Hello and welcome to another wild and wicked Friday! How befitting that our little bag of tricks here at the
Author Roast and Toast should happen to fall on a day custom designed to fit the personalities of four zany hostesses with mischief up their sleeves.
It’s Rib Tickling!
And More Fun Than A Barrel full of Monkeys
It’s April Fool’s Day
And today we are down in the heart of Texas for a sizzling barbecue with Linda Yezak to celebrate
Give the Lady a Ride
So saddle up, settle down for some good ol’ boy fun and join us for an April Fool’s Day celebration!
Warm sunshine blazes through a canopy of pecan trees, reflecting on the duck pond in a kaleidoscope of sparkling gemstones. Spring is in the air. The Texas fields are alive with vividly budding bluebells and wild flowers. Love doves coo peacefully from a grove of willowy evergreens shading the picnic tables.
Happy as larks, the hostesses, donned in plaid shirts, denim overalls, snake skin boots and cowgirl hats, sing along to the song of the mockingbird. A bald eagle swoops overhead, its massive span of wings arched in a graceful bow across azure blue skies. The bulls kick up their hooves in the corral, tails swaying in the breeze.
Oliver, looking ruggedly handsome in jeans, Western shirt and Stetson sexily dipped over one eye, whistles as he grills baby back ribs in a charcoal pit, along with barbecued chicken, burgers and hot dogs. The grill spits with a sizzling aroma as it billows upward in a. mouth watering aroma of smoke.
The girls arrange heaping platters of potato salad, cole slaw, steaming pans of red beans and rice and buttery loaves of cornbread, in a tent.
Coolers of soda, sparkling water and sweet tea are on either side of the Italian cream cake. They set baskets of tortilla chips and Texas red sauce on picnic tables, along with bowls of freshly picked pecans and dried fruit.
“What a gorgeous day,” Sharon smiles, her eyes fixed on a flock of mockingbirds gathering together in the pecan trees. “Just because it’s April Fool’s Day is no reason to think the birds will attack as a joke, right?”
“Don’t be silly,” Lyn’s belly laugh echoes a croaking bull frog as it splashes into tduck pond. “You really must dish your bird fetish, sweetie. It’s getting to be a bigger problem than your bubble butt.”
“Yeah,” Mary chortles, unbuttoning a few hooks on her blouse to expose her ample cleavage. “When are y’all gonna can your Alfred Hitchcock phobia?”
“I dunno,” AJ peers upward, adjusting her hat to tame her birds nest of hair as the mockingbird glares at her. “She might be onto something.”
Lyn shrieks with laughter clean down to her size 12 clodhoppers. “It was just a movie, nothing to be such a scaredy cat about. Such a silly goose. Hey, y’all need something to get your mind off the birds. While we’re waiting for Linda to arrive, what’s say we try our luck at bull riding! Who’s in?”
The girls scream in unison, kicking up dust as they race to the pen. “All for one and one for all!”
Just as the ranch hands get the girls straddled on the bucking bulls, a red bellied woodpecker begins to wildly drill into the bark of the pecan tree, followed by the screech of a long horned owl. The mallard ducks squawk and splash in the water. Bulls, sensing danger a split second before a flock of black billed mockingbirds swoop down with a thundering flap of wings, buck back on hind legs, sending the Four Musketeers flying through the air. With a sonic boom that quakes the earth, the girls smack the ground.
The squabbling birds attack Sharon first, perching themselves on her butt as she lay sprawled prostrate. A mean bird with a shrill cry mistakes AJ’s hair for a nest and lands in it, pecking at her head. Lyn’s boots fly off, leaving her huge toes naked and bare. The birds thrash and peck at them, showing no mercy. More gather with all the commotion, snatching Mary’s hooters right from under her nose.
Suddenly, above all the screaming, gunfire explodes in the sky, followed by a stampede of horses comin’ ‘round the mountain. The birds take flight with a flap of wings. Leading the pack, dressed like Annie Oakley in red leather gauchos, crisp white blouse, matching snake skin boots and hat, Linda fires her pearl handled pistol into the air.
The hostesses, pick themselves up by the boot strings, go running to greet their guest. More guests ride in on Linda’s heels. Could it be or is it an April Fool’s prank? The girls rub their eyes as none other than The Duke and The James Gang escort lovely Linda into the barbecue!
Who’s behind the masks? Answer for a chance to win a prize by Linda. Party on!
Back cover copy:
Patricia Talbert is a high-class social coordinator from New York.
Talon Carlson is a rugged bull rider from Texas.
He thinks she’s too polished.
She thinks he’s insane.
Opposites aren’t quick to attract when the lady who enters the cowboy’s world is on a mission to sell the ranch. But a box of letters changes her mission–letters of unshakable faith and a love deeper than anything she’s ever experienced.
Soon she finds his integrity appealing. Her spunk draws him in. He has the faith she craves; she may be the love he longs for. But faith and love aren’t achieved in a single weekend.
To buy time to explore the possibilities between them, she issues a challenge: “Teach me to ride bulls.”