ReplyDeleteHi Sheila, hi Lynn.
ReplyDelete*Lyn waves and gestres to them to help themselves to stuff off the barbeque.*
Then she rushes over and hugs her fellow hostess.
Hello Sharon sweetie. Now don't you be mean to those poor little birdies, you cna't blame them for thinking your bubble butt is one gigantic feedball put out specially for them! You do look funny with them all pecking at your 'sit-upon' though! Oh, all right, I'll ask Oliver if he has any stale bread and see if I can lure them away!
Welcome to Linda's barbecue, Sheila! Grab some grub. Oliver will be along as soon as he builds the scare crow!
ReplyDeleteThat's good, right there at the entrance, Oliver, just under that grove of pecan trees. See the scary crow, birdies. Fly away!
ReplyDeleteKisses Mary and AJ! Mary, the bald headed eagle perched on AJ's head is sitting on your boobs. Do you think they'll hatch?
ReplyDeleteWelcome lynnmosher! Yes, what fun here at Linda's roast. Stick arounsd, eat drink and be merry
ReplyDeleteWell, it's illegal to shoot a mockingbird in Texas, but what y'all are describing sounds like grackles and starlings. I have no qualms about blastin' those flying poop grenaders out of the sky!
ReplyDeleteAw poor li'l birdies! Starlings are supposed to be an endangered species in the UK, but you'd never know it to see them swarming in great clouds in the sky.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, I love my sweet hostess-sisters to bits, but really you can't take them anywhere without them causing a commotion! Good job I'm able to remain staid and sensible and keep 'em in order! :) 'Course I'm the only one of the four who looks completely normal!
Anyway Linda, I love the premise of your book. Any chance of a short excerpt?
LOL Linda, y'all are so funny and fit right in with all the zaniness. It's April Fool's Day after all. Please, read an excerpt for us.
ReplyDeleteAn excerpt will be upcoming--soon as we get Ma home from the doc's!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I had a friend ask for vegan food. Uhhhhh--don't know how to accommodate her, unless I throw a little spritz of oil and vinegar on some hay.
That thar grub looks scrumptious. And Linda looks fabulous in those chaps! ;)
ReplyDeleteLadies, ladies, got the scarey crow hung. No, bad birdie, not on my shoulder, I'm the butler and I didn't do it!
ReplyDeleteY'all look so lovelty, Linda, allow me to fill your platwe. And there are plenty of salad greens, veggiee pizza and stuffed mushrooms and shrimp cocktail! Dig in
Kisses, Sharon, Lyn, Mary and AJ. I'm doing my best to shoo them away! BAD BIRDIES
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Linda's party, K.M. How 'bout a rib ticklin' rib, wink wink while we wait for a teaser from Give the Lady a Ride.
ReplyDeleteKatie--don't you just love those gauchos? The ladies dressed me up nice, didn't they?!
ReplyDeleteLyn runs up and kisses Oliver on the cheek.
ReplyDeleteLOL Oliver, I think you're too good looking to scare them much!
I knew you'd have some veggie fare for Linda's friend! You never get caught out do you!
Veggie Pizza and mushrooms! I love those too! Oliver thought of everything!
ReplyDeleteDoing this on the Blackberry is going to be a challenge! Dusty (my ma) says she's so sorry she got sick and took me from the party.
ReplyDeleteBut she's getting hungry--she wants pork ribs, sausage, and brisket, with cole slaw, red beans, and potato salad. She doesn't sound all that sick, does she?
Oliver blushes and takes a sweeping bow
ReplyDeleteWow, I reckon thatr was a quick recovery for your ma, Linda. Perhaps Dusty was just having a wee April 1st joke on you!
ReplyDeleteMary comes back. The eagle that landed on her hooter scared her so bad she ran all the way to El Paso!!
ReplyDeleteGeez Oliver I'm here you know. I coulda used a bit of help with that bird it musta weighed 90 lbs or more!
I had to run along as he flapped his huge wings. I almost was flying!!
I need a drink. Any sarsaparilla around? Need to wet my whistle.
I'm rather parched. And I brought my rifle water gun. HeHe! Mary sprays Sharon and Lyn chuckling as they lift their eyebrows. LOL Gotcha!
Y'all DO have some pork ribs cookin' in a pit, don'tchya? Pork's my favorite barbeque, and to be at it's best, it has to be cooked in a pit. Yum! Love that pit barbeque!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the roast, Linda! And best wishes for success with Give the Lady a Ride!
Hope Dusty is feeling better. Maybe she just needs a nice dish of potato salad? I made it today. Oliver didn't like it. He says I'm messy. But he let me do it. So I made my famous recipe for it... Yummy. It can cure anything!!! No it won't grow hair on your chest. But maybe Sharon's famous mushrooms will if you want some there. (HehHeh!)
ReplyDeleteDon't know but I think that there is a tray of stuffed mushrooms on your butt Sharon. Did you forget them. Mary takes the huge platter off of Sharon's (cute) bubble butt and passes it around. Suddenly everyone starts to grow massive amounts of fuzzy hair on their chests. Kinda like Tami's hair. Lyn, I am so glad I didn't taste them. Look at all the hair on your chest. Covers your tiny boobies!
Yeah, Dusty's a hoot. Her body may be weak, but her sense of humor isn't!
ReplyDeleteHeckuva run to El Paso! Hope the return trip is a safe one. I"ll shoo away the eagles.
Tommie's after my heart with that love of bbq pork!!!
Please Linda help me with this eagle he keeps trying to grab my... Well you know.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you brought Dusty to the party. I used my teletransporter to get to El Paso and back so quickly.
I love my gadgets, though Lyn has to teach me to use them!!
You may need that shotgun. My water pistol one didn't do a thing!!
Oh my Linda darling - you have stunning hair! **hides a bird under her hair**
ReplyDeleteLinda honey - you tell your ma that she is more than welcome here with us. We all take care of our own, now she has some more daughters. Think she might wanna braid this mop of mine? My mom never would for some reason.
ReplyDeleteCome on y'all - where's the music? I wanna dance!
ReplyDeleteHi Linda, I need to go trade my running shoes for my cowgirl boots . . . and I'm hungry after looking at all that scrumptious food! Congratulations on your book! It look awesome!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteVictoria honey **reaches in her hat** here's a pair of boots just your size. I keep nearly everything in my nest. :)
ReplyDeleteAlrighty y'all. If you forgive the fact I'm using a tiny screen and a tinier keyboard, I'll give ya something to read:
ReplyDelete"Are we going to the arena tonight?" Marie called through the bathroom door.
"I thought the rodeo was beneath you," Patricia answered.
"Don't hold my ignorance against me. I didn't know how much fun it would be." Marie poked her head out and grinned. "Besides, Chance beat Talon last night. I want to watch him do it again."
"You just want to watch him."
"Yeah. What's your point?" Marie closed herself inside the bathroom again. "Nothing like a denim-clad distraction to make this trip seem worthwhile."
Didn't you hear Billy Rae singing Achy Breaky Heart? The geeks are there line dancing!!
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's Leanne Rhimes. She's singing one of my favorite songs. What Do I Do Without You!
Now for the cool people there's Mick over by the corral. Yippie Aye Oh Kayhee! I think!
Reading over for now. Time to try some bull riding! Anyone game? :D
ReplyDeleteI'm game to try bull-riding, but I don't know if my back will hold out! LOL.
ReplyDeleteYa'll, this here book is one splendid Texas feast. Git yerself some and be quick about it!
And now...
**Gimps out of the arena with one hand pressed to her thrown-out back.**
What a great excerpt, Linda, this book sounds great! Who wouldn't love ma denim-clad bullrider!
ReplyDeleteTalking of which, i'll come and do some bull riding with you - though bucking horses are really more my line (ask my paint mare, T'pau!) LOL
Hi Victoria, don't just look at the food, get stuck in! Oliver will probably be around to put some more on the barbie in a minute, but I think Sharon's sent him off to get the band organised for the dancing tonight!
Hi Lynnette - here borrow these oversize boots the sisters make me wear - they'll be good support for your back!
ReplyDeleteOK ladies, if y'all simmer down, heere's a nice pitcher of home made rootbeer. Y'all look so pretty and hot in your riding chaps, might I be so bold to say. Linda, here we go, icy cold and full of fizz. and of course one for you, Dusty love. But surely y'all can't be Linda's mama. I do declare, y'all could be sisters
ReplyDeleteLinda, wonderful reading, and so happy your mama is doing better. Sharon hugs them both. Just beware of the birds. And don't get too close to AJ. she's a walking, talking bird's nest.
ReplyDeleteAir kisses, AJ, no need to get too close, really. The eagle has landed!
ReplyDeleteLyn, nice bird baths on your boats, look at them flap their wings.
ReplyDeleteMary, how'd the Duke get your hooters
ReplyDeleteThe Duke is only 21, I gave them to him. What the heck! You only get to neck with the Duke at that age, here!
ReplyDeleteDon't lend your shoes to other people Lyn. They might get lost in them. Ha!!!
The Duke is holding my hooters while I ride a bucking broncho. Just imagine if someone didn't hold them!!!
Lynnette-thanks for the plug! Now go bathe in Aspercream so you won't hurt so bad.
ReplyDeleteOliver--Rootbeer is Dusty's favorite! Between that and you flirting with her, she may start to feeling better just so she can show you how well she is at roping!
Lyn--I'll saddle up a mustang for ya so you can show us what a good bronc buster you are!
Sharon--I'm going to set up a giant bird cage in the corral and we'll shoo all the offending feather toters in there!
Thanks, the girls all make fu of me but since I was a little girl and saw gasp the Birds, developed a bird phobia
ReplyDeleteLOL See how scared I am. I'm a stuttering fool. I meant they make fun of me.
ReplyDeleteHere's a clip for ya:
ReplyDeleteThe sudden silence in the truck sparked with electricity. The hair on the nape of Patricia's neck prickled as she felt everyone's eyes boring into her. Even though it was how she felt at the moment, she couldn't believe she'd just called her hosts Neanderthals.
Reads well, like a romance. Can't wait to read some more of it. Wonder if your bbq is beef or REAL bbq- pork! We have it good where I'm from!
ReplyDeleteBTW, Sharon Hitchcock movies can scar ya for life! I know folks who are still afraid to take showers!
ReplyDeleteI guess all that music at once was kinda makin' my head scramble. :)
ReplyDeleteI thought I was hearing the birds in my hair. Are they still there?
Do you think that bull riding will get rid of the birds?
ReplyDeleteI don't think Mary or Sharon should try. I think that might make a HUGE problem. :)
Jim, you come to my house on Independence day. We have beef, pork, chicken, mutton, cabrito, venison. We have grilled corn and onions. Potato salad, ranch beans, pork-n-beans, herb roasted taters, okra creole (because we're close to the Louisiana border), mac and cheese. Pies, cakes, cookies, candies. Lemonade, sweet tea, every soda you could possibly want. Chips and salsa, crab dip, veggie platters, fruit trays. Goodness--did I forget anything???
ReplyDeleteGreat clip - when the hair on my neck prick up, birds land on it and bore holes in my neck. I like your version much better.
ReplyDeleteLinda - will you adopt me please?
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm late, Linda, but I had to shear sheep today, trim hooves, and treat those silly critters for itch makers. I took a long hot shower so I wouldn't smell too much like a sheep farmer here! I know how you Texas folks can be.
ReplyDeleteAJ--*everyone* loves us on Independence day! Folks take their favorite leftovers and head back to whatever part of the state they came from, but we still have a fridge/freezer full!
ReplyDeleteHi Pegg -
ReplyDeletewelcome to Linda's Texas barbeque celebration. It's a little mad but you're more than welcome - we take all sorts, even sheep farmers LOL!
Well the birds left. The Duke left. I am all alone. Mary sighs. In the distance a man on a horse approaches. His horse does a lazy walk well. Hat pitched a bit forward, dusty jeans, western shirt and scuffed, and a sexy half smile on his handsome face. It's Josh!!!!
ReplyDeleteJosh Halloway. Josh dismounts when he reaches Mary grabs her and plants a devilish kiss on her lips. Mary swoons and Josh puts her up on the saddle and mounts behind her. He throws his muscular arms around her and they canter into the distance.
Mary wakes up.... Blah....
I love sheep, mostly when they are babies. My friend had 10 acres in NY and had a cute, cuddly, lamb. Which grew into a head butting monster. I saw many people go flying when he was around. He never did it to women, he liked them! LOL
ReplyDeleteApril Fools sweet Mary, ha.
ReplyDeleteWelcome Jim and Pegg. Oliver has quite a barbecue sizzling in the pit, Linda, but dare we all troop to one of your holiday picnics for one of those delicious spreads. My mouth is watering. Great new excerpt, BTW.
ReplyDeletePegg! So glad you could leave your flock to join the herd! Pull up a hay bale and sit awhile! Do you have enough to eat?
ReplyDeleteNo worries, AJ, not going near the mean bull again. My petite rumpus is still smarting from the last throw.
ReplyDeleteSharon--will we see you this July 4th? :D
ReplyDeleteDarn, If only I could live in my dreams!!!
ReplyDeleteCome back Josh! Come back!!!
Whaaahh! Please, (not working) wait there comes someone. A guy hops off his horse, it's Gilbert Godfreed (spelling?) anyways, run girls, run!
Wish I could come on July 4th Linda! (It's a long way to swim across the pond though, and my boots don't float so I can't use them as boats.
ReplyDeleteMary - run girl, run! You can outrun those geese, run!
Jim, hi -so sorry I didn't see you there earlier. We have all sorts at this barbeque, from beef,to pork, to vegetarian. Sit down and let your saddle cool a spell!
Linda, wild horses couldn't keep me. Ok, maybe a bucking bull might.
ReplyDeletePeg, can I have some of the rovings? Maybe it will keep the birds out of my hair.
ReplyDeleteLinda - it would make me very happy to have some of those leftovers for my birthday! :) (It's on the 5th!)
ReplyDeleteYou better wake up Mary and get your hands off MY man! :) Because it's important that I:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZr0_ic1304
no, not yours, MINE. Dang it!
Okay, I got a "yes" from Sharon, a "no" from Lyn (who doesn't want to swim that far) and a see ya on the 5th from AJ. Doesn't look like I'll have to cook extra.
ReplyDeleteOliver is going to have to share some recipes with us!
I wish I could though Linda - I love barbeques, and anything Western! If I win the lottery before July I'll be landing on your doorstep!
ReplyDeleteLyn, if you win the lottery, bring enough to share!
ReplyDeleteHa! He's been mine for ages. I let you borrow him and now I'm sorry I did!
ReplyDeleteHe likes my boobs. And that's the way it is!
Don't be jealous, I told you, that you could have Gerard Butler, but, noooooo, you want them both!!
Oliver I'm getttin' the stun gun if she keeps it up!! You will never find it and I have decoys all over the place. Remember Ernest T? Tee Hee you won't see me!!
And Lyn they float. Don't worry. If you could just put your feet up in the air and glide on your bum. You'll make it!!Do you need help pulling them off, they are rather tight on you. TEE HEE!
Wait you can have them both AJ. I am gonna go for one of those vampires or werewolves. They're really hot!!
What about me and AJ, Linda? No invite for us and I was on my way there??
ReplyDeleteHmmm. snubbed again. I know it's the hooters, women are so jealous that the guys all love them.
'Nother clip:
ReplyDeleteTalon turned in time to catch Patricia rubbing a drop of mayo off her chin with a paper napkin. She laughed, and the sound floated to him like wind chimes in the breeze. From across the lawn, she locked eyes with him, and her lips curled into a sweet smile. His heart turned to mush.
Lyn - what about my doorstep? Choosing favorites just cause she doesn't have birds nest hair? Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteNow, now, sisters, no fighting over a man! (I just lurve Tammy Wynnette, especially singing Stand By Your Man - or Stand ON your man as Irish presenter Terry Wogan used to say! (wouldn't dare in these boots, I'd probably kill him!)
ReplyDeleteNow you've told the world you're 21 on Tuesday Tami!
Sorry - that last comment must ahve got caught in a time warp, I sent it about fifteen minutes ago when Tami and Mary were still quarreling over hunks!
ReplyDeleteLinda - of course I'll be bringing loads of loot to share with everyone when I win the lottery! And Tami, I'll land on your doorstep as well - and Sharon's and Mary's - oh you're gonna be so sick of me! (well when the money runs out, anyway! LOL)
I've missed a lot of posts on this Blackberry. Mama raised me with good manners but it doesn't help when I can't see everything!
ReplyDeleteOh these excerpt snippets are great Linda, so tantalizing.And did I tell you how much I love the cover? It's so colourful and atmospheric!
ReplyDeleteWhat are you talking about we're still fighting over men. Don't women always do that. I gave her Gerard Butler now she wants Josh too. Must be the frizzy hair getting too many radio stations. Messing up the brain.
ReplyDeleteDon't be greedy now AJ. Share will ya!
Ouch!!!
I gotta have this book Linda!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff!!!
Ouch, help AJ is punching me in the arm. Just cause I won't give up Josh. Na, na, na, na, na. Ouch!
It ain't my fault your hair is fuzzy. Help, Ouch!
The husband interrupted me... but I'm back now. I baked a chocolate-cherry cake and frosted it with thick fudge frosting. Did anyone leave room for a piece?
ReplyDeletePegg---Me! Me! Me!!! Just give me a minute to tie AJ and Mary to a couple of fence posts so they'll stop fighting...
ReplyDeleteGlad y'all like my snippets and the cover. I do love my cover!
Your cover is the best PYP has put out to date, no doubt!
ReplyDelete**hands Linda a large slab of cake**
A large slab with lotsa icing! You're my favorite, Pegg!
ReplyDeleteNah, not on Tuesday.....July 5th.....
ReplyDeleteAm I still your mom's favorite too? Should I hand over another piece of cake for her?
ReplyDeleteHow could I be sick of you?
ReplyDelete**grabs a bird and throws it at the bbq pit**
Pegg--yep, you're still her favorite too. She wants to know if that cake is good for her complexion, or if it'll just add to her butt. I tried to convince her it'll make her look 30 years younger, but she wants to hear it from you.
ReplyDeleteFuzzy hair? Really? You're going to go there?
ReplyDelete**grabs to birds and shoves them in Mary's bra!**
Pegg - oh Pegg - I'll leave these men for a piece of that cake!
ReplyDeleteMary and AJ--unless those birds y'all are tossing around are plucked and prepped chickens, keep 'em off the pit!
ReplyDelete**coughs at the cloud of dust she has kicked up, head hanging low**
ReplyDeleteSorry Linda!
**grabs the half bbq'd bird from the grill and puts it back under her hat**
Tell Mom the cake will fill out her wrinkles and make her look years younger. Even the wrinkles on her butt. ;)
ReplyDeleteAJ, not to brag, but this cake is better than men! Bwahahaa!
Pegg - I'll take a piece of cake over a man any day.....well, maybe not a bald one.
ReplyDeletehttp://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo324/villar11/mr-clean.jpg
Giggle!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's okay, this cake isn't bald. ;)
ReplyDelete**hands out extra pieces of cake**
His balance was off, and the bull seemed to know it. Burnt Biscuit made one final back-wrenching leap. The buzzer pierced the air just as Talon flew off. Biscuit was too close to the chutes. Talon was flying toward a gate. He threw his arms out to catch a slat, but his right arm missed and shot through the rails. Inside the chute, a bull reared and slammed against the gate.
ReplyDeleteMind searing pain exploded in Talon's arm.
TALON! No!
ReplyDeleteShoves the rest of the cake in her mouth and runs to save Talon.
That's going to leave a mark.
ReplyDeleteAJ! Watch out for the bull!!!
ReplyDeleteWaa, wha, what happened? Why do I see birds?
ReplyDelete*Yawns - stretches - winces - mumbles to herself*
ReplyDeleteI must be gettin' old. Shearing sheep takes all the starch out of me. I'm heading to bed.
AJ's gonna pass out! Quick! Throw water on her! Oh wait--we don't have water. Where's the root beer????
ReplyDeletePegg--thanks for the cake and comin' to play with us! Get plenty of rest!
ReplyDeleteAck!! My battery's dying! Y'all keep the party going, and I'll be ba
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmm......root beer. Gurgle gurgle gurgle.
ReplyDeleteHey, Red. I'm so happy for you. If I don't win a copy, you know I will but one. & Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteI love BBQ. And a texas size one at that. Linda love your book trailer. Your book sounds really good. Hmm "Who's behind the masks?" I will say Oliver, Mary, Sharon, AJ, Hywela Lyn cause after all it is April Fools Day. LOL. My weekend to work so will check back when I can.
ReplyDeleteSue B
katsrus(at)gmail(dot)com
Sharon waves to Sue and Diane and fflicks off the bird feathers glued to her butt.
ReplyDeleteLinda has passed out after another piece of Pegg's chocolate cherry cake. But she has a huge grin on her face. The hostesses four, Sharon, Lyn, Mary and AJ snore contentedly on bird feather pillows. Oh, wait, they're all sprawled out on AJ's hair.
In the bull pen, Josh tosses Mary's boobs to the bucking broncos. They charge off to parts unknown.
Just another Roast and Toast.
A special thanks to everyone for playing along with us on this April Fool's roast.
ReplyDeleteA big hug to Linda for being such a fun and delightful guest. It's been a roast to go down in history, for sure. Best of luck with Give the Lady a Ride. And can't wait for your 4th of July barbecue. Count me in.
Ladies, ladies, rise and shine. The sun is shining and hot coffee, tea and hot cocoa bubble on the grill, along with bacon, sausage and scrambled eggs. Plenty of blueberry muffins, cornbread and croissants too. And pans of fried taters. Dig in. And allow me to fill Lovely Linda's plate first, and of course her pretty mama. There we go then, Dusty, love. Wink wink
ReplyDeleteLyn yawns and stetches and looks hazily around. Mmmmm, the smell of hot coffee and breakfast sizzling on the grill waft toward her on the warm early morning breeze.
ReplyDeleteLinda and her mama sit before the campfire, tucking in. Gentle, contented snores rise from the guests and Mary and Aj, still asleep, covered with Navajo patterned saddle blankets Oliver's placed over them all. A pair of bluebirds bill and coo in AJ's hair.
What what's that, have I been asleep? Aw I'm sure I meant to say goodnight to everyone, round about 1 a.m. my time. Oh - I must have fallen asleep before I could hit 'send'. Sorry, and I did so want a piece of Pegg's cake too - not that your Italian cream cake wasn't delicious too, of course, Oliver!
Oh, you kept some back for me, you're so thoughtful, Sharon is so lucky to have you for her butler.
Lyn blows him a kiss, hugs Sharon and waves to Sue and Diane who are looking bright eyed and bushy tailed as they wander over to the campfire for breakfast.
Just another Roast and Toast - congratulations again on 'Give The Lady A Ride' Linda, wishing you many, many sales, it sounds like one heck of a great ride, on my 'wish list' for sure!
Sorry, meant to say how much I enjoyed your video too - if you haven't seen it folks, scroll right to the bottom of Linda's post and it's right there on the page!
ReplyDeleteGreat party everyone!
ReplyDeleteDiane thanks for coming by. Hope you got a kick out of it.
Oliver, thanks for all the culinary delights. And great choice, using Navajo blankets! They're beautiful!
Lyn, AJ, Sharon. Mary--thanks for a fun time!
Big hug, Linda, you've been an amazing Guest of Honour, we've really loved having you!
ReplyDeleteWas nice to find another new author. Thanks for the big shindig. You sure can't go away hungry here. LOL.
ReplyDeleteSue B
Kat--glad you dropped by. You can help with the leftovers. I'm still bloated from yesterday.
ReplyDeleteMy cats would love you--all three of them!
I just drew Pegg's name as the winner. It was an honest drawing, really! I swear!!! It had nothing to do with the cake she brought, I promise--cross my heart and everything!!!
ReplyDeleteYippie Ki Aye Aye for Pegg - now she can bake us a cake.
ReplyDeleteLOL, we believe you Linda!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Pegg, I'm know you're in for a real treat!
Congrats Pegg!
ReplyDeleteSue B
LOL, we believe you Linda - despite the cake!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Pegg,