Today the Hostesses of the Author Roast and Toast Blog are pleased to welcome author Cate Masters. Cate Masters’ novels, novellas and short fiction appear at The Wild Rose Press, Eternal Press, Wild Child Publishing/ Freya’s Bower and Shadowfire Press. Her flash and short stories are published with The Battered Suitcase , A Long Story Short, Dark Sky Magazine, Cezanne’s Carrot, The Harrow, Flesh from Ashes, Quality Women’s Fiction, Phase, and The Writer’s online edition. In 2005, Pennwriters awarded her second place in its annual Short Story contest. Her freelance articles have appeared in The Sentinel, Carlisle. The proud mom of three adult children, she currently lives in central Pennsylvania with her husband, Benji the dog and their dictator-like cat, Chairman Maiow. Visit her online at her website, blog, or follow her on Facebook.
Despite this impressive background we still have chosen Cate. Carefully we went over the beginning requests to be on the blog. (These people had no clue what they are in for. ) Anyways as I was saying. We chose Cate Masters to be roasted and toasted this week because she appears to be a good sport, is ready for a verbal sparring, wants to be waited on by the handsome charismatic Oliver, has a good sense of humor and is quick witted. I hope she can take it.
Here’s the story blurb:
Publicist Allison Morris plans her own life – what’s left of it – around the life of her boss Michelle McCarter, the ex-wife of a famous rock star. When Michelle needs emergency public relations patchwork in Hawaii pronto, Allison arranges a flight to the dream destination. At the airport, she meets Wes Hamilton, a six-foot-three sun-bleached blond whose blue eyes and dazzling smile rekindle her fizzled-out sizzle. A world-renowned surfer, Wes captivates her with his charm and wit, though his easy fame and on-the-edge lifestyle are the polar opposite of her own. When their jet loses its fuselage in mid-air, she takes advantage of what she thinks are her last minutes alive with Wes. The plane lands safely. Wes takes care of her when her carefully constructed life begins to unravel. When Michelle accuses Allison of using Wes to gain fame for herself, Allison’s world falls apart in an explosive confrontation. Wes is waiting with open arms when she has nowhere else to go, but can Allison learn to stop planning and go with gravity?
Take a look at this fantastic excerpt that we have posted for Cate. Her stories will become known in every household where a romance writer resides.
And here’s the excerpt:
Allison pulled her portfolio from her laptop case and set it on her lap, afraid to open it. As soon as the articles had arrived on her fax machine, she’d shoved them into her bag, then hopped in the shower. Delay tactics only worked for so long. The moment of truth had arrived. She opened it and thumbed through. Eleven pages. Eleven. And these were only the newspaper articles from the past two days. TV and online news sites surely covered more. And then there’d be the inevitable blogger. Uncontrollable, overly opinionated and accountable to no one, they were the worst.
Michelle had arrived on Oahu with a bang, and then had the audacity to blame Allison for not doing her job to quell the media. She held up one photo of a topless Michelle prancing in the surf, laughing. Rumors and innuendo could be stopped with logic and tact, but to downplay this photo, she’d need a good explanation. When Michelle’s logic and tact failed her so obviously, Allison had to wonder about her mental state.
A hulking figure filled the aisle, stowing his bag in the overhead compartment.
Those shorts. That shirt.
It was him.
He checked his ticket, looked at her and smiled. His blond hair fell across his forehead as he sat next to her, his shoulder bumping hers. “Hello again.”
For two years, she’d rubbed elbows with stars of all magnitudes without so much as a blink, and fended off paparazzi following the wife of megastar James McCarter.
With two words, she’d been reduced to the rank of dreamy-eyed teeny bopper.
He smiled, raised an eyebrow.
She realized, then, she hadn’t responded. And her mouth hung open.
Make that drooling dreamy-eyed teeny bopper.
She flashed a smile. Think. Damage control is your business. Put it to good use for once.
“Hi.” Oh, yes. Very witty. What a deft deflection of his charm.
She turned back to her articles, but sensed the weight of his stare.
He frowned at her reading material. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to read over your shoulder. I take it you’re a closet fan of the poor little rich girl?”
“In the same way I’m a closet fan of train wrecks, I suppose. I guess you’re not a fan.”
“Of hers?” He chuckled. “God, no. She’s awful. Her publicist should be shot.”
Shot. Of course. Working fifty-five to sixty-five hours a week wasn’t enough to keep the spin spinning fast enough for the rest of the world. The one guy who’d interested her in the past two and a half years thought she made a good candidate for execution. Her life was in such a rut, she’d need mountain climbing gear to get out.
“If you’re a fan, I didn’t mean to offend.” Sincerity had wiped the smile from his face.
“Actually, I’m..” She turned and smiled, “her publicist.”
Great excerpt Cate! Way to Go!
Thanks so much,
Cate
And there you have it my friends, great story, nice author, and certainly has to be put on the top of your TBR list. But we can't let her get away that easily. Welcome one and all. Let's see what Cate is made of. Can she handle the pressure and comeback challenge. Go, Cate, Go and run the gauntlet!
One More Thing!
The question!! Of course the person with the very best answer will win a prize. And you must leave a comment to be eligible to win the prize.
So Here's the question:
What were Tarzan's last words?
"That tree wasn't there yesterday."
ReplyDeleteYour excerpt is great, Cate. I cannot wait to read the book. I will definitely be adding it to my TBR pile. :)
Whew, is it hot in here? Oh no, must just be me. :) Maybe I can persuade Oliver to bring me a nice beverage. What's on tap today, Oliver?
ReplyDeleteThanks for having me here, ladies! I'm looking forward to a nice hot roast (she says, sprinting toward the gauntlet) and then a nice long weekend to cool off!
Thanks so much, Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI love your answer. Hm, Tarzan's last words. Lots of good possibilities there...
Hello Cate and fellow roasters. Cate is up for a great day of partying. I'll have the PGTips Oliver please.
ReplyDeleteJunior stop sniffing Cate, I don't care how good she smells.
Welcome to our second Roast and Toast, bring your sense of humor and we'll take care of the rest. And the day begins!
Hi Cate!
ReplyDeleteI see you came prepared for the Tarzan question. Um, isn't it a bit chilly in that Jane outfit?
No worries, Mary, I'm an animal lover. There are usually four in our bed - me, my hubby, our dog and cat. We might need a bigger bed soon!
ReplyDeleteIs the outfit too much? I'm not usually a slave to fashion, but the one-shoulder mini just caught my eye. This leopard skin is getting a bit itchy, though. Think I'll go change!
ReplyDeleteWelcome Cate. We aim to please here today on the author roast and toast. And since it's gonna get hot, good thing you're dressed like Jane. LOL Oh, Oliver, do bring refreshments. Oliver! Bang! Shatter! Crash! He's so busy staring at Cate he dropped the tray of drinks. Ooopsss...looks like Oliver's in love again!
ReplyDeleteSharon
I don't know if you should change, Oliver's eyeballs are falling out of his head. Control that man will you Sharon. Has he offered you a beverage yet?
ReplyDeleteCuddles where are you?
Oooh ooh eeek eeek...
ReplyDeleteOh, Cheetah, quit monkeying around! I'm sure Cate will give you a nice pat on the head if you don't breathe on her.
Here, have your own glass of recipe, ape. You'll smell better!
Cuddles! Cate can't sign autographs without her pen! Give that back! What do you expect her to do? Use twig bark?
ReplyDeleteCome on Mary. You know how Oliver is? Control him? Me? Right. Oliver, clean up that broken glass and stop drooling. Junior, you're no better! Cate, what would you like to drink? Maybe we can persuade Oliver to go get something cold for you? I wouldn't mind a cup of coffee, and bring Mary her drink. And some fresh fruit and brownies might be nice. Hi Rachel. What can Oliver bring you?
ReplyDeleteSharon
Oh Oliver, you're such a tease. Could I persuade you to change into a loincloth for the occasion? ;) And could you bring a drink? Something tropical would be refreshing.
ReplyDeleteOh - careful! Watch out for that-ooo, ouch-chair. Flirting can be hazardous!
Oliver just rushed up to his room. What's he doing? Oh, My he has on a loincloth and he is otherwise totally in the all together!
ReplyDeletehee hee...Miss Mae loves Rachel's comment!
ReplyDeleteTarzan's last words: Aaaaa eeeee aaaaaaa aaaaa eeee aaaa a - You want me to wear what?
ReplyDeleteLoved the excerpt.
Patsy
aaaaaaa a aaaaaa a aaaaaa Oliver dressed in a loin cloth swings across the jungle on a rope and lands in front of Cate with a tropical drink and a wicked wink!
ReplyDeleteSharon
Welcome Patsy! When Oliver stops drooling, he'll be happy to getcha a drink. MM, hand me a swig of the recipe. It's tough keeping Oliver in line. Oh Oliver, you sexy thing you!!
ReplyDeleteSharon
Hey Oliver, that was me you pushed me right out of the way to get over to Cate, I know, it's the dress.
ReplyDeleteHi Cate, Hi Rachel, hi everyone. Lyn rushes in panting. Sorry to be late, I've been chasing after Cuddles trying to get Cate's pen back.
ReplyDeleteI loved the leapard skin Cate (mock leapardskin of course, isn't it!)
Oooh! Lyn suddenly catches sight of Oliver in his loinloth and gasps in admiration before swooning at his feet.
What an entrance, Oliver! Bravo! And thanks for the drink. It really hits the spot.
ReplyDelete*fanning Lyn* Oliver quick! A drink for Lyn!
ReplyDeleteYes, Lyn, even faux leopardskin is wicked itchy! :)
ReplyDeleteTrazan's last words -
ReplyDelete"Who is Oliver and why is he rubbing Jane's back?"
Love the interview.
Be back later
Morning' Lyn. Glad you found Cuddles. Lyn? Should we call the paramedics? Lyn passes out cold, a big smile on her lips as she gapes at Oliver.
ReplyDeleteSharon
Oliver doesn't even notice Lyn lying prostrate (she can't spell leopard either) as he gazes at Cate in love and adoration.
ReplyDeleteCuddles grabs her by the hair and drags her out of the way.
Pass around the recipe MM, these people need some cheering up.
ReplyDeleteThere goes Oliver chasing. Oh my Junior has the munchies, watch the treats please.
Ooh, hello Cate, w-where am I. Oh Oliver, some recipe, thank you - ooh Oliver did I hear Cate say faux leopardskin was itchy. Sharon do you think I should scratch Oliver's back?
ReplyDeleteLOL Sharon winks. Oliver wouldn't say no!
ReplyDeleteSharon
What's that Oliver? Tarzan's last words were Oliver is king of the jungle!
ReplyDeleteSharonwords were
Cate, sorry. Oliver has just tripped over the tail of your fake leopard skin...ah...outfit. His whole tray of drinks has splattered and is dripping off the edges of the tree house.
ReplyDeleteWonder why that elephant down there has his trunk raised trying to catch all the drops?
anyway, what you need is a cool refreshing nip of lemonade! It's a special brew...um, I mean recipe handed down from my very own grandpappy Beauregard.
Shall I splash you a tumbler full?
Junior, quit trying to chase Cate up the side of the tree house! That is not a real cat she's wearing!
ReplyDeleteMm, thank you, Miss Mae, that sounds yummy!
ReplyDeleteThat elephant knows where the good stuff is! Wonder if he'd consent to giving me a ride?
MMmmmmm this is so good MM.
ReplyDeleteI feel good too. Jnior where are you?
I second that, Sharon! Oliver rules! He'd look as good on a surfboard as my hero in Going with Gravity. ;)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of gravity...is Cate rather...you know..floating...a few inches off the floor?
ReplyDeleteGirls, the elephant's trunk is spouting recipe out like a gushing geyser! Where's my cup? Oh no, the chimps are lining up!
ReplyDeleteSharon
What's going on? There is a line of monkeys and the elephants are starting to line up behind them. I see monkey swinging from the trees and throwing empty cups down on people.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Oliver should use his Tarzan yell to get those beasts in line!
ReplyDeleteAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh aaa Aaaaahhhhhhh aa aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
ReplyDeleteOliver go up there and get Sharon will you Oliver? She is being chased by Monkeys?
ReplyDeleteWait, they're forming a conga line! *scurries to join in*
ReplyDeleteTarzan's last word: Ouch.
ReplyDeleteNot terribly original, but there it is. :)
LOVED that excerpt! I'm gonna have to add this book to my Buy list!
I glanced through the posts from last week and this is one wild bunch! Quite brave to go with the Tarzan theme this week.
Thanks so much, Stacey! Pull up a vine and stay awhile! Oliver will be happy to bring you a drink, won't you Oliver? Oliver? Where did he get to?
ReplyDeleteOh look the baboons, there are tons of them headed this way! Quick hide!
ReplyDeleteOliver swings from a vine with fresh tropical drinks perfectly balanced in one hand. He tosses some bananas to Cuddles and Junior. He winks at Stacey, pumps his biceps at Cate and leaps high in the air and plucks a coconut from a tree and hacks in half with a quick wrench of his hand. He drinks the coconut milk and pounds on his hairy chest. Aaaaaahhhhhhhh aaa aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! He grabs Cate and growls, "Me Tarzan, you Jane!"
ReplyDeleteSharon.
Oliver reaches up and grabs more coconuts, hurls them at the baboons, knocks them down like dominos and grins.
ReplyDeleteMy hero! *sighs* This calls for another round!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling it's going to take Oliver a little while to get my drink, as distracted as he is by Cate, so I'm going to run into town to pick up my glasses. When I get back, I should be able to study his loin cloth much more clearly. (I winked back a Oliver, but without my glasses, I fear I may have been looking at the monkey!)
ReplyDeleteThe grinning fool Oliver reaches a hairy arm around Stacey to assure her he's the real deal.
ReplyDeleteCuddles gallo9ps up balancing a pair of spectacles on his horn, bows his head and tosses them into Stacey's lap.
ReplyDeleteLyn tuts in exasperation Cuddles, who did you steal those from - they're not Stacey's - oh they're not Cate's are they?
Hi all, and especially our dear and most talented Cate. I happen to be a huge Tarzan fan and protest that he had no last words because The King of the Jungle never fell. He rules, he lives, he is my hero. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome Beth!
ReplyDeleteLong live Tarzan!
But see, Beth, he HAD to have some last words right before Jane whacked him over the head with that gourd pitcher!
ReplyDeleteHe was making eyes at Cate as she strutted about in that fake, itchy, smelly, moldy (well, it is hot in the jungle and humid!) zeopard bin...I mean tepher hen...oh, hiccup...I mean that wild costume she has on!
Indeed! Hurrah hurrah. He rides forth on his elephant, that forceful yodel sounding through the jungle.
ReplyDeleteBad guys and weird Amazonians beware.
Cate, your book sounds awesome.
Ah, well, Jane is a whole other matter. I say we ditch her. Cate is far hotter in that outfit anyway.
ReplyDeleteHi Beth, the words of a poet! Welcome. If you can catch Oliver between swinging from tree vines, he'll bring you a tropical drink with a healthy kick of recipe. Sharon swoons. And it goes down real easy in the heat of the jungle. Oliver, more refreshments.
ReplyDeleteSharon
*shriek*...the baboons have surrounded Cate!
ReplyDeleteHurry, someone, quick! To the rescue!
Miss Mae scurries quickly out of the way, clutching her precious recipe to her bosom
Uh oh, I can't believe my eyes. There are dozens of elephants headed toward the tables. They heard about Miss Mae's recipe. I think that Oliver is headed that way now!
ReplyDeleteThat's it, I'm changing for sure now! Hurry, Oliver, aim some more coconuts this way!
ReplyDeleteA loud scream echoes through the entire area. Everyone goes quiet. "Look up," someone yells. Up above in the treetops Cate flies from vine to vine behind her a gorilla chases her. Helpppp! Oliver, heeeeeeeelllp!
ReplyDelete*Oliver charges in on a bull elephant, waving its huge ears to ward off the baboons. He lifts Cate behind him, and they trot off into the jungle*
ReplyDeleteSee you in a bit, ladies! ;)
Oliver grabs the elephant's trunk, still filled with recipe, squirts each baboon until he passes out cold from the stench of alcohol. They fall back and shake the earth, knocking more coconuts on their heds. Oops. they'll be out for hours. Oliver pumps his biceps and grabs Cate and does the tango.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness Cate. I was worried, but thanks to Cuddles providing a Magic solution with his little horn.
ReplyDeleteso after calling to the baboons Cate is safe!
In the end Oliver always comes through. How did the baboons get here, I thought they didn't now we were here.
ReplyDeleteOooh hello Beth, have you had some of the *hic* recipe.
ReplyDeleteCuddles, come back with that bottle NOW! Bad unicorn.
There you go Beth. Now, where did Oliver say he was going with Cate?
Cate, I suggest an exquisite evening gown with tiny pearl buttons, embroidered front panels and lacy shawl for evening wear.
ReplyDeleteI don't know but they took a large bottle of you know what. That can't be good.
ReplyDeleteVery nice Beth but we're in the jungle here. Cate just got saved from the gorillas and the baboons. It might be hard to run in a beautiful dress?
ReplyDeleteI'll be swinging back into your life in the future!
ReplyDeletedancealert at aol dot com
Miss Mae quickly wipes out her ear with a gloved finger...
ReplyDeleteWhat was that, Sharon? Did you say the elephant's truck was full of recipe and then those filthy baboons passed out from the stench of alcohol?
Miss Mae is horrified...alchohol? What alcohol? My recipe is lemonade!
(don't look confused, Cate. Yes, lemonade. Get it? Lemon-ade!)
Obviously, Oliver slipped some of those tangy rotten bananas down the elephant's snout.
Miss Mae bats her lashes innocently.
Look at that! Cuddles has borrowed Cate's new evening shawl, and Junior is none too pleased. He grabs one end, Cuddles pulls on the other..and ripppp!
ReplyDeleteBrenda, hello! That is a delightful phrase!
ReplyDeleteHurry, grab a squishy coconut before the baboons do, and let it fly!
True, Mary, but one must consider fashion on all occasions. Cate can't let a trifling bit of bother keep her from the ball. She and Tarzan will make a dashing couple and a regal appearance riding in on the elephant, if she gets her shawl back.
ReplyDeleteOops, the monkey's got her white gloves.
This is chaos, until Cate gets back I guess.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Oliver, Junior, Cuddles?
Miss Mae sashays around the place. Laughing and handing out peanuts to all the critters.
Sharon soars out of the jungle on the back of a giraffe, hurling coconuts at the drunken baboons. She waves at Brenda and just because Oliver is grinning like a fool, pitches the last coconut on his head and he's down for the count. Sharon gives the high five andasks MM for a hearty slug of her...ahlem lemonade was it?
ReplyDeleteSharon
yes, Mary, that's quite right..hiccup...there's not a whit, or zip, or bit of alcohol in me grandpappy's lemonade...
ReplyDeleteBeth, are you sure you can apply Cate's makeup on her face while she and Oliver are jostling along on that elephant?
Oops, not quite sure Cate wanted her lipstick up in her eyebrows.
I guess you're right Beth but she'll have to be careful. With all the critters she's libel to get dirty.
ReplyDeleteIt is beautiful but Tarzan in a loincloth and her dressed so nice. I don't know. Besides Tarzan is gone I'm afraid Oliver will have to do.
Hold on Miss Mae, whoops Miss Mae falls off the wagon and we have to go back to get her.
ReplyDeleteI got her gloves Beth!
ReplyDeletewhaz zat, Sharon?..zat's right...veeery potent lemons in dis here lemony stuff...
ReplyDeletewatch it, elephant! he's slugging back the whole flask!
And Cuddles and Junior come flying off a branch of a nearby tree, using Cat's shawl like a parachute...
Oliver is nowhere in sight...and I hear Cate giggling...hmm
*Rachel waltzs in with a black panther in tow.*
ReplyDeleteSorry to sneak off like that girls. I had to go pick up Bagera. *She gestures toward the panther who wanders off in search of lunch.*
That is a nice loin cloth Oliver. So, what did I miss?
Oops! I probably shouldn't have said anything. But, just in case you all were wondering, Oliver and Cate are under that thar bush over there.
ReplyDeleteLyn gallops up on Cuddles, pursued by a zebra (aw was it *hic* the othr way around)
ReplyDeleteOh dear, Poor Miss Mae's always falling of that there wagon!
Cuddles hands Lyn Cate's shawl which he's been carrying in his teeth.~~
Thanks Cuddles, well, it seems to be in one piece, and only slightly damp. Here you are Cate - Cate where are you? Oliver?
Thank you Rachel. *Sniff* You know Oliver told me only yesterday he could never look at any other woman except me - and maybe Sharon - and Mary - and Miss Mae - and -
ReplyDeleteOliver took off with our guest?
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel...ah...did you say your panther is in search of lunch? Maybe you should feed him some recipe to dull his senses so he's not quite so...ah...hungry.
ReplyDeleteSharon
Cate, I love the excerpt! Poor guy, sticking his foot in his mouth like that. hehe :)
ReplyDeleteTarzan's last words: Wait, that's not a vine! No, snake! Don't wrap around--
good idea. That big, sleek animal's
ReplyDeletedrooling as it eyes Cuddles!
Still no one has guessed Tarzan's last words.
ReplyDelete"Who greased the vine?"
ReplyDeleteOh, watch out for Bagera. The lemonade only whetted his appetite.
Hey, Oliver! Do you have some meat hidden somewhere, preferably already dead?
Tarzan's last words, were he to have any, would be a yodel halted in mid-cry.
ReplyDeleteI'm considering the guest list for the ball. Hmmmm...neighboring headhunters,(watch your head) Amazon women, (watch your back,)indigenous pigmys, watch anything below the waist,...bad guy treasure seekers, unreliable, but good dancers...
*The elephant ambles in carrying Cate and Oliver*
ReplyDeleteSorry to be late, ladies! We um, took a detour.
Sounds lovely, Beth, but I've taken a liking to this outfit, skimpy as it is. It's very versatile! I can sip recipe on the veranda or hop on an elephant with equal ease.
ReplyDeleteThanks for swinging by, Brenda! Hope you had some refreshments on the way through.
ReplyDeleteOoh, gorgeous panther, Rachel! When I was little, I desperately wanted a lion (after watching a movie aptly named "The Lion.") Can't understand why my parents said no.
ReplyDeleteHello Cate, well it's a relief that you're oK. I guess Oliver ah-hum looked after you!
ReplyDeleteHi E.A. Do help yourself to lemonade and jungle cookies, Oliver will be glad to serve you when he gets off that elephang - WON'T you OLiver! Impressive Guest List, Beth, should keep Oliver on his toes!
Thank God your back Cate. I've been out with the search party. All they could find were several empty bottles. Whew.
ReplyDeleteNow please Oliver calm down and serve our guests. Junior has agreed to pull the cart around for you, he can sniff each person as he moves around with you. I think Cuddles has been the only one being good today.
ReplyDeleteHi E.A. Loved that line! But oh, don't get me started on snakes! And snakes in trees! We have a few of those slithering through our cherry trees. *shivers*
ReplyDeleteOh look! Beth changed into the dress she brought for Cate to wear. My she looks lovely. Cate stop that, you cannot soil the dress with mud and no you can't pour recipe on her so she gets a DWI on the way home. There's no alcohol in the recipe. Right Miss Mae, Miss Mae get up off the floor, please.
ReplyDeleteGreat guest list, Beth! If any sailors shipwreck nearby, be sure to include them too. We'll give them plenty of recipe so they think they still have their sea legs!
ReplyDeleteDid someone mention snakes?
ReplyDeleteSorry Beth, I was merely trying to straighten the seam. Here, let me wipe that smudge. There! You look gorgeous. That color suits you.
ReplyDeleteLyn, Oliver spoke very highly of you all while we were, uh, away. He said he'd never leave you. For long.
ReplyDeleteTarzan's last words? Hmmm... "Who greased the grape-vi-i-ine?"
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt, Cate. You rock, Toastettes! Keep an eye on Oliver. Could ride in on a tiger. Well...as long as it's toothless, de-clawed one.
Laurean Brooks
I'm particularly partial to ball gowns, but this one is mussed and I've misplaced my parasol. Hold on--
ReplyDeleteDid someone say ship-wrecked sailors? Would a certain Captain Jack Sparrow happen to be among them? Tell Oliver to fetch the rum.
An elephant prances out of the jungle with Oliver standing on his back, his loin cloth flapping in the breeze. Grinning and winking wildly, he pumps his biceps and serves lunch. Grilled gator bites, mangos and for dessert--banana and coconut cream pie.
ReplyDeleteCuddles good? The little varmint's been parachuting with Cate's shawl, stole a pair of glasses, aided and abetted Oliver in goodness knows what - and now he's tied that snake into a knot, with his enchanted horn. Well perhaps we should be grateful to him for that - but why's Oliver hiding behind that tree - and Cuddles, where did you get that loin cloth. Cate, don't look!
ReplyDeleteCuddles gallops off into the jungle with the loin cloth hung at a jaunty angle from his horn while Cate averts her eyes, and passes her shawl to Oliver behind the tree...
Oliver steps out with the shawl draped around his middle, blushes furiously and waves at Laurie.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Laurean! Glad you enjoyed the excerpt! And great line!
ReplyDeleteNow that Oliver's tied the shawl around his waist, I'll definitely keep an eye on him!
All eyes are on Oliver...
ReplyDeleteCate walks to the tree he is hiding behind and drops another loincloth just out of his reach. What will he do?
Good boy Cuddles.
Good idea, Beth! Rum's a must if we're to lure Jack to our midst. Although I suspect he'd take a quick liking to the recipe.
ReplyDeleteMm, Sharon. Think I'll skip the gator bites and go straight for dessert. Yummy, coconut cream pie! You ladies sure know how to throw a roast!
ReplyDeleteUmmm, right. I'll just go see if Captain Jack wants to join in our festivities. You guys, ummm, wait here.
ReplyDeleteAh, Jack is coming? Bagera has a definitely dislike for him. I have never understood why. Perhaps I should go find Bagera and make sure that he doesn't do anything rash.
ReplyDelete*Rachel goes off looking for Bagera.*
Sharon swings from a vine. Sailors? Did I hear sailors? Shiver me timbers! Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum! Sharon waves at E.A. and Laurie.
ReplyDeleteOo Beth, be sure to ask Jack to bring Will Turner along too. He's welcome ashore anytime!
ReplyDeleteGood old Will Turner. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer but an eager lad and not hard on the eyes.
ReplyDeleteSure, come on over Will!
Not to miff Oliver, of course.
Junior and Mary come in with more munchies. Cate doesn't like the gator bites.
ReplyDeleteMay places large shrimp with fresh cocktail sauce. Wonderful fresh fruits and a dipping sauce, Cheeses from all over, spinach and artichoke dip, lobster salad, wonderful fresh Artesian breads, fresh sorbet to clean your palate. Mangia!
Mary, you guys have the best virtual buffet around and the rockinest blog. I've got to go party with the pirates for awhile. They're gonna help me with the infamous Chapter Eight of my WIP. But I'll pop back in.
ReplyDeleteMary, you're such a sweetie! I didn't mean to hint that I didn't like the gator bites! They were very... chewy. And long-lasting. But thank you so much for the jumbo shrimp! Such an assortment of yummies. You may never get rid of me! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for hangin', Beth!
ReplyDeletePirates can assist with chapters? I'll have to keep that in mind. I have a few I'd like to run by them myself!
If nothing else they can run their swords through it. But I hope with enough rum and revelry I will gain inspiration.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Beth write like crazy!
ReplyDeleteI've heard they're sticklers for grammar, too. Particularly with lingo such as "parlay." :)
ReplyDeleteBongo drums echo throughout the jungle and Oliver prances out beating his balled up fists on his hairy chest. He grabs Cate and abducts her. Giving the others a sly wink, he grabs a bottle of recipe. Who needs rum? Let's rumble!
ReplyDeleteSharon
Oo, Oliver! I've never been swept off my feet like this before! Um, did you hide another bottle under your loincloth, or are you just happy to see me?
ReplyDeleteBe back soon! *yodels Tarzan yell* Save us some recipeeeeeeee
Oliver come back here you rat!!! We are not through with Cate yet today. Bring her back, she has to stay until at least 4:00pm.
ReplyDeleteCOME BACK HERE!
*Oliver swings on a vine, Cate clinging to him, and lands gracefully in their midst*
ReplyDeleteThanks, Oliver! *attemps to straighten her skirt, then realizes it's supposed to be on an angle* We were just going on a quick... sightseeing tour.
Someone has guessed the correct answer to Tarzan's demise. So we have a winner to be announced later.
ReplyDeleteOliver, poor Sharon has been ignored all day and she deserves better. Get over there and see why she's fainted!
whoo hoooo, jungle animals...quiet, Bagera, naughty boy to purr with your fangs showing...
ReplyDeleteOh my, I've been busy directing traffic...elephants must go by the waterfall, zebras go by the painted trail, parrots fly through the feathery clouds...
Anyway, did I hear something about sailors? You're so right! While I was stuck in the Valley of the MonteZipYerLip, who did I happen to hear?
A very bass voice was singing, "Oh, I'm Popeye the sailor man"
Ollliiivvveeerrrr...
ReplyDeletehow's that for a jungle yell? Sharon, where is your butler??? Poor Cuddles is trying to serve pineapple on his horn. Nothing sadder than a little unicorn with sticky pineappley hair!
Mary, what is it Junior is sniffing on the ground?
ReplyDeleteOh, it's a spinach trail!
Oh darn, will he settle for spinach and artichoke did? No other spinach dishes, wait I see spanakopita on one of the tables. Whew, he should like that.
ReplyDeleteJunior JUNIOR!! Get back here. I told you there is no doggie biscuits at the end of a spinach trail.
ReplyDeleteCome I have your favorite snack sweet potato wrapped with duck. So be a good boy. And don't tell me you're lookin' for some real fun.
No you cannot sniff any of the guests.
Uh oh, has Sharon revived yet? Maybe if we help her sip a bit...
ReplyDeleteMiss Mae, glad you made it back from the Valley of MonteZipYerLip. Sounds like a dangerous place!
ReplyDeleteLyn did you know that Cuddles is running through the crowd and using his magic horn he has stolen all of the recipe? Get it back will you, this party is not over yet!
ReplyDeleteEeek, Cate, run! That's Brutus, and he has his eye fixed on you!
ReplyDeleteWait! Hark! There be the Oliver Tarzan yell...with a bit of coughing and hacking...but he dives off that vine, lands in front of Brutus and snarls...
Oooh, this is getting interested. Stay tuned, folks...
Cate, yes, I was sidetracked in the Valley of MonteZipYerLip...An ancient legend cousin to Montezuma, you know
ReplyDeleteSharon sits upright. Whew. Must a had jungle fever. Where is Oliver? Oliver? Remember the auction? The auction I'm threatening to sell you to the highest bidder? The one in Outter Montgolia where there are no pretty girls? No playmates? No Partners in Crime? No recipe? Read my lips, Oliver......the auction!
ReplyDeleteSharon
Oh flip, this time difference thing is such a pain - I had to have a abreak for our evening meal, it's gone 8.15 pm over here. Cuddles, come back here AT ONCE with that recipe. That's better. And how did you get all that pinapple in your forelock.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think Oliver might need a bit of help, quick Cuddles, quick!
Thanks for caring, Cate. It's obvious my butler is oblivious. Remember me, Oliver? Your boss? The woman who pays you way tooooooo much? Stop blubbering and get me a cold drink. What do you mean it's all gone? Miss Mae is never out of recipe. Junior, use your telepathic skills and go fetch.
ReplyDeleteCuddles has it and he's being stubborn Lyn, make him share MM recipe!
ReplyDeleteThere is a sound of tinkling bells, and a small unicorn with a rather sticky mane and flaggons of MM's recipe tied across his saddle cloth, appears followed closely by Oliver.
ReplyDeleteSorry Mistress, he whinnies, I was helping Oliver get rid of that nasty Brutus who wanted to kidnap Cate and ruin the party. I spiked him with my horn *chuckle*
Oliver and Cuddles - my heroes! *kisses each on the cheek*
ReplyDeleteCate, don't look behind you!
ReplyDeleteThat's Jane, and she's MAD!!!
We may have to move this party to the beach - I suspect everyone's already gone there for Labor Day weekend! Oliver's loincloth is perfect beachwear.
ReplyDeleteYipes, I forgot about Jane. She is still mad about losing Tarzan. She's lookin' to grab Oliver and she, oh no she's going after Cate?
ReplyDeleteJane! Sit down, have some refreshments. You'll feel much better.
ReplyDeleteCate, very well handled!
ReplyDeleteSo you tired yet? Do you feel like the post blog picture yet?
Lol, Mary. Not quite yet!
ReplyDeleteThen you aren't cooked yet! You need more. Ha! Keep that sexy little dress on and get ready to party. I hear Oliver knows some great late nite jungle places you can go and party.
ReplyDeleteJungle parties! Sounds like fun! I love a blazing campfire. :)
ReplyDeleteOliver flings an arm around Kate and runs with her into the jungle.
ReplyDeleteHmm, doesn't need much encouragement does he!
Oliver comes on the scene grinning, pumping his biceps at Cate. He clears his throat. Me Tarzan know where we can catch jungle fever. Wink wink snort snort.
ReplyDeleteSharon
*Calling over Oliver's shoulder* Thanks so much, ladies! I had a blast today - just what I needed. Hope you all have a fantastic holiday weekend!
ReplyDeleteBye Cate, Lyn calls, as Tarzan, I mean Oliver and Cate disappear from view, it's been wonderful having you here!
ReplyDeleteCate, you were the perfect guest and added so much fun and life to the roast! Thank you so much for being our victim...I mean...guest! You and Oliver have a great time tonight and don't do anything I wouldn't do! Wink.
ReplyDeleteSharon
Miss Mae listens to the thumping sounds coming down the grapevine telegraph...
ReplyDelete*Grandpappy Beauregard riding foaming stallion...furious you run off with the recipe of the recipe...you better scram!*
Quick, jungle gazelle, offer your back, so Miss Mae can hot foot it back to the plantation!
Cate, love your outfit, and enjoy your wild swinging time with Oliver! You've been a blast! :)
Sharon is lending you Oliver for the evening? What a privilege.
ReplyDeleteWhat a privilege it was to have you here today Cate. You rocked the ewaves and everyone loves you!
Take a bow and twirl, I see you've changed into a black little evening dress. How can you walk in those shoes?
Have fun, you were great!
And would Rachel Rossano contact me at mricksen@att.net to collect her prize. Yes, it was "Who Greased the Vine??" Tarzan's frantic last words, you guessed first and visited often...Junior likes you and so do we!
I've enjoyed every minute! Can't wait till your next roast! See youuuuuuuuuuuuu
ReplyDelete*swings away with Oliver into the thick canopy of trees, toward the wildly beating drums*
She was a trooper huh people. Three cheers for Cate. All of us raise our glasses of recipe to cheer Cate for her brilliant performance.
ReplyDeleteMay your future be books.
What a party. I hope no one greases the grapevine before Oliver swings on it.
ReplyDeleteNow you can say you've truly been roasted, Cate. You all did a wonderful job. Even Oliver.
Wow! Great to see Michelle in print!! Sorry I missed the actual roast...
ReplyDeleteHope by now you've cooled off!
I'm late with my comment as I was at my "other job" yesterday.
ReplyDeleteHi Cate and everyone. Love the excerpt!
Clare Austin