Welcome to the Opening Day of Author Roast & Toast! To get the event steaming, our brave premier author, Danielle Thorne, is ready to be anchored to the spit. Come on out, Danielle!
Blindfolded Danielle, with hands tied behind her back, is led by two burly, bearded, rum-breathed pirates. She struggles but they, guffawing at her feminine weakness, lift her bodily and set her on the plank. Wind molds her gown against her small frame, pastes the mane of blond hair to cover her face.
"Thar ye go. Off wit' ye now." Using the tips of their swords, the two prod her forward. Slowly, tentatively, she inches down the creaking board. Bare toes hanging off the end, she pauses, inhales a quavering breath. A wave splashes over, drenching her from head to foot.
"This water's cold!" she screams, breaking free from her bounds. Ripping off the blindfold, she yells, "Warm it up, me maties! Let's get this party a-roaring!"
We couldn't agree more, Danielle! :) To start, we'll allow Danielle to introduce herself in her own words:
Danielle Thorne is the author of two 2009 novels: THE PRIVATEER, a 1729 historical about British privateering in the Caribbean, and TURTLE SOUP, a sweet contemporary romance set between Atlanta and St. Thomas. She is the 2009-2010 Co-chair for the New Voices writing competition for young writers, and active with online author groups such as The Sweetest Romance Authors and Classic Romance Revival. She lives with her four sons and husband, who is an air traffic controller, south of Atlanta, Georgia.
Danielle's soon to be released book is called Turtle Soup.
Blurb: Sea turtles may be endangered but after an encounter with marine biologist, Jack Brandon, nothing will stop Sara Hart from naming her deli, Turtle Soup. When Jack takes a job at the nearby Georgia Aquarium, Sara finds the environmental poster boy at her door, hungry and carrying a chip on his shoulder. Neither thinks the other has what it takes, until a scuba class reveals what lies beneath the surface. It will take food, friends, and a little help from Mother Nature, to help them see that making a difference isn’t all numbers and glory. It must begin with love.
Excerpt:
She came around the corner in response to the front door’s bell. The girl from the airport, the one with his book, had hair piled up on top of her head, gold hoops hanging from her earlobes.
"Oh," she said, but something told him she suspected this moment would come. He glanced down the street to the aquarium. Turtle Soup? He felt a flicker of ridicule.
A cloud of menace passed over her face. "I didn’t expect to see you in here. Wouldn’t a place like this be against your principles?"
"Not unless you actually serve turtle."
"I cook clams," she said coolly. "I’d use turtle if I could get a hold of it."
"They’re endangered, sweetheart."
She jerked back at his meaningless term of endearment. "I hear they’re pretty tasty."
"Just because something’s tasty," he answered, glancing over the counter at her waistline, "doesn’t mean it’s worth the trouble."
(To be published by Awe-struck Publishing: www.awe-struck.net
Fall 2009)
All right! Now the question to be answered is this: What song does a turtle sing when he's swimming laps in a bowl of soup?
Danielle will choose her winner from all the entries and announce the lucky person here tomorrow morning. You'll receive a copy of this wonderful book!
D
As many of you may know, our beloved sister hostess SHARON DONOVAN, tragically passed away on 11th April 2012. We who knew her, loved her, and were inspired by her courage and determination to face head on whatever life threw at her. When she could no longer see to paint she turned to writing and showed her amazing talent in the Inspirational Romance and Romantic Suspense genres, and her story 'Charade Of Hearts' was awarded the coveted Predators and Editors Award in January 2011.This Blog was a source of great delight to her, she was one of the founder hostesses and she contributed to the fun and silliness in her own original way, and was kind enough to let her unique creation, the hunky butler 'Oliver' join us for our Friday romp and prepare 'virtual breakfast' for the guests on the following morning. It's beyond hard to have to go on without her, but we know that she would have been the first to insist that 'the show must go on.' She is, and will always be with us in spirit.Sharon, dear friend, we will never forget you.
The Author Roast and Toast is part of the legacy you left us. Let's raise a Toast to you as well as all our guests.
***********************************************************
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE OUR GUEST? DO YOU WANT TO PROMOTE YOUR NEW RELEASE OR EVEN AN OLDER ONE?IF YOU FANCY BEING GUEST OF HONOUR AT ONE OF OUR PARTIES JUST EMAIL US AT THE ADDRESS in 'OLIVER'S RULES'!(PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A 'G' RATED BLOG SO NOTHING HIGHER THAN THIS RATING, PLEASE.)
Congratulations on the Grand Opening. Turtle Soup looks like an amazing book.
ReplyDeleteVal
Good morning, Val! Yes, it does, doesn't it? Can't wait to read it!
ReplyDeleteSo, Danielle, welcome to your Roast Day! We hope you're ready...because WE are! LOL
Welcome to the Author Roast and Toast, Danielle! We look forward to a fun day ahead.
ReplyDeleteSharon
Hi Danielle, welcome to the book cook. Danielle today this is your life!
ReplyDeleteHave fun with it!
I just got an email about this! What a great idea! Congratulations on "opening day" and I just read the blurb on Turtle Soup...it sounds fantastic.
ReplyDeleteAnd it just may be too early for me to know what the "song" would be...but I didn't think turtles could sing? Unless he likes "Animal Crackers" in his soup!!
Welcome to the big roast Danielle!! Good Luck!!
XOXO Amy
PA Princess, thanks for coming over! But...LOL...that's the fun of AR&T. Here at this spot, frogs DO fly, and turtles DO sing!! LOLOL
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Matey's! Just in from Tweeting and Promos about this hilarious event.
ReplyDeleteOliver! Oliver! Where is that lackadaisical butler? I need a latte.
We're waiting for our guest of honor to arrive. She gets a special glass of Miss Mae's famous...ah...lemonade! *wink*
ReplyDeleteOliver, tea please. I prefer PGTip please. Junior is offering dog biscuits to any blogger with a dog.
ReplyDeleteJunior come back here, no sniffing the bloggers please!
Oliver strolls in, eyes searching for Danielle. He is at the ready to serve the guest of honor. With a sigh, he hands the "Medicine Woman" her latte. Oliver is looking forward to his autograph from the author of "Turtle Soup" and has his linen napkin at the ready.
ReplyDeleteThis is great and good job all of you.
ReplyDeleteMy "challenged" answer to the turtle question:
"5 minutes left" by the Turtle Band.
Good going, Mary. I've brought my Labs, Riley and Yipper along. Here, sweeties. Take a biscuit from Junior. Then all three of you can play in the big yard.
ReplyDeleteRiley! Whaddya mean, "you only like the beef flavored"? You will be polite, like your sister, and eat it anyway! Then you will thank Junior for his generosity.
Sorry, Mary. I'm afraid my dogs are spoiled. I have no idea how they got that way. "sigh"
Oliver struts back in with Mary's tea, eyes glued on the door for Danielle. He gives Junior a pat on the head. Oliver sets the buffet with donuts, brownies, blueberry muffins and fresh fruit. He places the sterling silver pots of coffee and tea and winks at Miss Mae. Oliver could use a kick of the recipe, if you please!
ReplyDeleteNo problem he says he'll break out the good ones later.oh pooches these are beef honestly. Try one before you go Yipper and Riley.
ReplyDeleteHi Folks - and a special welcome our special guest, Danielle,. I've been sending out news of our Grand Opening and have also featured it in my Newsletter - that's why I'm a bit late - and Cuddles ran off with my mouse. Cuddles, Cuddles come back with that cutlass immediately - he's got quite carried away with this wonderful pirate theme!
ReplyDeleteHi Val, Park Avenue Pricess, Patsy and my fellow 'Toastesses'. Hope I haven't forgotten anywone.
Oh Oliver, a nice cup of Earl Grey would go down very well - thank you, sweetie.
P.L., "Five Minutes Left?" Cute! Hee-hee!
ReplyDeleteWhere is Princess Danielle! Oh my! Look seaward! The pirates have blindfolded our guest of honor again! Sic 'em, Junior, Riley, Yipper! Attack those barbarians! We must get our pretty princess to the Roast.
(Junior runs back with a sword in his mouth. Yipper has a bandana, and Riley is still at it, clamping down on Blackbeard's wooden leg and growling ferociously.)
I am so glad no editors are here yet. I just used an "ing" word and an "ly" word in the same sentence. LOL
Laurie
Yes, Laurie, I can't just imagine how your babies got spoiled! LOL
ReplyDeleteJunior, stop! You do NOT jump on Oliver's white clothes with your muddy paws!
Wait, here comes Laurie with some of her herbs. She knows just the trick to dissolve mud-exactly-where-it-oughtn't-to-be...
Go, herb gal!
Oliver wags his finger at Laurean, wondering why she brought her dogs instead of her herbs. He wants to make sure there is a herb to remedy all headaches and tummy aches to insure all have a fun day with Danielle!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations the grand opening! Danielle, Turtle Soup sounds like an awesome book.
ReplyDeleteNow, for the turtle. Poor little guy, swimming around in soup...Anyway, the song he's singing? "Help!" by the Beatles, of course.
Authors...this is RELIEF day!!! We can write any durn way we's please today...with all the "ing's" and "ly's" our little fingers can type!!!
ReplyDeletehee hee...*snort*...(hope there ain't no editors peeking over me shoulder)
welcome back, danielle [we met, along with many others, on the now defunct 'book roast']
ReplyDeletenice excerpt and a neat name for a book and/or deli ;)
for a song, turtle would pick something from:
turtle-island-odyssey.com/songs.html
perhaps 'the mystic shadow side of life' :)
Well, I'm a little wet, but I'm here. I could sure use something to drink. Oliver?
ReplyDeleteThank you for the showing up this morning. And so prompt!
Welcome back, Laughing Wolf! We met on the Book Roast and we are so honored to have you aboard our new roast. Here here!
ReplyDeleteMary, Whaddya mean, "try one before you go?" Yipper and Riley are here for the day. Junior seems to enjoy their company. He's making eyes at Yipper. Riley brought his rubber ball and Yipper, has her stuffed
ReplyDeletemouse.
"Junior, go get one of your toys so you can play with them."
Thanks for the tea Oliver. Junior go sit with Oliver. No more running or jumping on people. You are her to do a job, look at the people you haven't bothered to greet yet.
ReplyDeleteOliver could you lace my tea with a tad bit of recipe please.
Laughing Wolf, Hi there! Your choice of songs sounds interesting. Haven't heard that one, but would like to.
ReplyDeleteWelcome aboard! What would you like to sip on?
Laurie
(gulping greedily her first beverage)
ReplyDeleteAh, ahem. Oh, Laughing Wolf, we meet again. I'm a little damp but ready for some fun (in the sun). Good morning to you Val, Sharon, Mary, Park Avenue, Laurean, P. A., Lyn, E.A., and Miss Mae, or course (checking bottom of her glass suspiciously). Right, Miss Mae. I'm truly flattered ya'll are here. And all for some Turtle Soup. That'll make for some delicious conversation.
A crow flying overhead drops the note clenched in his claws...
ReplyDeleteOur fair maiden, Danielle, has been dancing twinkle toes on deck with those two rum-breathed pirates (seems they became fast friends), and the thunder started rumbling and the lightning started crackling and the music got faster and faster and...
Well, anyway, she's gonna be here, folks!
Welcome Danielle. Oliver rushes over to her, beaming and winking. What can I bring you to drink, Miss Danielle? I am at your service! Might I be so bold as to request your autograph on my linen napkin?
ReplyDeleteDani! Dani! Are you okay, prncess? Junior, Riley, and Yipper have rescued you from those awful barbarians!
ReplyDeleteNo! No! Riley, you have to give back Blackbeard's wooden leg. Give it to me! (Riley runs away, Laurie chasing after him, shouting, "No more dog biscuits for you, you little scoundrel!')
Laurie
Here Danielle, put this pillow behind your back and get comfortable. Oliver get her a warm towel. Junior stop licking her feet.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Cuddles?
hee hee...Danielle traipsed up quickly, didn't she? She beat my last post! LOL
ReplyDeleteThat was cute, Park Avenue Princess. "Animal Crackers" in his soup? Hee-hee.
ReplyDeleteLaurie
Autograph? (Danielle flushes and looks around the group, surprised). Sure. Ah...another lemonade will do.
ReplyDeleteTell me, Miss Mae, what have you been drinking this morning? Messages, bah. I was here long before the crow flies, uh, flew. Just a little wardrobe change from a morning splash..er..swim.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOliver rushes out and has a towel for Danielle. He's heated it and hands it to her with a steaming cup of brew. He blushes and winks, totally beguiled by his first guest. He might need something for his thumping heart. Where is Lauren with her herbs? And he is still wondering why she has brought her dogs instead of her herbs? Where is your medicine bag, Miss?
ReplyDelete(Chuckling over Laurean and the dogs). Forget the wooden leg, Lauren. If it wasn't for those pups I'd still be...never mind. It's too early in the morning to dance with the devil. Who needs a prosthetic when you have ship? (Gazed out to the distant sea).
ReplyDeleteHey, great idea! The book sounds like a lot of fun. I love strong, independent women. Since I'm known for my snarkiness, I would say our beloved turtle is wistfully humming Stairway to Heaven.
ReplyDeleteOh, why, Oliver, heh heh. Thanks for the towel. You're so...young, I mean, tan. Er..kind.
ReplyDeleteOliver now has a tall glass of lemonade for Miss Danielle. His heart thumps wildly and his face blushes as he falls in love and begins to sing "Help" by the Beatles. He asks Laughing Wolf what he would like to drink? A little coffee, perhaps or something stronger? Wink wink at Miss Mae.
ReplyDelete*Sigh* Cuddles what are you doing with that magic horn of yours? I;'ve tried to post twice and it ended up as gobbledigook! I'll try again - this is what I was trying to say:
ReplyDeleteWelcome Danielle, I'm so glad you're OK and those varmints didn't hold you to ransome or anything.
Hiya Laughing Wolf, so glad you could make it! Make yourself at home and get Oliver to pour you some of her special recipe,- if you can tear him away from the Guest of Honour, Danielle, of course, looks like he's in love - AGAIN!
Margie, it may be the beverages their serving this morning but I like it. Stairway to Heaven. I can just see my little sea turtle backstroking through his warm bowl of Caribbean soup. Now there's a tune that would fit!
ReplyDeleteeeek! Oliver is jealous of those pirates! He demands they stop dancing with Danielle and he's threatening...he's threatening...oh no!
ReplyDeleteGasp!
He plucked a feather from Polly's tail and he's going to torture them with the old "ye feet tickler"...
Run, me maties! (and keep your shoes on too!)
Beatles, Oliver? You have a nice voice. *blush* I mean that, sincerely. All I've heard is funny, I mean, filthy!, little sailor ditties all week long. (Starts humming Farewell Ye Spanish Ladies under her breath).
ReplyDeleteUm, Oliver? Now why'd he take off down the beach? You don't think he can actually catch a one-legged pirate do you?
ReplyDeleteJealous? Over me? *blush*
Hello to all the new arrivals. I apologize if I've overlooked anyone, it's a bit chaotic at the moment as there's a blazing fire aboard this ship...and a muddy stained, recipe-eyed butler is running barefoot on deck...the guests are shrieking...Cuddles scampers up the poop deck...Junior wags his tail...and Miss Mae withdraws a beaded flask from the pockets of her skirts...
ReplyDeleteWait I think I hear music. it's cuddles an Junior listening to the horrible song. The Poopy Doopy song. that Junior found on line. He loves it! He says the guy who wrote it likes turtles and kids.He has a bunch of turtles for pets.
ReplyDeleteBut no that is not the answer to the question.
(Danielle takes a swig of her suspicious lemonade).
ReplyDeleteI can do chaos.
(Swallows a hiccup).
Live for it.
We've already had some good suggestions for my turtle singing in his soup. Shame that the posts are getting bungled out of order but a few drinks of this WONDERFUL lemonade and your guests should have no problem sorting us out.
What is Oliver doing hanging from the yardarm? He's soo...(cocks head)...tall.
I wonder if your beloved turtle will build his stairway with toothpicks...I mean a turtle has no teeth so what use does he have for them? I'm just sayin....
ReplyDeleteMary? The Poopy Doopy song? (giggles) I have an incredible urge to Google.
ReplyDeleteOliver leaps out of the shadows, sword in hand and fights all pirates looking Danielle's way. He rescues her just as one of the pirates is about to run with her. Still singing, he downs a heaping swig of the recipe and shoves the pirate overboard, biceps wildly flexing. He winks at Danielle and asks all guests if they need some refreshments. He's sweating a bit, not used to so much excitement before 10 am.
ReplyDeleteHello and welcome to all guests I've missed. We hope you have a delightful time with us today as we roast and toast Danielle. Cocktails anyone? Wink wink snort snort!
ReplyDeleteGoodness!
ReplyDelete(Danielle straightens her clothes, takes her seat again).
You're very protective, Oliver.
(grins)
Ladies, how do you do without him?
what? Not 10 a.m.? Here at the Author Roast and Toast, time stands still and we are...well, between here and there, of course!
ReplyDeleteah ha! Danielle sticks out her cup to receive Miss Mae's special recipe...
Stand back, love, I see Laurie wants to add a special herb to it...ooh, that's gonna be good!
Oliver freshens Marjie's drink with a wicked wink and struts off singing Stairway to Heaven, loud and off key. He flags down Miss Mae and steals her flask and runs off with it, hiccupping loudly. Oops, he trips and falls on the slippery deck but doesn't spill a drop of the precious recipe. He grins his devilish grin.
ReplyDeleteCuddles, come back with that recipe of Miss Mae's - its not going to ut out the fire and it's too precious to waste like that!
ReplyDeleteOliver dips his bucket in the sea and manages to douse the flames before they do any damage. Oliver throws the bucket to one side and
damands a kiss from Danielle . She offers her cheek and then gasps 'behind you'!
Oliver turns to see a pirate with a turtle in one hand, about to strike the hansome butler in the back with his cutlas.
"Cuddles!" Lyn shrieks There's a clatter of tiny hooves and Cuddles lanches himself at the pirte from behind and prods him in the butt with his sharp little horn. The pirate gives a yelp of pain and falls overboard with a loud splash.
Oliver turns back to the lovely Danielle 'Now about Turtle Soup...'
Google it. His favorite song. Of I didn't let him play it, he wouldn't be a good doggie.
ReplyDelete(Danielle eyes her refreshed drink with DEEP suspicion).
ReplyDeleteYa'll certainly know how to throw a party.
Good Morning!
ReplyDeleteGazes around for Oliver...then remembers reason for being here.
Why the turtle would be singing Hot! Hot! Hot! By Poindexter of course
Maureen
'Cuddles' you've done it again! You stole the 'p' from 'put' and the 'a' from pirate! You can be replaced you know!
ReplyDeleteHi, Margie. Thanks for bringing your snarky little self over to the Roasting party.
ReplyDeleteOliver, bring Margie a glass of lemonade? What do you mean, "we are out?" Who's gonna hop overboard and go to the market for more? Any volunteers? Margie needs LEMONADE to quench her thirst.
Laurie
Good morning, Maureen!
ReplyDelete(Danielle gazes around the wild party onboard and off toward the beach)
Glad you could join us. I love your song suggestion. HOT HOT HOT--Now that's festive. Give Oliver five minutes and he'll be singing that one, too.
You've met Oliver, right? He's so...musical.
Ladies and Oliver, remind me to drink some of the special lemonade before listening to The Poopy Doopy Song again. I may never be the same again, but it did provide a good laugh. LOL :)
ReplyDeleteLyn,
ReplyDeleteHave you seen Blackbeard's wooden leg? Methinks trouble is brewin'. Look! Cuddles is trotting away with it.
Yipper, where is my herb boot? (Yipper's snout is caked with mud.) Don't tell me...you buried it!
Miss Mae, as soon as I can figure out where these dogs buried my herb boot, I'll conjure up the necessary remedies. (Hope it's not on the bottom of the ocean.)
Never fear! Riley loves water. Go, Riley! Find the boot! Bring mommie the herb boot!
Laurie
Thrilled to pieces the fire is out, Oliver swaggers on board singing Hot Hot Hot. He winks at Maureen and hands her a glass of lemonade and tells her it is straight lemondade. He staggers and slurs his speech. Then he pulls out his pirate patch, places it over one eye and asks Danielle, "Do I steal thee hearth...hic...heart, me sweet lass?"
ReplyDeleteJunior thinks it's hysterical too!.
ReplyDeleteOliver manages to tear himself away from Danielle for a moment.
ReplyDelete"Miss Margie, may I suggest perhaps lemonade is a bit er *hic* ordinary for this occasion? You really should try some of Miss Mae's special recipe." He pours a generous glass for Marjie and another for Maureen. "You ladies are looking absolutely enchanting, if I may say so." He looks around and while everyone is occupied, downs a couple more himself, then pours another glass and takes it a little unsteadily back to Danieelle, gazing at her with adoring eyes.
Hi, E.A. Do you need a headache remedy after listening to the song? I think I got something in my bag.
ReplyDeleteUh...my herb boot came up missing. But that's a whole nother story.
Laurie
Junior go find the herb boot.
ReplyDeleteOh flip, Laurean, you're right.
ReplyDeleteCuddles - come back with that leg this instant, bad unicorn!
She turns around to hid her giggles at the sight of Blackbeard hopping around the poopdeck on one leg.
Congrats on the new release Danielle!
ReplyDeleteI think he'll be singing Cheeseburger in Paradise to distract everyone so he can slip out of the bowl.
(Danielle flushing, tries to avoid Oliver's eyes)
ReplyDeleteLaurean, what exactly do you keep in that herb boot?
I don't need a headache remedy so much as a giggle remedy. I may be laughing intermittently for the rest of the day because of that song. It's so awful I have to laugh! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Danielle,
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt, best of luck with your new book...and roasting is always such fun...And, YES...Server, where's that drink??...Tabs
A few minutes later
ReplyDelete"puff, pant* Laurean, I couldn't get Cuddles to drop the wooden leg, but look what Junior sniffed out hidden in Cuddles' bed - your herb boot!
Oliver rushes out with a little something for EA. With a hiccup, he presents the brew with a wink.
ReplyDeleteWell it is the perfect song for a dog. Imagine the torture if you had to listen t it all day>
ReplyDeleteHi Tabitha! It's so nice you could come by.
ReplyDelete(giggling)
I'm sorry. I'm a little overwhelmed with all the attention. And this beverage is ah..not what I'm used to.
And then there's this new song I've been taught. You'll have to hear it sometime. The Poopy Doopy song? For some reason it just seems like something this lot would enjoy. I know my own crew would. You'll have to google.
Flustered with more pretty guests, Oliver rushes out with fresh drinks for all, trips over Cuddles and Junior, but manages to not spill a drop. He beams brilliantly at the newcomers and graces them with his most dazzling smile. "Ladies, ladies, come one, come all." But he peers over his shoulder at Laurie and whispers, "Something for me swimming head, Miss?"
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, Oliver, this is just what I needed.
ReplyDeleteMary, I think my shih tzu would love it...which is precisely why he's not going to listen to that song. He'd never let me turn it off! LOL
ReplyDeleteWoo-Hoo it's happenin' in here today! Congrats on the the Roast opening and congrats to Danielle. Turtle Soup sounds great. I enjoyed the Privateer.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can think that the Turtle might say is:
Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
(Lewis Carroll)
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteto answer your question, I have a variety of herbs in my boot for cures like lemonade-itis giggliosis, Mean pirate-itis, snapping turtle syndrome, and even one for overdosing on the "Poopy-Doopy" song.
Hywela,
Thank you so much. Cuddles has rescued my herb boot. Now I can bring aid to these helpless vic...uh...guests.
Laurie
Maureen downs the 'special brew' all the while unable to take her eyes off Oliver's staggering, though still somehow seductive, dance moves to Hot, Hot, Hot.
ReplyDeleteFanning self.
Miss Mae droops over the wheel, staring at the ruckus with wide eyes...
ReplyDeletethe ship turns, steering for...The Black Lagoon!
Hi Cindy, I appreciate you coming by. Thanks for the nod and I hope you get a chance to read Turtle Soup. I do believe you've offered the most poetic rendition of a Turtle Soup song. I think I'm going to be giving away far more than one copy of Turtle Soup today. So much great music, and company....(glances toward the dancing Oliver and flushed Maureen)...
ReplyDeleteThe still dancing fool Oliver grins at the ladies, takes Danielle for a spin about board after a snort of a special herb from the boot. He winks at Cindy and points to the recipe. Then hhe spies Miss Mae at the wheel and gasps, clutches his heart and faints. Oh dear, Sharon rushes to the rescue. Good help is so hard to find!!
ReplyDeleteActually Laurie, it was Junior who rescued your boot and my bad Cuddles had hidden it! Drat that little unicorn's disappeared again - that means he's up to no good! Excuse me Danielle and guests, I'm going to have to leave for a while to look for that little varmint and bring him back before he gets into trouble!
ReplyDeleteDuddles...I mean, Cuddles...where are you going with that escaped turtle atop your back?
ReplyDeleteLaurie, help, I have a bad case of lemonade-itis giggliosis, and Junior, stop licking my face! Oh, that's Oliver!
and hello, Cindy, Maureen, E.A., and others! You're in for a wild ride atop this rocking and swaying ship!
Hi Cindy K!
ReplyDeleteGlad you stopped in. Loved your poetic rendition of what the turtle might sing. Sounds just like Lewis Caroll. Anyone remember "The Jabberwokky" ?(Probably misspelled. I hope E.A.'s hawk eye doesn't notice.)
Yes, we are having a mav-ve-lous time! Have some lemonade. And if you see a wooden leg flying around, let us know. Blackbeard is still hobbling around in search of the culprit. I fear for who...whomever he catches with it.
Laurie
(Danielle is curiously watching Sharon revive Oliver)...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you knew mouth to mouth.
Uh...Miss Mae...you realize you turned the wheel? Who's at the helm?
ReplyDeleteThis direction is going to take us straight into dark waters...and the Black Lagoon.
What is Danielle doing with that pirate hat on backwards? And now she's singing!
ReplyDelete"We'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun..."
And the turtle adds his coarse words too...
What? What? Is he singing, folks????
Miss Mae,
ReplyDeleteI have just the remedy for you. It's an herb concoction for "Stumbling tongue-itis." Open wide! Got to get those drops on the very back of the tongue.
(Miss Mae says ah and Laurie uses an eyedropper and counts three drops. Miss Mae stumbles and starts to sputter.)
Miss Mae: It's bitter! Are you trying to kill me?
Laurie: Nope. Just trying to cure your..uh noticeable...lisp.
Lyn, did Blackbeard find his wooden leg yet?
Laurie
Yes, The Black Lagoon!
ReplyDeleteA collective gasp here, please...
Shut up that snoring in the corner, Junior!
Oliver comes riding up on Cuddles, grasps Danielle around her tiny waist,pulls her up with him...the ship lists, Cuddles stumbles over the snoring Junior, Oliver and Danielle fall to the deck...
ReplyDelete"You're still muddy!" Danielle struggles to sit upright. "Oliver, I've a good mind to auction you off myself."
Meanwhile, Miss Mae securely grips the rope to a life boat, holds up the flask, shakes it invitingly, and purrs, "Anyone for another round of my secret family reciped lemonade?"
tee hee...Miss Mae, you said,
ReplyDelete"Tut up dat goring in the borner, Goonier!"
Think you meant, "Shut up that snoring in the corner, Junior!"
Sharon gasps. Ahoy mates, a thunder storm is a brewin in thee skees...hic..I mean...skies. Oliver stands after mouth to mouth and falls backward into the stormy sea. Sharon screeches and yells, "Man overboard!" She leaps high in the air and onto the back of a turtle and throws a life jacket to the still blubbering Oliver. Help! Someone help us. this turtle is a sinking! What's that, Oliver? No you cannot have onemore sip of the recipe. He begs for Danielle to dive in and fetch him. He taunts her with a flex of his biceps.
ReplyDeleteOh, my, gotta love those biceps...yep...
ReplyDeleteMen!
ReplyDelete(Danielle climbs up on the table, shrugs out of her heavy skirts, and makes a lovely swan dive into the open sea. She grabs Oliver by his pretty hair and Sharon by the arm, and hoists them back over the side with a little help from her crew.)
If it weren't for my sea turtles keeping company, both of you would be in Davy Jones locker!
(She sputters, wrings out her hair, and sits back down at the rickety, mussed table with as much dignity as possible).
Hi Dani!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on TURTLE SOUP! It looks very interesting, and I am a fan of yours already. I'm about 1/3 of the way through The Privateer and loving it! Very brave of you to be the first "roastee"--it seems to be going well, with the lemonade to fortify you. Here's hoping you have many many sales!
Cheryl
Thanks, Cheryl. I must confess I am now getting into Westerns since reading your FIRE EYES. You've reawakened my sense of US shistory-- I mean HISTORY, (Heh heh. They're serving some strange stuff aboard).
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining in the fun, Cheryl. Stay as long as you like. The party's going strong. But we are still looking for Blackbeard's wooden leg. The last time we spotted it, Cuddles (Lyn's unicorn) had it in tow, trotting around the poop deck.
ReplyDeleteAt least a one-legged pirate can't cause too much trouble. Ha!
Laurie
The still sputtering Sharon glares at Oliver, picks out the sea urchins from her hair and chugs back some recipe. Changing expressions in the beat of a heart, she beams at Danielle and offers her the flask and a big thank you for saving her. Then she glares at Oliver who is grinning like the fool he is and says, "About that auction in Outter Montgolia, the one where there are no pretty girls and nothing but frozen tundra, read my lips, Oliver. Shape up or I'm selling you to the highest bidder. Oliver winks at Danielle and blows her a kiss.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheryl. Welcome to Danielle's roast today. If you can drag Oliver away, see if he'll get you a cocktail. He's a bit flustered with all the excitement on the high sea!
ReplyDeleteJunior bring that wooden leg back here. I don't care if Cuddles gave it to you. You have to give it back.
ReplyDeleteSorry, he's chewed almost all the way through it.
Hey, look inside the leg it's, it's, what the heck is that.
(Danielle laughs nervously).
ReplyDeleteWe keep all kinds of things in Blackbeard's leg. That happens to be my manuscript.
(She takes a sodden pile of papers and smooths them out on the table).
I'm planning a noontime blurb from Turtle Soup. Speaking of which, what's for lunch?
Oliver?
(She catches his eye and tries to look professional).
Well back from town and have been reading some of the comments so far. I thought I would pop in for a minute here Have to get a few things done for the FD and then I shouuld be back for awhile. Will do better after lunch at being here watching you roast poor Danille
ReplyDeleteOliver beams, "Why Smurtle...hic...I mean turtle soup, of course is on the menu!" He dives overboard to catch a few, but once more, sinks to the bottom of the stormy sea with all the recipe. "Fair maiden, Danielle! Help me find a fertile...hic...I mean...myrtle...I mean...hic...turtle. to make some soup with"
ReplyDeleteJunior go save Oliver, sober him up a little it's too early for him to be snockered.
ReplyDeleteJunior I said to help Oliver, not to help yourself to his recipe while he blows bubbles on the bottom of the water. Those are air bubbles I assume aren't they Sharon?
ReplyDelete(Danielle peers over the side)
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should have mentioned before now that TURTLE SOUP is an environmentally-themed romance and sea turtles are endangered?
Of course there IS a turtle farm in the Cayman Islands that sells the meat legally...but perhaps I should put a request in for Clam Chowder.
Oliver?
(She peers over the side again with a frown).
Who knows, Mary? Sharon shrugs. I say we leave him blubbering for a while. He promised to stay sober. Check the paper for the nearest auction. Junior, this is no time to attach a keg around your neck before you plunge into the stormy sea to rescue the blubbering drunken fool that calls himself my flawless butler. Sigh and double sigh. Where's Danielle? Maybe she can knock some sense into him. Cuddles, come here and help us! And where is Laurie with her boot to sober him up. The day is still young. Read my lips, Oliver. The auction....
ReplyDeleteSharon are you there. Oliver is underwater singing the poopy doopy song. I can hear it as the bubbles break at the top of the water.
ReplyDeleteNo Oliver that's not the song the turtle was singing.
No Junior it's not Who Let The Dogs Out, I know how much you like that song.
Boy Oliver can sure hold his breath a long time. You better get him Junior.
Lyn runs across the deck an d leans perilously over the side,#
ReplyDeleteCuddles - quick, save Oliver - I mean the recipe - I mean Oliver - the recipe, ooh 'eck get the recipe while I throw a lifebelt to Oliver!
Cuddles valiently dstands on the figurehead and dives into the sea. Oliver surfaces once more ' "Dani-eeeelle-saaave me!
Sharon, can I send that unicorn with Oliver when you aucton him - first he steals my letters, now he's adding extra ones!
ReplyDeleteOliver rises to the surface, singing an old Turtles hit. "So Happy Together! I can't see you lovin' nobody but me and only me." he flexes his biceps at Danielle. "So happy together...."
ReplyDeleteOliver, you've got to find a way to stay aboard!
ReplyDelete(She throws him a line).
I'm down to a damp corset and bloomers! Has anyone seen Miss Mae since she was last spotted at the helm? I bet she's in the galley drawing up some lunch. Or looking for that wooden leg!
(shakes her head in surrender)
Miss Mae rolls on the deck...that lemonade-itis giggiliosis is in full swing...
ReplyDeleteSharon sighs to Lyn. That Oliver is a bad influence on Cuddles and Junior, I'm afraid. Maybe if we really do sell them off for a day it might teach them a lesson. What do ya think? Hand me some recipe and I'll muster up my courage. Where is Miss Mae? Is she still cheering...hic..I mean steering this ship? Sharon staggers and slips overboard as the ship rocks. Help!!!! Woman overboard! I'm afraid of barks..hic..I mean sharks! Shriek!
ReplyDeleteClam Chowder sounds good to me. But where's our server? Come up for air, Oliver!
ReplyDeleteAs the ship veers for the Black Lagoon, Danielle scans the surroundings with her trusty spy glass.
ReplyDelete"Ahoy!" she cries, pointing to a figure reclining at the mouth of a cave. "It's that mermaid off the Chicken of the Sea tuna can!"
Congratulations on your opening day!!!!! Looks like this is going to be a great place to hang out!!
ReplyDelete:-)
Will definitely bookmark your site! Welcome Danielle, and good luck!
:-)
Look everyone there is a mermaid, no wait as it gets closer. Oh my God, it's a merman! He looks like, wait, I can't quite see his face. He's helping Oliver back into the boat. He's saved everyone and gave the wooden leg with Danielle's manuscript in it. Boy is he hot!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! Thanks for coming over! Jump aboard and hang on! LOL
ReplyDeleteDanielle, I'm just stopping by for a moment to wish you a great day. And from the sound of it, I'd say the roast is a huge success and it's not even noon yet. By the way, might I request a quart of that tea you are drinking as a carry-out to see me through my day? Does Oliver make deliveries? And if that poor turtle is still in the soup, I'm sure he'd be singing Caught In a Trap. Wishing you success with Turtle Soup.
ReplyDeleteLinda
(Danielle climbs up on top of the capstan, satisfied Oliver is alive. She pulls out her soggy manuscript.)
ReplyDeleteIt's lunch time, folks. Thank to my hostesses (looks around for any of her lady friends) and their, ah, enthusiasm. And thank you to Oliver *wink*--soggy, wet, tan, and tall Oliver, for his flattering attention.
For your noontime pleasure, a little byte of Turtle Soup:
Meet Jack:
Jack Brandon barreled past the senior couple avoiding their stares. If his flight wasn’t delayed he would miss it, and all because of some shuffling old farts. The moving sidewalk carried him across the terminal double time as he fumbled for his phone.
And Sara:
A woman moving in the opposite direction caught his attention. She whisked past, hair streaming like a kite tail. Her shoulder bag was a bright aqua that stuck out in the crowd.
Guess What? They don't mix:
He glanced over his shoulder and saw that she had looked back. For a zinger of a moment they made eye contact, then his toes hit solid ground and he was falling. His cell phone spun off in a wild arc and came to rest several feet away in pieces.
"You okay?" Humiliation rolled over him as a pair of leather boots, strung up Victorian fashion, nudged his shoulder. He pulled himself up quickly though she offered a hand. Ignoring her, he moved off for his phone.
"I’m fine."
"You sure?" The girl with the bag knelt and reached for the battery. Her jeans were fitted, her white blouse tied at the front. "I hope your phone’s okay." She gave a little laugh as if she were making fun.
"I drop it all the time."
"You don’t look that clumsy." She passed him the pieces.
People stood around looking sympathetic. Jack felt the red rise on his cheeks. She had to have climbed over the hand rail to get to him so fast. He grabbed his carry-on and stalked off not bothering to smooth down his chinos or thank her. He could feel her eyes on his back as he practically ran to catch the plane.
A whale swims by, spouting a mist of water into the air. Oliver pops out, his hands full of clams for the chowder. The burst of sea mist lands him safely aboard and he dashes down in the galley to make lunch, still singing "So happy together..."
ReplyDeleteHello, Linda, and thanks for slipping along side in that silvery yacht.
ReplyDeleteA quart of the recipe, you say? Why, here's a whole keg full!
Oliver delivers it with his tanned, rock hard, bulging biceps damp from the salty sea water. He flings hair from his eyes, flashes a bold grin, and bows gracefully.
Then Junior nips his heels, Cuddles runs off with Danielle's manuscript--AGAIN!--and Laurie is screaming because that merman is eating her special herbs!
He belches politely, but that hillbilly is not amused.
Hi Linda, (waving at her great friend) thanks for rowing by. This is the wildest send off I've ever been to, and I AM roasting-the sun, the attention, the beverages...
ReplyDelete(squinting)
My gosh, Mary, that is a Mer-man. Wow!
So he's good looking but only came for the recipe.
ReplyDeleteJunior stop sniffing everyone like that. It's so rude!
I think Cuddles likes the merman but Junior keeps biting him on the butt. Oliver is giving him dirty look.
With a big splash Oliver throws the merman back into the water.
That is disappointing he looks a lot like Brad Pitt. If you want him to stay Danielle you'll have to tell him.
ReplyDeleteYay, Oliver! butler, merman tosser extraordinaire! so glad to see you all -- isn't THIS party in full swing!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, your cover is gorgeous. Way to go, girl. You are awesome.
~Ash
Let the Merman go. I believe there's enough Oliver for all of us.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'd say that turtle's singing along with the beatles -- either doing the backstroke singing "Octopus's garden..." or... perhaps he's living in a "Yellow Submarine?"
ReplyDelete:)
Hi Ash-thanks for stopping by. Glad you like the cover for Turtle Soup. Believe it or not it went through 3 changes--but I must give credit to Nikki at Awestruck Publishing for the final product.
ReplyDeleteYou're all off to an awesome start!
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt, Danielle. Love the title, too.
Oh, Danielle -- one can only HOPE there's enough Oliver for all...
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Tee Hee!
Hi Chris. Thanks for stopping by to wish us well. Oliver will be happy to bring you some recipe, won't you, Oliver? Sharon waves madly to Linda and Ashley. Cocktails of course?
ReplyDeleteHear ye! Hear ye!
ReplyDelete(Danielle eyes the dark caves in the distance with concern. She glances at Oliver to reassure herself)
I've decided to up the free copy of Turtle Soup from 1 copy to 3 today. Of course, winners won't receive them until its release in the coming weeks, but now's a chance to win a copy if you haven't come up with a good turtle-in-the soup-ditty...
Name ONE species of sea turtle; there are seven. First post to reply wins a free copy of Turtle Soup!
LEATHERBACK SEA TURTLE!
ReplyDeleteCan I keep him Sharon. Or do I have to let him go?
ReplyDeleteHeck, he's only one Merman, they won't miss him.
Did I get it???
ReplyDeleteWhat's your experience with Marine biology?
And, I agree with Sarah. I'm endlessly impressed with your writing. I plan on reviewing both of them (and a few others - uh, wink to all my sweeties - on a new review site through my, ahem, day job.
Sharon... too early out here for cocktails. What I really need is a latte... Coffee break's about over.
Oh, Oliver! *waves daintily for service* I need a vanilla latte, stat! pretty please!
Ashley beat me! I was going to say loggerhead sea turtle.
ReplyDeleteBye Merman. Oliver quick I need some recipe, Junior where's Junior?
ReplyDeleteCome on, EA - in the spirit of the day, I'll arm-wrestle you! LOL
ReplyDeleteAs long as no one gets hurt.
ReplyDeleteKeep him, Mary!
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a keeper! they only throw back the little ones...
*wink*
According to my log (blog), ASHLEY LUDWIG...come on down! You got it!
ReplyDeleteLoggerheads are one of the seven species. That's one winner down and two to go! Stayed tuned for another chance to win a free copy this afternoon.
Congrats, Ash.
Ow, ow! You're breaking my arm! If you want the book that badly you can have it. Sheesh. LOL :)
ReplyDeleteHey, why don't you two ladies arm wrestle for Oliver?
ReplyDeleteWait, what am I saying? Losing my decorum, here.
Good to see you, Ashley. Thanks for joining the Roast. Good thing we got Oliver back, but is in any shape to serve after his bout on the ocean floor. He looks a little harried. Coulda wrestled a turtle or two down there.
ReplyDeleteOh, Oliver, sweetie, come on over here and...never mind. I think he needs to sober up a little more. His stagger is bound to send him overboard again if he tries to move.
ReplyDeleteJunior quick bring him, he can stay in our pool.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean he wants to go with Danielle? Shoot, I'll tell her. If she says no. We'll have to return him to where we found him.
Danielle he's getting in your car.
Sharon is drooling over the merman. Jumps in and smacks Oliver over the head with the wooden leg. Go away Oliver! Just may have a replacement for you. Now go get Ashley a vanilla latte and see what EA wants. Go away. Read my lips, Oliver. go away and leave me with this hot merman!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. Nice site. Nice idea.
ReplyDeleteand those singing turtles - I think they might have been in an Essex folk club, so probably singing folk songs.
Yay, Danielle!
ReplyDeleteSo, how's the roasting going? You getting a bit hot under the collar yet?
There was an author who liked turtles...
um...
What rhymes with turtles?
Hurtles rhymes with turtles, but I'm not sure that's the word you're looking for. hehe
ReplyDeleteExpertise with Marine Biology: None
ReplyDeletePassion and Commitment: 100%
Yes, indeed.
I started diving a few years ago after falling in love with seafaring books like Master and Commander and pirates like Jack Sparrow. Then the cruises started..and now I'm just a beach bum trapped in a suburban housewife's body.
I've always been a bit of a tree hugger growing up near the Smokey Mountains, but the sea runs through my veins.
FACT: My ggggggg-way back greatgrandfather, Richard Hart drowned off the coast of Rhode Island by falling overboard off his sloop, DRAGON, in the early 1700's.
*sniff *sniff
As a matter of fact, Oliver bears a striking resemblance...no..
(checking her teacup)
No wait he's getting into Sharon's car. I hope you have a big tub or a pool, Sharon, he's got a beautiful tail fin.
ReplyDeleteYep, hes in you car and I don't think Oliver sees him there yet.
Actually I think you could make hurtles work...
ReplyDeleteWonderful ideas about that turtle's song. Keep 'em coming, folks, you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteSo Oliver bears a striking resemblance to....?
ReplyDeleteMiss Mae looks Oliver over thoughtfully...
girdles, no that won't do. Another word, hmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI'd swear I've met Oliver somewhere before. I'd have to get a closer look though...
ReplyDeleteYes. Girdles. Hurdles. Turtles. I feel a very catchy limerick coming on. We need 'em on board to keep the spirits up.
ReplyDeleteMiss Mae hands Danielle that spy glass to give Oliver a much more indepth once over...
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to Lyn and Cuddles? When we entered these dark caverns, they've gone terribly quiet!
ReplyDeleteAnd Laurie...she's picking seaweed off the walls!
Yes...um...no..Oliver looks nothing like my grandfather. (hands spyglass back to Miss Mae).
ReplyDeleteI warned you all not to let us enter the caves. We may need to whip up some comfort food. I'll pull out my copy of Turtle Soup and share a recipe. Turtle Soup is a delicious eatery after all (in the story, anyway).
Um...Laurie, not sure that seaweed is edible. It's glowing.
Okay, Junior, our party is either out chasing after mermen, dancing with Oliver, or scraping algae off the side of the ship...shudders...
ReplyDeleteUse your sniffer, boy. Round 'em up!
(Perplexed)
ReplyDeleteWell there was this mer-man..and Sharon and Mary...and then EA and arm wrestling...
I've no idea what happened to Lyn's Cuddles.
A while later there's a sound of giggling and Lyn appears, with seaweed in her hair, with a rather dishevelled unicorn trotting behind. Oliver, bottle of recipe in hand, has his arm around her shoulders and a smirk on his face
ReplyDeleteOh...er hello folks, Hi Chris and Sheila, see you've joined the party. Hi everyone else, hope you're beeing looked after, Danielle - er um Cuddles disappeared so I went in that cave to find him - and I sort of got lost and Oliver came and found me - isn't he brave!
Sharon grabs the spyglass and takes a second look at Oliver. Now that he has some pirate blood running in his blue veins, she eyes him with renewed interest. She tells the merman in her trunk to take a swim. Oh, Oliver, give us a kiss!
ReplyDeleteHi Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI have never been to an author roast before. Not sure what to do.
Congrats on your latest release.
Row, row, row your shell swiftly round the bowl; ducking and weaving and dodging the spoon one more bite to go...
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute story! Sounds great!
Hope you don't mind well-done. Looks like quite a roast going on here...
Donna
All of a sudden Junior bursts onto the scene. He grabs Lyn and Cuddles, the Merman left, Oliver threatened him. He seems to have sobered up and look at him replenishing the food with a new spread of lunch foods. Ah there is seafood salad too. Anybody want some?
ReplyDeleteJunior has everything under control. Except for Miss Mae, she won't come.
Hi Kelly, Thanks for stopping by. I've been a lucky today--there's been a lot more toasting than roasting, haha, but it's certainly entertaining.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to think up a good song for my poor turtle swimming in his song. Any great turtley tune will do--just post yours to win.
Donna, I love your little ditty!
ReplyDeleteoops! I meant a song for my turtle swimming in his SOUP!
ReplyDeleteLOL Donna! I love the song!
ReplyDeleteOliver, you're such a sweetheart, serving up lunch like this. Ooh, look at all the yummy delicacies he's setting out...
Oh! That reminds me. Since things are calming down, and Oliver's changed and dry and beauti--I mean, I have a little recipe I wanted to share:
ReplyDeleteTurtle Soup's Cherry Whip
1 20-ounce can of crushed pineapple
1 can of cherry pie filling
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
1 large 16-ounce container of whipped topping
Drain the pineapple. In a large bowl mix the pineapple, cherry pie filling, and sweetened condensed milk. Gently stir in the whipped topping until blended and smooth. Cover. Chill in refrigerator at least 3 hours or overnight before serving.
Donna's song is much better than my limerick...
ReplyDeleteThere once was a girl who loved turtles,
Whom often was seen wearing girdles.
Leatherback took one bite, she ran off in a fright,
And slung-shot into space, in a hurtle!
Ohh... that's pretty bad! *snort*
Oliver has changed into a classy white suit, he has a red rose in one of his lapels. He smells of some wonderful cologne, just a tad not too much.
ReplyDeleteHoly Moly Cuddles and Junior have been brushed and they smell clean too. Cuddles is prancing around like he won a book or something. Junior is sitting politely next to Oliver.
He has put out an amazing spread and there's lobster salad too!
I see the herb boot is prominently displayed and a huge bottle of recipe awaits us all. Yummy!
Danielle? Can I add that recipe to my feeding a finicky family blog?
ReplyDeleteIt looks YUMMY!
"Ladies, ladies, I'm here to please!" Oliver takes a sweeping bo and unveils more culinary delights. Clam chowder, shrimp cocktail, lobster bisque and tuna of the sea, of course. He is donned in a chef's hat, his pirate patch and a wicked grin. He pumps his biceps to the new guests. "Welcome abord, matees"
ReplyDeleteOkay, Sharon. I think I just swooned.
ReplyDeleteSERIOUSLY.
tee hee! I'm so staying for lunch.
Oohh, Clam Chowder! Yum!
ReplyDeleteWhy certainly, Ash. Feel free to post the recipe. It's included in the back of Turtle Soup!
ReplyDeleteI promise you, it's soooo good! (Cherry Whip!)
Not as good as Oliver's heavenly clam chowder, but pretty darn close.
now that recipe...Danielle's, not Miss Mae's...sounds soooo fattening!
ReplyDeleteI gained 20 pounds since reading it!
Eeek, Oliver, chase me 20 laps around the deck to burn off those calories!
Speaking of which, what IS in your special recipe everyone's been drinking Miss Mae? It's not a secret is it?
ReplyDelete(Danielle glances up from beneath her lashes at Oliver)
I bet our server knows.
Ahem. Ur. No one's even said a word about my horrible limerick. I don't know whether to be relieved or dismayed!
ReplyDelete*slurps clam chowder*
*tears bread into little bitty pieces*
~Ashley
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI've make the Cherry Whip for Christmas dinner. Hubby's favorite dessert next to Cherry cheesecake. Mmmmm! If I don't stop eating it, I'll have to brew myself up a remedy.
Donna,
So happy to see you here. That was cute little rendition of "Row, Row, Row, your boat." Who coulda thunk that up but you?
Miss Mae, quit licking the bowl. You don't want to lose that girlish figure.
Sharon, could you please get Oliver under control? Maybe Mary could give you the same tips she used to train her sweet little Junior.
Ashley, I luuuvved your limerick!
ReplyDeleteIt was so..so...rhymey! LOL
Me too Ashley I read it and I thought this girl has real issues.
ReplyDeleteNo I mean what a wonderful limerick
Ashley wrote, stop crying Junior will lick you from head to tail if you keep that up.
He can't stand to see women cry.
Danielle you eat the cherry stuff like pudding?
ReplyDeleteA big wave to all newcomers-- Donna, Shiela and Kelly. Sure, Ash, stay for lunch! EA, you know Oliver is beaming with your compliments! And ever obliging, he chases Miss Mae around deck to burn off the extra calories. He does such a fine job, he chases her overboard, petticoats flapping. Splash! She's swimming with the merman!in the rip roarin' waves! Oh wait...Danielle has him by the tail and singing the turtle song to him.
ReplyDeleteMary! I challenge you to do one better!
ReplyDeleteOliver! *sniff!*
Where's a tissue? A handkerchief?
Oh, wait. Your shirt sleeve will do.
*blot blots eyes*
Thanks.
Oliver's beaming from compliments? Whew, that's a relief! I was worried for a moment there that the lovely glow of his tan had been brightened by the strange seaweed Laurie was scraping out of a cave earlier.
ReplyDeletePosted to Feeding a Finicky Family!
ReplyDelete:) Along with your GORGEOUS book cover. come take a peek!
Feeding a Finicky Family Blog
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteCute limerick, but I'd change the last line to "....and landed in the lap of Aunt Myrtle."
Sheila, come on in and taste this Cherry Whip...uh...if there's any left.